“H-how do you know?” I stammered over my words.
“Turn around.” He ordered out then took a seat with a pleased look on his face.
I trembled in fear as I listened to the person behind me whimper out in pain. I didn’t want to turn around, I was still stuck on him mentioning my mom, the drugs that I thought nobody knew about. Shame mixed with fear and guilt got the best of me. My heart ached as I thought about how badly I craved a quick line of cocaine right now just to escape my current cruel reality. I knew the substance alone would make me feel unstoppable. It would give me the extra boost that I desperately needed right now.
I looked up weakly at Grand, then planted my eyes back to the ground in defeat. No one called me out on my drug use because I thought that no one knew. It started when I was sixteen, not because I wanted to be reckless or cool, but because grief had a way of pulling you into places you swore, you’d never go. I was tired of going from home to home, every home I went to I had to either fight because other girls my age was mean or fight because someone tried to assault me or violate my body.
I needed my mom; I missed her terribly. I felt unwanted, unloved, and lost. Cocaine found me and made things better.Before it found me, I was looking for ways to quiet the ache inside of me that screamed louder than my thoughts. A girl at one of the many foster homes I relocated to offered it to me like a bandage.“It’ll help.”She said it like she knew what it meant to live with a hollowed-out chest. The first time I sniffed a line of it, it felt like I could finally breathe again after drowning.
It wasn’t the type of high that made a person giggle or act wild, for me it was clarity. It made everything slow down, since everything always moved so fast in my world. I didn’t become the type to use every day because I wasn’t chasing a high, I was chasing a pause button. I could go months without it, so I felt I didn’t have a problem. I kept my jobs, paid my rent and even laughed with people like shit was good. But when my depression came, and I found myself lost in darkness I’d go right back to it.
“Turn the fuck around!” His deep voice roared sharply.
I jumped hard, snapped out of my thoughts. My body moved before I could argue or think. My violin slipped slightly from my trembling grip as I turned slowly. I laid eyes on Darius, and my world began to spin. He was held up between two of Grand men like a broken doll. His arms were limp; lips were split with blood crusted at the corners of his mouth. Both of his eyes were swollen nearly shut as he looked at me with a pitiful look.
“I-I’m sooo s-s-soorrry, M-Mirrraaa!” He sobbed out before his legs tried to give out.
The men held him up and he winced out in pain. Seeing him in the state that he was in was heart breaking. His threads of clothing barely hung onto his body.
My goodness…
“Darius.” I stated his name softly and in disbelief.
His handsome face was distorted, swollen and bruised. I struggled to stand; I needed to get to him. I sat my violin down and got to my feet.
“Don’t.” Grand gritted out. His eyes dared me to move.
I froze swallowing down the painful lump that fought its way up my throat. My eyes stayed on Grand, he stood and moved deliberately towards me. His black silk shirt clung to his chest as his gold chain swayed as he approached me.
“You still love him?” He asked calmly.
I couldn’t answer, my throat burned as he stepped closer.
“You cried over him at the club when you played the violin, the night that I took you.” He bit into his bottom lip and sneered down at my short frame.
“H-he’s my everything.” I uttered out helplessly.
“Hmm.” Grand raised his thick brows.
“Then why the drugs?” he asked.
“That’s none of your fucking business.” I spat.
“You are my business?—”
“You don’t know me! I’m not shit to you! How can you judge me, when you kidnapped me in a fucking alley! You judge me for doing drugs! When you sell them!” I said the words so harshly, spit flew out of my mouth.
“Hmm.” He grunted out.
“That’s interesting…perhaps we don’t know each other well.” Realization shone in his eyes; in seconds it got replaced with darkness.
Suddenly, the front of my dress was pulled, and I was lifted off of my feet. Grand held me up by my dress, I felt cool air hit my bare ass, my legs dangled in the air. The scream that I wanted to release didn’t come out, I peed on myself as a river of tears left my swollen eyes.
“There it goes little owl, that fear that turns me the fuck on. I think you’re getting it now. So, when I put you back down to your feet, you’ll do very well not to curse and talk reckless, yeah?” He licked his lips then ran his callous free hand up my leg to my thigh smearing my piss all over his hand.
I held my breath when his hand got dangerously close to my pussy. Right now, he had access to parts of me that I didn’t let any man except for Darius touch. He pressed his body into me; I gasped, feeling his hardness poking into me like a sword. I shook my head, my thoughts quaked with resistance, but my body heated up from his touch.
“Mira, Mira…” he whispered lowly.
