‘You know, as soon as you get your new promotion signed off, I’m going to get those builders in I told you about,’ added Sofia.‘You know, the ones Amanda and Nick used. Then we can have a proper room – open it up into the conservatory with space for a decent table and have trifold doors which open on to the garden. Can you just imagine how wonderfulnextChristmas will be with all that room?’
‘But Amanda and Nick’s extension is enormous,’ replied Adam. ‘It cost them almost a hundred thousand pounds – nearly double what they’d first planned. Nick told me at the gym how ridiculous it was.’
‘He’s exaggerating,’ replied Sofia. ‘Because he didn’t agree with the specification of fittings Amanda wanted.’
‘I don’t think he particularly liked them either.’
‘Yes, but everyone knows that’s not the point. Nick’s taste is far too bohemian; most people run a mile at that kind of thing. Keeping everything classic and neutral is absolutely the way to go if you want to get your money back. And you only have to look at their place to know that the increase in the value of their house alone has made the alterations pay for themselves. And the same would be true here. You can’t scrimp on quality fittings, not if you want to make a proper investment.’
Henry would have dearly loved to escape to the safety of the living room, but it was too late for that. They were both looking at him for comment.
‘It’s always struck me as a little odd that people go to such pains to improve the resale value of their houses,’ he said. ‘Isn’t it better to decorate a house the wayyouwant it? And then enjoy living there? Not worry about the people who are going to live thereafteryou.’
Sofia rolled her eyes. ‘But that’s so short-sighted. I mean, how long does anyone realistically stay in a house like this, for example? You’ve always got to have an eye on the value you add to a property. That’s the bedrock of my business, so I should know.’
Henry’s opinion was evidently not required. He shrugged. ‘It was just an observation. And your house is lovely. Surely it’s plenty big enough without going through all that added expense?’
‘Except that it’s not big enough, is it? If it was we wouldn’t be faced with this ridiculous situation.’
‘I can see what Dad’s getting at though, Sofe. Being realistic, how many times a year do we need this room to be any bigger? It’s only really at Christmas, and it seems daft to spend a whole heap of money on something we don’t need ninety-nine per cent of the time. And the new job doesn’t come with much more money, don’t forget. I’m not sure it’s enough to?—’
‘Well, maybe it isn’t a new job title you need then, but a new school instead.’ Irritation flickered across Sofia’s face. For one thing, Henry knew she hated being called Sofe, but what was worse was that she hated being thwarted in her plans. He felt a horrible pang of sympathy for his son’s situation.
‘It isn’t all about money though, is it?’ said Henry.
As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he knew he’d said the wrong thing. Adam might understand the point he was making, but he’d never admit to it, not in front of Sofia anyway.
‘Isn’t it?’ said Adam. ‘We don’t all want to settle for mediocre. Some of us want better for our lives.’
Henry clamped his mouth shut. He was very aware that Adam was stressed – the front of his hair looked as agitated as his face did, and Henry wondered if he knew how many times he ran his hand through it. Even so, his words were harsh, completely unfounded, and he was getting tired of his son’s disparaging comments.
‘There’s nothing wrong with having aspirations,’ he replied, trying to keep his voice mild. ‘But you also seem determined not to understand the point I was trying to make, which is that going after a promotion is great if it’s what you truly want, but not if itcomes at the expense of your happiness. And from what you’ve told me about the situation at your school, I can’t see how you can possibly be anything other than overworked and stressed.’
‘Yes, but sometimes you have to make compromises if you want to get ahead. Put in the effort.’
‘Get ahead to where, Adam? What’s wrong with what you have now? You have a good job, and a beautiful home, and?—’
‘And what about children, Henry?’ put in Sofia, glaring at him. ‘What then?’
‘It’s always tough, but you’d manage…Yes, you’d have to make changes to your life, sacrifices, too, but they’d be worth it. It doesn’t matter if you have to make do for a few years. Being a parent comes first.’
‘Hah!’
Maybe he didn’t mean it to sound so derogatory, but Adam’s derision echoed around the room loud and clear. And it hurt. All Henry had ever done was provide for his son to the best of his ability, both physically and emotionally. And all he was trying to do now was protect him. Maybe he’d overdone it and sounded too preachy, but if Adam found it hard to stand up to his wife’s forceful personality then who could blame Henry for wanting to provide a little ballast? The fact that Adam could reject his help, rejecthim, was hard to bear. Henry had held his tongue ever since the divorce, but this was a conversation which was long overdue. And Christmas or not, it was time to have it. He was sick of being made to feel like a failure.
‘You might find this hard to believe, but your mother was not right about everything. And over the years she’s filled your head with a version of events, a version of me, which you’ve never thought to question, instead swallowing her opinions wholesale.’ He held up his hand. ‘I had hoped you’d understand that there are two people in every marriage who share anequalresponsibility for it. I don’t know the ins and outs of yours andSofia’s marriage, neither would I want to, but if it went pear-shaped I’d like to think I’d be supportive, not judgemental.’
‘Of course you’d be judgemental,’ replied Adam. ‘Everyone is. There are always two sides, and inevitably you have to pick one.’
‘You can be led down that path, yes, or you can be encouraged to be accepting of a situation without apportioning blame. It’s very clear which side you’ve been encouraged to pick, and I find that odd given that your mother has moved to the other side of the world and you hardly see her.’
‘I hardly seeyou.’
It was on the tip of Henry’s tongue to sayis it any wonder, but he held the words back.
‘But youdosee me. And the point still stands – I have never discussed with you the part either of us had to play in the break-up of our marriage, even though your mother clearly hasn’t afforded me the same courtesy. And the reason I know this is because I’ve seen your behaviour towards me change over the last few years. To the point where you reject everything in your life which you believe me to be guilty of, everything she accused me of. Nothing is ever good enough for you now. Everything has to be striven for, in a relentless quest to move even higher and further. She accused me of being complacent, Adam, but this is the part where you need to stop swallowing what you’ve been told and start thinking about whether you agree with it or not. Therearetwo sides to every story, and what your mother saw as complacency, I see as contentment and happiness.
‘I also understand the value of the word “enough”. And Ihadenough in my life – I still do. I have a house which is comfortable and keeps me safe and warm. I have enough money to live the way I want to, and I have a job which I love. And the reason why I love it is because I’m doing what I’m good at. Your mother wanted me to try for promotion, to earn more money, take on more responsibility. But you know why I didn’t? Because itwould have taken me out of the classroom, away from everything I loved. I’d be a rubbish manager, so why on earth would I want to swap what made me happy for something which didn’t?’
