“That was—” I pressed my fingers to my kiss-swollen lips. “A mistake.”
“And just now?”
“You asked permission. Last night…” I just couldn’t continue. Instead, I let the words hang in the air.
“I promise you—like cross my heart and hope to die if I lie—that I welcomed that kiss. I could’ve saidno. I could’ve pushed you off. I could’ve asked you to back off. You’ll note I did none of those things. Instead, I took full advantage. And, given half a chance, I would’ve dragged you off to a secluded alley and blown you right then. But you ran before I had a chance to say any of that. To do anything about my body’s reaction to being near you.”
My body’s reaction…Was that all this was? Two guys with an itch to scratch? Because, in some ways, we had nothing in common. The age gap, the differences in our education, our passions… On the other hand, we had activism in common. Even if he went about it all wrong, a small part of him must’ve believed in our cause. We weren’t the highest profile. We didn’t have the largest budget. Our niche was challenging regulations and bylaws. Zoning issues and respecting treaty rights. Those weren’t sexy issues.
And yet he was here.
He stepped toward me and, after clearly telegraphing his movement, he raised his hand to press to my forehead. “What are you thinking? Given your frown, it can’t be good. Do you think you can let go of some of that vigilance? Enough so I can bring you pleasure? Because you’re wound so tight—”
I lunged toward him and fused our mouths together again.
He saw me. He really saw me. Not just the lawyer trying to run a nonprofit. Not just the guy who always rained on his parade. No, he saw me for who I was. He might not know the extent of my loneliness—but he understood it. Even without words, he communicated his comprehension of my complicated life.
This time, I wrapped my arms around his neck and dragged him closer. I fused our mouths, and when he thrust his tongue into my mouth, I welcomed it. I didn’t need to fight for dominance. Last night had been both an expression of desire and, to my shame, anger. Today was all about lust. About getting all I could get. I wanted more…but I didn’t know how to ask. My last boyfriend had always figured things out. We’d been…boring. And that had been okay. I’d needed stability. Routine.
Now? Malik Forestal had thrown my orderly world into chaos, and I almost couldn’t regret that.
He pulled back and gazed up at me with lust-filled eyes. “You’ll let me blow you?”
“Yeah.”
“Just so you know—I don’t expect reciprocity. Whatever you’re comfortable with. This is about putting you at ease.”
“I think…maybe if I sit on the couch? I’m worried about your knees.”
He snickered. “No worries on that count. Young and strong.”
Which, for just half a moment, had me remembering that although I might be strong—in some senses—I wasn’t younganymore. Forty wasn’t over the hill…but I preferred not to kneel for extended periods of time.
He brushed his cheek against mine. “Whatever makes you most relaxed. I just want your cock inside my mouth as fast as humanly possible.”
I cleared my throat. “Yeah, me too.” Sort of came out as a croak. “But I have to lock the door. I’ll do the outer one—no one has a key except Bonnie. If anyone wants in, they’ll have to ring the bell.”
“Sounds good.” He snagged his glass of water, that sat unattended on my desk, and took a long drink. “Hurry back.” He winked.
On that note, I hustled through the front office, locked the front door, and headed back to my office.
The doorbell was loud enough to be heard just about everywhere in the old house, so I didn’t worry about closing my office door—that added a layer of privacy.
When I returned, Malik was closing the blinds. “Those clouds are brutal, but no rain yet.”
“It’s coming.”
He met my gaze. “Yeah, it is. Your head?”
“I took my pills.”
“Let me know if you need to take more. Let me know if you need me to stop. And, most importantly, let me know what I can do to make you feel good.”
“Uh…just about anything?” I had no idea of his level of experience. As a bad-boy rock star, probably a lot. But that was a newer persona. As a violinist with the symphony? Perhaps not as much.Why are you thinking about his previous partners? For fuck’s sake, he’ll tell you what he is and is not comfortable doing.Point well made. I snagged a soft blanket and put it over the rather expensive leather—a relic from Maude’s days. Thecouch, if I continued to treat it well, would last for decades. That said, the thing wasn’t nice to bare skin on sticky, humid days.
Malik chuckled. “To contain the mess? Don’t worry—I swallow.”
I gulped. “I was thinking more of my bare ass on the leather.”
