“Yes. It was scary, but we are okay now. Everyone is okay. Maybe a little...” He waved his hand around in the air. “Shaken.”
“You can tell me if you’re not okay,” Shane said gently.
Ilya smiled tightly. “I think I am...crashing maybe. A bit.”
“Adrenaline is wearing off. Yeah, that makes sense.”
“Yes.”
“Are you...in the bar now?”
“I wanted some air, so I am outside now.”
“Youaresmoking!”
“I am enjoying the warm Florida night!” He sighed. “And also smoking a little.”
“Well,” Shane said, “I’ll allow it.”
“Great,” Ilya said flatly.
Shane laughed, which made Ilya’s heart race. What if he’d never heard Shane’s laugh again?
“Can I see you?” Shane asked. “Can we FaceTime?”
“Yes. Of course. One second.” Ilya bent to retrieve his cigarette butt, pocketed it, and started walking to the other side of the parking lot. On the way, he sent Shane a FaceTime request.
He could tell right away that Shane had been crying.
“Oh,” Ilya said softly. “Sweetheart. I am so sorry.” They didn’t use pet names very often, beyond the nonsensical Russian nouns Ilya liked to throw at Shane, but Ilya said this one with his whole heart.
Shane gave a fragile, trembling smile. “You should be.” Then he covered his mouth with his hand as his eyes filled with tears.
“I am okay,” Ilya assured him. “Still here. I should not have scared you with those texts.”
Shane only shook his head in response, mouth still hidden by his hand. Ilya hated seeing him so upset, but he loved seeing him. Loved his freckles and his little nose.
“I did mean what I wrote,” Ilya said. “All of it.”
Shane lowered his hand, cleared his throat, and said, “So a little brush with death and you turn into Mr. Poetry?”
Ilya laughed softly. “Was it too much?”
“No. Fuck you, it was beautiful. And I’m glad it wasn’t...” Shane stopped talking. Then he took a steadying breath and said, “I’m glad it wasn’t...necessary.”
Ilya’s eyes started to burn. “Yes. Me too.”
“You’re not allowed to die, Ilya. Not before I do.”
“Do you have to wineverything?”
“I have to not lose you.” His voice cracked on the last word.
“Shane,” Ilya said soothingly, “it is okay. I am okay. Is over.”
“You’re so far away,” Shane said, sniffing hard. “I want to rent a car and drive there.”
“Would be a long drive,” Ilya said with amusement, “from Washington.”
