“If you don’t want it I can drink two.”
Shane took the coffee, and set it on the dresser. “Thanks.”
He wasn’t sure why J.J. was here, or why he’d brought him coffee. He was one of Shane’s closest friends, but this specific situation was unusual.
“So.” J.J. leaned against a wall with his own coffee. “You seemed kind of fucked up last night. About the Ottawa plane thing.”
Shane pulled an imperfectly folded T-shirt out of his suitcase and began refolding it. “No, I wasn’t. It was just, y’know, surprising.”
He realized his shoulders were hunched, so he made an effort to relax them.
“Uh-huh,” J.J. said. “You want to tell me the truth now?”
Shane frowned at the shirt he’d just folded, then shook it out and began folding it again. Part of him wanted to tell J.J. everything. Part of himneededto tell him. Needed to tell the whole world because having to hide suddenly felt so fucking unfair. Shane wasn’t sure hecouldtell him, but he could tell himsomething. “It’s nothing. I got some texts from...from Ilya. Rozanov.”
“I know which Ilya,” J.J. said with amusement.
“He sent them when the plane was...when he thought they were going to crash.”
A heavy silence filled the room, giving Shane a moment to realize how weird that must have sounded to J.J. Ilya thought he was about to die, so he’d textedShane.
“He, um—” Shane started, but how on earth could he explain without admitting everything? “He’s—”
Shane squeezed his eyes shut. He was so fucking tired of lying. He could begrievingright now. If that plane had crashed, J.J. would be sitting in Shane’s hotel room right now watching him fall apart completely. There would have been no way Shane could have hidden his agony.
“He’s okay,” J.J. reminded him.
“I know.”
J.J. took the shirt from him before Shane could start folding it again. “Look, I know you’ve got this...thing...for Rozanov.”
Shane’s stomach dropped. “What do you mean?”
J.J. smiled sadly at him. “Why do you think I keep trying to set you up? Having a crush on a straight man is no good, buddy.”
Wait. What?
Shane was completely stunned, and needed to think fast. This was a lie he hadn’t considered hiding behind before: an unrequited crush. It madesense.
It fucking hurt, but it made sense.
“Is it obvious?” Shane sat on the bed. The misery in his voice was real, but not for the reason J.J. thought.
J.J. set his coffee on the dresser and sat on the bed next to Shane. “Sorry, buddy. I’m not saying everyone sees it, but not much gets past me, y’know?”
“Right,” Shane said, nodding fervently.
J.J. clapped a giant hand on Shane’s shoulder. “The good news is, you can dowaybetter than Rozanov.”
Shane pressed his lips together to keep from laughing.
“I get that he’s attractive, but come on. That guy is annoying as fuck.”
Shane couldn’t hold back the laughter anymore. “You’re right. I should aim higher.”
“And it’s not like you guys could date or whatever anyway. Like, it would be impossible.”
Shane stopped laughing. “I know.”
