I sat perfectly still, eyeing the board like it held secrets. I wanted to see my Pops smile again, that rare flash of pride. I wanted to hold onto this version of my life a little while longer before it shifted back into what it really was. My impulse to move the pieces on the board became overwhelming. I rubbed my hands down my pajama pants then heard the sound ofa spoon clatter against the floor. Something told me to stay seated, but my curiosity always got the best of me. I knew it was momma.
I end up walking slowly down the hall, heart tightening with each step. I made it to our guest bathroom that none of us used. Momma was crouched near the bottom drawer under the sink with her back to me. Her hands visibly trembled anxiously as she tried to open a childproof cap to a pill bottle. A glass pipe rested on the floor next to a burnt spoon.
The powder was already lined. My stomach twisted and the happiness that I felt at the start of the day vanished.
“Momma?”
She jumped like she’d been shit in the back as she spun my way with wide eyes.
“Oh! K-Kenny, I was just—” She clamped her mouth shut as she looked at me and realized that I already knew.
Her robe hung loose around her shoulders, the fake brightness from this morning was gone, washed away in guilt and withdrawal.
“I’m sorry baby,” she casted her eyes down. “I was trying to wait until tonight; I just needed a little something to hold me over.” Several tears dropped down her beautiful sunken face.
“Please, go back in the kitchen. I don’t want Kendrick seeing me like this.” She gave me her back not waiting for my own set of pleas that I was ready to give to her.
I stepped backward like the floor had shifted because my insides did. I slammed the bathroom door shut and went back into the kitchen and sat right back in front of my new chess board. I stared at it while forcing my raw painful emotions down. My father’s king sat untouched, and across from it, my knight stood proud.
“I’m losing my parent’s…but I’ll never lose my own game of chess.”
LOVE WITHOUT OWNERSHIP, IS WEAKNESS…
The queen was trapped.She had nowhere to move without giving me exactly what I wanted. I smiled because victory was on the way. I inhaled the weed smoke then held my breath as I leaned back in my chair releasing the smoke. My chess board was set in the middle of my desk in front of me. Black and white pieces frozen mid-battle.
Josie did well by staying still, she was perched at the edge of my desk watching each move I made on the board intently.
I’d been playing myself for the last hour, running scenarios to keep my mind off of Mira. It wasn’t working, I could still see the eagerness in her eyes as I took her on a tour yesterday. I could smell the scent of her pussy and taste her chocolate nipples onmy tongue. I wanted her close by me every second. I knew deep down, I had to give her time.
I also understood that everybody moved differently. I was far from normal; I accepted that about myself a long time ago. With Mira, I didn’t want the feeling that she gave me on the inside to end. I never had it with any woman. I took pride since yesterday on being able to show her something that piqued her interest. She looked at everything like no one had ever shown her something worth believing in until I put it in front of her.
I moved my hand slowly toward the queen piece, my thumb brushed against the cool polished top. My next move was already in my head.Checkmate in three….
My office door burst open. Tone’s voice tore through my quiet space with irritation.
“I already told you, Staress, I ain’t doing this shit with you right now?—”
Staress voice followed by sharply cutting him off
“And I told you; I’m getting sick and tired of your nonchalant attitude! You keep pulling all of this weird shit and I’m going to leave your ass alone for good.” She yelled.
I didn’t look up right away; my finger still hovered over the queen. I really hated losing my momentum on the physical board or in my head. But their bickering rolled right over my patience. They kept battling word for word as I tried my hardest to finish my own battle.
I grunted out my frustrations and finally looked up at them. Tone was standing there, jaw tight, trying to stare a hole in the floor instead of at Staress.Why can’t you dominate her brother?I thought as I eyed Staress leaned against my door frame like she owned the shit. Her nails tapped against the wood as she eyed him with fire in her eyes.
“Tone.” I said evenly.
“Do you see what’s in front of me right now?” I gritted out.
“It’s just a game, Kenric. I need you to talk to this bit-woman and let her know that we are not partners. She doesn’t need to check in with me every hour of the day. I have business to handle outside of?—”
I lifted my head fully then cut him off quickly.
“Chess is not just a fucking game. No. Chess is control, and patience. It’s seeing the end before the first move is even made. You have to know how to get the other side to fall without them realizing they’ve been losing the whole time.” I eyed him to see if he was listening to respond or listening to understand the importance of it.
Staress eyes flicked to the board, she stepped inside of my office bold and pissed off with Tone of course.
“Tell Tone what the queen piece mean?” She asked a little to knowingly. Her goal was to make him see her as that, sadly Tone couldn’t get over the fact that I fucked Staress when I saved her years ago.
