“What’s going on, buddy?” I ask, half awake, trying to regather my surroundings.
“It’s time to eat!” Liam yells in my face. I’ve never seen a child so excited for dinner before but then I remember the rule: dinner first, and once everyone’s finished eating, we’re allowed to open presents. I was really happy to hear that we’re following typical traditions with the little ones, even though Gram isn’t here anymore.
“Okay, let's go wash up then,” I say, grabbing his hand and leading him to the bathroom down the hall.
When we make it to the dining room, I have to hide a gasp at how truly stunning the table setting is. There are beautiful poinsettias one on each side of the table. There’s a new white with dark red embroidery tablecloth, and the table is set with beautiful white places and gold placemats for each person. Mom has made a honey-glazed ham, the most delicious looking garden salad with homemade Caesar dressing, garlic mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese for the boys, and green beans. My normal spot next to Cole is open and waiting for me, with Pen waiting on the other side. The faint Christmas music in the background is the perfect touch not too loud to take away from family conversations at the table but just loud enough to be heard.
“This looks amazing, Mom,” I say as I sit down. She only smiles faintly back at me. I’ve always loved being a part of a big loud family and am extremely fortunate to be part of a family that is loving and accepting of all my weird quirks no matter what.
The back door opens and a giant gust of air comes in, chilling the room. As the door closes behind Carter, we can tell he must’ve been out with some friends based on the smell of cigars and beer. His seat is on the other side of Cole, next to Grandpa so he has to squeeze past me to get there, and as he does, he places two frigid hands on my shoulders giving them a big squeeze and shake.
“Hey, look who decided to actually join us for a meal,” he says. Carter has always been the brother who gives me the most shit, which also means we are the two who fight often.
“Caught up with some friends I haven’t seen in a while before heading back to the city,” I reply as nonchalantly as possible.
If Carter knew I was with Noah it would go one of two ways. He’ll either be extremely supportive or he’ll tell everyone he’s going to beat up Noah for hitting on his sister again. They never got into actual fights as kids, but I know it was a common statement made between them. Noah would usually reply with some childish banter about having to be able to catch him, or that he would like to see him try. But after everything, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was serious.
“Friends, huh?” he replies with one corner of his mouth starting to lift. Cole elbows him in the side, and I just continue to scoop myself a bowl of salad. “I heard today that you’ve been with Noah all this time,” he continues.
You can hear a freaking pin drop, it’s so quiet. Everyone’s stopped what they’re doing and are just staring between the two of us to see what comes next. Mom's face paled with disbelief.
I guess this is probably the first real interaction Carter and I have had since I’ve been home. While Carter and I love each other we were the fighters of the family, especially with each other. We would play a game as children to see who could push the other's buttons the most, clearly Carter never got the memo the game was over.
I could let him embarrass me, or I could just tell him the truth. Tell them all the truth. I still have feelings for Noah. I haven’t even said those words out loud to myself yet, so I would prefer if they weren’t dragged out of me by my annoying brother.
Nope. Not ready for that explanation and who even knows if it's going to work?
“Wow, Carter, I'm so glad you understand friendship finally,” I retaliate back quickly. “Noah’s retiring from the Army and is home for good,” I finish.
Carter’s smirk fades off his face, meaning I’ve won this round but not without further interrogation from Mom.
“He’s staying home?” Mom asks with hesitation in her voice. Thankfully, silence can only last so long with two small children clanking their silverware on their plates.
“Correct,” I reply, looking down at my plate.
“And how do you feel about it?” Mom asks hesitantly. She’s always been one to advocate for us to talk about our feelings, thoughts, and everything going on in our lives. Which is great, except when you haven’t decided how you feel yet and don’t want to tell them the entirety of the story. She knows the majority of the story and how I handled it so I'm not surprised by her concern but I also just want this conversation to be over.
“Fine, we’ve been friends forever, it will be nice to be able to catch up now and again,” I say as I spread butter on a piece of homemade bread. “Let’s eat some food so these boys can open family presents before Santa comes.”
Everyone begins eating, and I feel a hand on my leg. Penelope’s attempting to comfort me. She can tell I'm anxious as my leg continues to bounce. She’d normally yell at me to sit still, but instead she whispers into my ear, “Tell me all about it later,” realizing something has changed since we set the rules.
I spent so much time with the boys today that I forgot to text Noah back. I start patting my pockets, quietly looking for my phone, and can't find it anywhere.
I'll have to find it after dinner, to text Noah back, preferably before Carter gets to him or we become more of the town gossip.
Chapter 20
Olivia
Iwakeuptothesound of little feet pitter-pattering down the hallway and stairs onto the main floor of the house. The smell of freshly made cinnamon buns fills the air, along with the smell of bacon. It's Christmas morning in the Bennett household and that means a big family breakfast full of everyone’s favorites. I swear my mother doesn’t even sleep ever during the holidays. How she has the time to get all of this done and still look immaculate is beyond me.
I roll over, grab my phone, and begin my mindless morning scrolling through social media when Noah’s text banner comes across the top screen of my phone.
Noah: Merry Christmas, Ollie! Let's plan something before you head back to Milwaukee!
I can’t help but smile at my phone with excitement to begin this adventure. But also just spending time with Noah takes me out of my rain cloud. Although, my rain cloud has quickly turned stormy when the car service reminder pops up on my phone.
I leave tomorrow morning to return to Milwaukee and need to get the car serviced before going back to work the following day. There is no way I’ll have time to see him before I leave. My shoulders begin to sag as I respond.
