He shook his head, and his uncommonly unkempt curls flopped to one side. “I have given you every reason to doubt me, but let me show you that the dreams we once had can still come true. Walk with me tomorrow in the garden.”
He was offering me everything I’d always thought I wanted, only I didn’t want it anymore. I touched Mama’s ring on my finger and shifted my gaze to the window bench. Mama had known both Damon and Ollie, and she had wanted Ollie for me. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I’d fallen in love with Damon, and it could not be undone.
“Hanny?” Ollie said softly.
I met his hopeful gaze and was overcome with guilt. “I don’t wish to hurt you, Ollie, but I see now that my affection for you was naive. A childhood dream. But we have grown up and grown apart. We do not even know each other anymore.”
“That is entirely my fault,” he said. “I have been blind and selfish. But please don’t give up on me.”
His words tugged at me, but after the experiences I’d shared with Damon this summer, I would never be the same. My heart had bloomed like a rose, and it could never again be a bud.
“I will walk with you tomorrow, but I can only offer you friendship.”
“I understand,” he said in a low voice, nodding. “I do, and I will walk with you tomorrow only as friends. But, Hannah, I do hope that rekindling our friendship will eventually lead to more.”
I shook my head, but he rose before I could say more. And with a polite bow, he quit the room, leaving me alone to sort my feelings.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
The next morning, I stayedin my room until I saw Damon ride out on Ares. It was a cowardly thing to sit in my window seat, waiting for him to leave. And I could not avoid him forever, but I was not ready to face him yet.
Ollie was already in the breakfast room, readingTheMorning Postwhen I entered. He smiled and stood. “Good morning, Hannah. You look lovely this morning. I trust you slept well?”
“I did. Thank you.” I walked to an empty chair across from Ollie and sat.
Ollie remained standing. “May I serve you something to eat?”
I nodded, and he filled my plate with an assortment of fruit, breads, and breakfast meats, then sat and resumed his newspaper.
I tried to content myself with eating in silence, but I could not help frowning at the black and white text between us. And when he turned the page, he saw as much.
“I am being a rather dull breakfast companion, aren’t I?”
“Hmm,” I said between bites.
He moved to set the newspaper aside, and I almost let him. But how were we ever to regain our friendship if I did not act as my true self? “Actually, I don’t mind if you read at the table. I only dislike being excluded.”
His brow twitched, as if he hadn’t the faintest idea what I meant. “Would you like me to tell you about what I am reading?”
“No.” I shook my head. “I should like to read with you.”
“You want to read thePost?” His face scrunched as if a woman wanting to read the newspaper was absurd. But when I nodded, he quickly smoothed the expression. “All right. I am sure there is a section that would appeal to you in here somewhere. A fashion column perhaps.”
“I’m sure I would be happy to readanycolumn,” I said as he flipped through the pages.
“Ah. Here we are.” He handed me the fashion section, and I stifled a sigh. He did not understand me. At least not yet. But today was about progress, not perfection. And although I didn’t prefer to read the fashion columns, his willingness to let me read with him was a start and something we could build upon.
After we finished eating, Ollie and I parted for the remainder of the morning with a promise to meet later before luncheon for our walk. I passed the morning by reading a book, and at midday, Nora helped me change into a day dress, pale-green pelisse, and simply trimmed bonnet.
When at last it was time for our walk, I met Ollie downstairs. He wore a finely cut jacket and stylish top hat. His hair had gotten a bit longer since the beginning of summer, and a few of his dark-blond curls peeked boyishly out the sides. And in his hands, he held a blanket and a basket.
“What’s this?” I asked.
“Only a small picnic, which I had Cook prepare. Nothing elegant, mind you, only a few finger sandwiches and pieces of fruit. I thought we could walk to the river and enjoy a meal on the bank like old times.”
I felt a bit wary after the last picnic he’d planned for us, but I pushed past the feeling with a smile. “That sounds nice.”
He held the door open for me as we walked outside. After descending the steps, we continued across the great lawn and past the stableyard toward the meadow. I hadn’t noticed it earlier, but heavy gray clouds gathered in the distance.
