Noah doesn’t move, doesn’t look up, doesn’t speak in response, and I know this is where I have to be right now.
Chapter 33
Noah
Whattheactualfuckwas Cole thinking calling Ollie today?
She has a career, friends, and her own life to worry about, the last thing she needs is to fuss over me.
Especially when I'm fine.
A little swelling and bruising is nothing. I had worse in basic training let alone in active duty. Hell, their mom is even here. Granted, she works at this hospital and was in fact working today but still, they’re all being a little ridiculous.
The only problem is it's hard to be mad at the girl you love when she comes running because she’s worried about you, even if she says she doesn’t trust you enough to be dating yet. It's even worse when she stands up to you for being a dick to the people trying to help you.
God damn, she was hot when she did that.
If I could’ve stood in that moment, I would have pulled her close, clutched that perfect ass in both hands and planted a kiss on her lips. Thank god I'm stuck in this chair and no one can see my arousal.
But that’s beside the point, I don’t want Ollie to see me like this. It's one thing for her to be here when I have an injury, but to be here when I'm injured, unable to walk, and spiraling back down into that same dark place I was in after Jarred. I didn’t want her to see me then, and I certainly don’t want her to see me now circling that drain.
I really need to call Doyle this week to keep me from my dark cave. Today was just too similar to Jarred. I get it Cole is fine, he is alive, but Jarred is only dead because he was trying to save all of our asses…costing him his own. The rest of our squad was able to escape the carnage of the bomb because he stayed and that’s the only image I could see today when Cole was lifting the beam off my leg except this time it was Cole. The brother of the girl I'm trying to win back and killing her brother definitely would not win me any points.
I feel weak and angry. Weak that I cannot control these emotions and that I'm having them in the first place. Weak that I wasn’t able to move the beam and get out myself. And angry. Angry at the fact I have these feelings, that Jarred’s accident has such a huge toll on my life still. Angry that Cole risked himself for me. Angry that he called Ollie. And even angrier that everything she said is true.
Even today, ten years later, she can still read me like a book and knows me the best.
Except then, that damn Dr. Armington came in and told me that I’m going to be out for the next four to six weeks and the ice broke. It feels like I fell through the ice on the lake and am now stuck under the frigid water unable to breathe. Unable to move, to break free from this overwhelming and all-consuming feeling of helplessness. What am I going to do for the next four to six weeks if I can’t work? I'm really going to spiral.
What does Ollie mean by,“I will get you home and we start getting everything set up for the next two weeks”?Like hell, I'm going to let her stay here for two weeks. I have always been the caretaker in my family, especially after my dad passed. I got Bec to and from school, to and from dance, made lunches, even got Mom out of bed on the hardest of days. Never once was someone there to take care of me, and I absolutely despise the feeling of Ollie doing that for me.
Ollie and Mrs. Bennett go with Dr. Armington to complete my discharge papers and get any post-smoke inhalation care instructions I may need. Which basically entails sucking on cough drops, resting, and avoiding any type of smoke. All of these are basically a given considering I live alone, don’t smoke, and am on crutches so it’s not like I can do anything fun that I want to do.
They fit me for a big bulky brace to wear for the first few weeks to maintain stability as I go through rehab, and for the awful crutches I think are probably a bigger risk than me just walking in the first place, but I let them remember Ollie yelling at me earlier.
“Hey, at least it's not surgery,” Cole says as I hobble out into the hall to find everyone else. I know he’s trying to lighten the mood and assure me that everything is okay but I really just want to punch him. Thankfully, I'm spending all my energy concentrating on not falling with these stupid crutches.
“Yeah,” I manage to grunt out in response.
“I'm sorry that I called her, Noah. But you need her here for this.”
I know he’s right but I'm not going to admit that.
I ride home with Ollie, Cole following close behind in his car, and Ms. Bennett remained at the hospital to catch up on some work after spending hours with me.
“Yes, Mother, I'm fine. Ollie and Cole are getting me back to the house and set up for rest and PT,” I say into my phone, almost annoyed. My mother means well and we have always been close, but since I joined the Army and now the fire department and Bec spending her winters at the ski resort helping with rescues and teaching people how to navigate the more difficult, tree-filled routes, she’s become a little overbearing. I get it, losing the love of her life absolutely broke her and I can't imagine how she would feel if something happened to either of her children but it can be a lot.
Ollie chuckles from the driver's seat, sensing my annoyance, but also gives me a disapproving look that screams,Noah, be nice to your mother she only cares about you.
“Yeah, Ollie is here. No, you cannot call her, Mom. I'm fine. Okay, Mom, we are pulling down the driveway, I’m going to hang up now. I will see you soon. Bye, Mom.” I hang up the before she even has the opportunity to respond.
“We are not pulling down your driveway,” Ollie says, glancing over to me.
I’m trying to get comfortable in the front of her tiny little sedan with this god-awful brace while keeping my leg mostly straight. I had to slide the seat as far back as it would go to fit here. They tried to get me to sit in the backseat so I could comfortably sit sideways, but I was not about to get chauffeured back to Fisher Creek. I may be injured but I'm not helpless.
Chapter 34
Olivia
