“Noah, Liv. It’s Noah.”
I can’t speak, I feel like I can’t breathe, like there are walls closing in on me.
“He’s okay, his leg is injured, and he definitely had some smoke inhalation but he is okay. We’re at the hospital with Mom right now to make sure.”
The panic is filling my body from head to toe, I'm shaking and probably shouldn’t be driving my car at this point but I'm on autopilot tearing through the parking lot on my way home to see for myself.
After an hour of driving, most of which was probably considered reckless, Ipull into the hospital parking lot, when it all hits me. I haven’t been in this hospital since Grandma died. Since my entire world shattered and I can feel it shattering all over again. The wave of emotions crashing over me.
The overwhelming feeling of helplessness as she lay in this hospital, her body finally failing her years after her mind did. The fear in knowing she was suffering, hating the state she's in but also not ready to let her go. Let her leave our family, let her leave me. The helplessness quickly turned into anger for all the same reasons I was heartbroken.
I feel my body freeze as I get out of my car, the same time I see Cole outside pacing back and forth. The moment he sees me he jogs over, engulfing me in a hug.
“Me too,” he whispers as I start to fight back tears. I wonder if this will ever get any easier. Will it ever be possible to set foot in this hospital without drowning in emotion and heartbreak?
Cole pulls away from our hug, emotions written all over his face which quickly turns into a soft smile and a laugh as he says,
“He is going to be pissed that I called you”.
“He can be as pissed as he wants. I would be here regardless,” I huff with a roll of my eyes. Noah has always made a stink when people fuss over him and will do everything in his power to avoid it.
Cole turns me toward the door, wrapping his arm around my shoulder like the amazing supportive bigbrother he is and looks at me and says, “Let's tackle this beast.”
Then we walk toward the hospital door. I have no idea if he is referring to the hospital as a whole or Noah. But either way, I can’t help but chuckle to myself as we make our way in.
Mom meets us halfway down the hallway to where the people who are admitted are. I’m confused as to why he was admitted if it “wasn’t bad.”
I start to tense up when Mom says, “Relax, it's precautionary for the smoke inhalation. They took him to get x-rays and we’re scheduling an MRI.”
My mother has worked at his hospital for as long as I can remember and is an absolutely amazing nurse. She can read the room and meet not only the patients but their families where they are to give support, but she can also give critical information without bullshitting anything. I feel my heart rate continue to race in my chest, knowing it isn’t going to calm down until I see him for myself.
“He’s being a bear of a human so just be ready for that, Liv,” she finishes.
I’ve seen Noah in one of his absolute worst moments and there’s no doubt in my mind that I can handle whatever he decides to throw at us today.
“Come one, let’s go wait in his room until he gets back,” Mom says putting her arm on my back.
Before we even get to the threshold into the room, I hear, “No. Go home, Ollie,” coming from behind me as we approach the door to his room.
Cole looks at me and whispers “He’s already kicked out every other member of the fire department.”
We step to the side of the hallway allowing the nurse to push him in his wheelchair back to the room.I give her an apologetic look, knowing full well that he has been bitching about the wheelchair since they made him use it in the first place. The poor girl just gives us a cautionary look in response.
“Thanks, Alissa,” Mom says when we all get back into the hospital room. “I can take him from here for now.”
Alissa nods politely and quickly turns to leave the room, confirming what we all knew, Noah is being a royal pain in the ass about everything.
He doesn’t even look at me before grumbling at Cole, “Why the fuck did you call her? I told you not to.”
Cole looks ashamed, defeated, and torn between his best friend and his sister and there is no way I'm lettingNoah get away with hurting him. Not today.
“Hold on. You get to be grumpy because you’re hurt and you are in pain but you do not get to yell at anyone in the room or this hospital anymore today. They’re here to help you, and by the looks of that leg, you need all the help you can get right now. So let’s retry that statement again,” I interject before this conversation gets any more out of hand.
Mom and Cole look at each other, eyes big, shocked by my interjection. I have always been the shy, quiet girl afraid of confrontation so to see me stand up big and tall to the boy, well, man now who I have followed around forever is shocking.
Instead of responding, he scowls and stares at me, waiting for me to crack but what he doesn’t know is this is my everyday life and I will not break.Mom gently elbows Cole to prompt him to leave the room and give us some privacy.
“Good luck,” Cole murmurs as he passes by mem and Mom squeezes my forearm in reassurance before leaving.
