I know what’s coming, but I still don’t understand what I’m meant to be learning. It’s not like watching myself fuck Caleb is going to be some kind of punishment. More like extra material for the spank bank. A blast from the past. Literally.
I climb from the dirt to my feet and brush my gritty hands on my jeans. Candy wrappers, stale popcorn, and a used condom litter the ground. We weren’t the first to fuck under these bleachers, and we surely weren’t the last.
“Hello again, Max.” Caleb’s voice, behind me, deeper and more mature.
I spin. It’s him, but he’s grown. Both of us are adults now, and he’s not what I expected. I thought I’d see little Caleb. Skinny Caleb with wide eyes, kind words, and an appeasing smile.
This Caleb has turned outfine. Hot, even. He’s still lean, but a distinct ripple of muscle flexes beneath the green Henley stretched tight across his pecs. The shaggy blond hair is fuller now, kept neat. It looks soft, unlike his expression. Gone is the appeasing smile, replaced with a scowl, cold eyes, and arched brows.
“What have we here?” He paces around me, devouring me with his gaze. “You grew up big, Max. That’s not surprising. Something tells me you never got any nicer, though, did you?” He pauses, but a reply fails to come to me. “Well? Have anything to say for yourself?”
About what? Is he fishing for an apology? I don’t owe Caleb Wilkerson anything of the sort. Bogey said I’d be visiting men who I’d wronged, but I didn’t do anything to Caleb he wasn’t begging me for, so I’m at a loss. Whatever justice he’s about to dole out, it can’t be that bad. I can take it.
He cocks his head. “Not even going to say hello?”
“Hello, Caleb.” I give him a good long once-over, head to toe and back again for good measure. Yeah, I’ll take it. I smirk. “Back for more?”
He scoffs. “As if I’d want anything to do with you. No. I’m here to teach you a lesson. One you sorely need.” He points to the soiled ground beneath our feet. “Get on your knees.”
I clench my jaw. No fucking way am I submitting to this dweeb. I’m not sure what he’s thinking, but I’m Max Masters Scrooge, and I bend to no—
“Kneel.” The word is spoken in a regular tone, yet the power behind it is like a command from on high by a throned god.
I lose control of my body. My knees buckle and hit the dirt. I wince. Pain lances from the impact, stinging and raw. What the fuck?
“You know what else?” Caleb’s arrogant sneer is foreign—like a stranger has taken over his face. “I want you naked.”
A split second later, my clothes vanish into thin air, leaving me nude. Shivering, I resist the urge to try to cover myself with my hands. It’ll only look stupid and accomplish nothing.
I search my surroundings for the bogeyman, for some explanation, for a stop to this madness. But I’m alone with Caleb, and apparently, he has all the power. Fear rattles my nerves, making me hot. My palms sweat.
Caleb saunters close, hips loose, one hand migrating down his chest to the bulge of his dick. “Starting to understand yet, Max?”
I’m really not. This isn’t Caleb. Caleb was a nice boy. “What are you doing?”
He taps his fingers against the zipper of his jeans. “I haven’t decided, but in short, whatever I want.”
That doesn’t make me feel any better. “I don’t understand. Why are you angry with me? We had some good times.”
“Youhad some good times. What I had was a lie, some bruises, and a shitty lost-my-virginity story for the rest of my life.”
I shake my head. That can’t be true. I wouldn’t… “What?”
“Let me refresh your memory.” A wave of Caleb’s hand brings an old memory to life, except instead of participating, I’m back to observing.
Young Max and young Caleb, under these same bleachers a decade ago, giggling hushed voices, gazes darting around to be sure we were alone. Hands in each other’s pants. Caleb’s startled expression when I pull a condom from my pocket. We’d never gone all the way before, but we were ready. We were excited.
Except Caleb’s expression is hesitant. He looks worried, biting his lower lip and frowning. That’s not what I remember. I thought he was into it.
“Max, let me use my mouth,” he says, but I’m already ripping open the shiny gold foil packet with my teeth. “I like sucking you off.”
Grown Caleb’s voice cuts through the vision. “You saw only what you wanted to see, not what was really happening. It was easy for you, wasn’t it? To ignore my requests, to run roughshod over my body, to make sure when I thought back on my first time, it wouldn’t be a pleasant memory like yours but a painful one. One I regret to this day.”
Surely, it wasn’t that bad! He never said no. I’d have stopped if he said no!
I glance from an angry older Caleb to a fearful younger one. He lets me manhandle him, disrobe him under the cover of darkness, and fondle him in a half-assed version of prepping him to take me. I had no idea what I was doing back then.
My stomach drops, gut heavy as I watch my overeager self greedily pursuing what I thought we both wanted. But Caleb doesn’t want this. He’s allowing it, sure, but he’s not happy. I’m not making him happy.
