Yes, I already knew Marc Mendez was gay. My mind flashed with intimate images of him—how his eyes screwed shut as deep tremors of pleasure rippled through his body. Those soft grunts and gasps he made as he shot his load all over his hands.
A nervous twinge knotted in my stomach, the vivid memories almost paralyzing me.
This was so wrong. Magic Marco wasn’t some nameless internet stranger to me anymore. He was the parent of mystudent, and that made me no better than some perverted voyeur peeking inside his bedroom. If Marc Mendez would be interested in someone like me, how could I possibly pursue a relationship with someone when I held such intimate knowledge of their private life—and kept that from him?
This secret gnawed at me, but I could never tell anyone this—not even Stella, my closest friend.
“Oh, please,” she continued, leaning back in her chair, her arms crossed over her chest. “I see the way you look at him, Kenny. You’re as smitten as the rest of us.”
Heat crept up my neck, spreading across my face like wildfire, and I suddenly found my sloppy joe incredibly fascinating. “I am not smitten,” I muttered, picking at the bread with my fork. “He’s just…interesting, that’s all.”
Stella snorted, unconvinced.
I sighed, setting down my sandwich and meeting her gaze, my eyes pleading for understanding. “Look, if I were interested—which I’m not saying I am—it wouldn’t matter. He’s Mia’s dad, Stella. That’s a line I can’t cross.” My voice was firm, but that longing tugged at my heart, the ache of wanting something just out of my reach.
Stella’s eyes softened, the mischief fading into concern, replaced by a gentle warmth. She reached across the table to pat my hand. “I know, I know. I’m teasing you, Ken. But for what it’s worth, I think you two would be cute together.” Stella’s grin widened. “I’ve seen how he looks at you too, Ken, in the pickup line. He’s interested, if you ask me.”
I shook my head, my stomach churning with a mix of excitement and dread. “No, Stella, it’s not like that. He’s a parent, for God’s sake. And the way people in this town gossip? Can you imagine if people found out I was seeing one of my student’s dads?” My voice was low, barely above a whisper.
If we were straight, there might be some grace at least, some tender nods at the Hallmark movie-ness of it all.
But two men? Absolutely not.
The weight of Stella’s gaze pressed heavily on me, the sympathy and understanding radiating from her like a physical force. She clasped my hand, her touch gentle but firm, anchoring me in the moment. “I get that it’s tough, being gay in a place like this. But you can’t let that stop you from finding happiness. If you and Marc have a connection, you owe it to yourself to explore that. It’s hard enough to find anyone fun and open-minded in this town, but even harder for you.” She returned to her meal. “Mia won’t be your student forever.”
Marc’s smile lingered in my mind, the way his eyes fixed on mine each day at the pickup line.
Was Stella right?
Was I letting my fear and insecurities hold me back from something that might be truly special?
“Oh hey, that reminds me.” Stella dug into her purse and pulled out two small rainbow desk flags, each of them about nine inches tall. She handed one to me with a wide grin. “I picked these up last time I went to the city. One for me and one for you.”
I took the flag and waved it in front of her with a grin. It was a small gesture, but it meant more than I could express. “It’s cute. Thanks.” I wasn’t sure if having a pride flag in my classroom was a good idea—I could almost see the face of my father, his eyes rolling in the back of his head in embarrassment.“Y’all don’t need to rub everyone’s face in it, Kendall,”was one of his favorite lines anytime anything remotely queer entered his sphere and disturbed his perfectly hetero-normative lifestyle.
The memory of those words, dripping with disdain, still stung even now, when we didn’t even talk that often. I guess no matter how much time passed, I still craved some sense of validation from him.
But I appreciated Stella’s gift. It meant a lot to have friends around that cared about me.
As Stella and I continued our discussion, I unconsciously glanced back toward the cafeteria, my gaze drawn to the table where Marc and Mia sat. I could already hear the whispers and snickers of the town gossips if they ever caught wind of my crush on Marc—the handsome, divorced GAY father of one of my students.
And God forbid if they discovered his website.
It was the kind of salacious, life-changing scandal that would have tongues wagging for months.
Then again… maybe Stella was right. Maybe it was time to take a chance, to let myself dream of a future where I wasn’t alone, where I had someone to share my life with.
Fuck, I wasn’t sure what to think. “So, have you heard anything about the funding for the art supplies we requested?” I asked, steering the conversation away from Marc Mendez and my befuddled thoughts.
“Last I heard, Mrs. Hawkins was going to ask the PTA for help,” Stella answered, her tone measured and even, her eyes softening with understanding. She was taking the bait, moving on from the topic of Marc.
“Good, those kids deserve some creative outlets.” I shifted in my seat, trying to project an air of nonchalance. As we continued discussing the various happenings at Blanco Springs Elementary, I tried to bury my growing feelings for Marc beneath layers of professionalism and friendly banter.
But every mention of Marc’s name made my stomach flutter, making it increasingly difficult to keep my secret—and Marc’s—from spilling out into the open.
Chapter Four
Marc
