Page 31 of Mister Contingency


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Noah has this quiet confidence; he’s not only a good kid, he’s sweet, and has a generous nature. Too generous. The couple of girlfriends he’s had have completely walked all over him because he just can’t be an asshole. I really don’t want Juliette to reject him, break his heart and leave him moping around. He’s an adult, I get it, but he’s still my little brother.

Me

Just don’t get in too deep. Like you said, it was one hot night

Noah

Never listen to anything I say. Speaking of which, how did soccer go?

Me

What do you mean by soccer?

Noah

A cute as a button baker named Chelsea

Me

I’m gonna blame Dad for this

Noah

For what?

Me

Us being hopeless romantics. It’s not all it’s cut out to be

Noah

I think you should go for it with her. She’s awesome

Me

And if we fuck it up?

Noah

You won’t. You make a pact to always be friends, no matter what. I always knew you’d get together eventually

Me

You did not

Noah

You can’t keep birds of a feather apart

I chuckle to myself.

Me

Go to sleep. It’s late. I’ll see you at the office

Noah

Sweet dreams, lover boy