“Maybe I just wanted to see if I could make you smile.”
Dr. Conti was already gone. Dr. Warren gave Rose a brief handshake before leaving. “I know you won’t let us down, Rose,” she whispered pointedly.
Rose gathered her papers and walked out. I fell into step beside her. The hallway seemed brighter now, though I knew it was just the fluorescent lights. Out in the crowded hallway, in front of the vending machine, Rose leaned up and kissed mycheek. Even in perhaps one of the most unromantic, unsexy environments ever, it was the best kiss of my life.
“Thank you, Hound,” she whispered before walking away. She didn’t look over her shoulder once.
Chapter 39: The Hound—Guard dog
My Zahra was gone. She had been so grateful to me for helping seal her records, but that didn’t give me a free pass. I don’t think she was angry anymore. She was just moving on, which hurt just as much. But me ... I didn’t move on. I couldn’t move on. I continued to stalk her. I sat outside her building, taking easy jobs like good ol’ cheating Mr. Harrod, who freely flaunted his infidelity and therefore took only five minutes of my day. The way the man carried on out in the open could get him charged for public indecency.
My Rose continued to bloom. Her stride was confident, her smile genuine, and her beauty radiant. She continued to jog and was socializing a lot more than she ever did before. Gloria joined her on some of her jogs, but appeared to be a reluctant exercise partner, frequently stopping to point out bars and cafes. Each time, Rose would laugh and grab her arm to drag her back on course.
Glenn Maxwell was no longer the super. I eventually ran his background check, determined to remove any weeds in my Rose’s garden, and it turns out that Glenn was a highly noxious weed. His criminal background didn’t involve any sexual crimes but was violent and dark enough to warrant his removal by the building owner. The new super was a no-nonsense woman in her 30s who seemed capable and efficient. Within a day of starting the job, she had fixed the front door and the fob system. Unlike pervert Glenn, she was a resident and seemed to care about the state of the building.
Once Rose’s building was secure, I set my sights on the other threats in her life. Loretta was out on bond, unlikely to face any real time, so she definitely needed some kind of silencing. It wasn’t hard. She frequented seedy establishments, which mostly had “broken” cameras, if any cameras at all. A completelygenuine threat in a dark parking lot was all it took to see real fear in her eyes. Yes. I was unhinged and she could see that. Like recognizes like. I had no moral boundaries when it came to Rose. A few weeks after our meeting, she moved three states away. It wasn’t far enough for me, but she knew I’d be watching. I’d always be watching.
I continued to send gifts to Rose. Her panties had been stolen, and we were no longer on good enough terms for me to send her more underwear. Instead, I sent her shorty pajamas with a rose print. She was still my Rose, even if I couldn’t be her Hound. She would always be my Rose ... my Zahra.
Brett tried to cheer me up but eventually surrendered to the reality that I was beyond help. He even accepted that I was stalking her, seeing that I’d never hurt her. I was just an interested party.
Seeing Rose bloom gave me true happiness, but I knew I’d probably never feel her warmth in my life. I’d watch her thrive from the sidelines, never able to inhale her scent or touch her petal-soft skin. Some actions can’t be taken back, but we can atone for them. Rose taught me that, and it was a lesson I had to learn eventually.
I packed up my desk after work, ready to take my usual place outside Rose’s building. My days there were numbered. The highly competent super had noticed me there and had begun giving me suspicious looks. Last night, she snapped a photo of my car. That damned super was a mixed blessing. I trudged to my car, pondering how I could “watch” Rose after the super pushed me out of my usual spot. A flash of red caught my eye. My entire windscreen was covered in art. Well, I guess it was supposed to be art. Instead, it was a badly drawn bloodhound. The ears were too short, and the legs too long, but I could see the intent. It was drawn in what looked like window chalk. My little vandal was thoughtful enough to put a pack of glass wipes onthe bonnet. I smiled. My smile grew and grew as I realized what this meant. I had a stalker. A stalker who called me the Hound. The driver’s window also had a crude drawing on it. A rose in full bloom. How could she ever expect me to wipe these terrible drawings off my car? She really was a truly awful artist. I hoped whatever tattoo she got that day was drawn by the artist, not her. But her art was the most beautiful I’d ever seen in my life.
I photographed the work from every possible angle before I wiped it off. As much as I wanted to leave the pictures there, I had to be able to see through my window so I could drive to see my Zahra. I sat in the car, looking through the clear window. No, I couldn’t just show up. We were back to our little game, and I wouldn’t waste this opportunity.
I headed off in the direction of the mall. Surely they did engravings on the spot.
Chapter 40: The Rose—Love languages
Gloria and I clinked our glasses together. I’d begun to have a few drinks every now and then. Dr. Warren assured me that interaction with my medication was highly unlikely but urged me to exercise caution and to avoid any excessive drinking. A few sparkling wines wouldn’t hurt me, and as much as Gloria was a party girl, she knew my limitations and supported me in respecting them.
Today had been enlightening. I’d finished my Certificate I in Library Studies and decided to complete Certificate II in the hope that it would give me greater potential to land a role as a children’s librarian. My record was sealed, a miracle according to Mara, and nothing would hold me back. I was in no rush. I enjoyed my job and had a great relationship with my colleagues, so another three months of study would be good for me. Maybe one day, I’d tackle a diploma.
“To your man,” Gloria said seriously, holding up her glass. “He’s not my man,” I replied hastily. “Not yet,” she smirked.
When I approached Pete, the very casual receptionist at the learning center, about accessing another government grant for my next certificate, he appeared flustered. With very little cajoling, he told me my “boyfriend” had paid. When pushed on the description of my “boyfriend,” he described Ace perfectly. For a man with very little interest in his job, he’d certainly taken a great deal of notice of Ace. My Hound. He’d paid and not asked for any credit. Gloria and I had painstakingly gone through my entire relationship with Hound, and she’d declared him one of the good ones. He helped me, even behind the scenes when he stood nothing to gain from it. He was the only person in my adult life to ever care for me so unconditionally.
I wasn’t walking away from him as punishment, or even as a gesture of righteousness. I honestly thought I needed a freshstart, a way to be the best I could be. But with Ace in my corner, I could be even better. Even happier. So like teen girls, Gloria and I had bought window markers and I’d decorated Ace's car. “Anonymous” gestures were our thing, and while I was a reformed stalker, I definitely seemed to have a kink for consensual, mutual stalking. I was anticipating his next move when I heard a voice behind me.
“Hello ladies. Would it be okay if I bought you a drink?”
Ace stood behind us, looming over our small table. Gloria looked at me and raised one eyebrow suggestively.
“Not me, I’m out. Meeting someone else,” she said. “Oh, and I don’t even want to know how you knew we were here.” She directed the last part to Ace. “Bye Gloria, who works at the juice bottling plant and has a younger brother,” he said with a little wave. She laughed and walked out of the bar, chuckling even as she left.
“Hi, my name is Ace, but you can call me Hound,” he said, offering his hand.
“Hi Ace, my name is Rose. I should warn you, I jumped out of the bushes once at a man while wearing nothing and wielding a chain.”
His smile widened. “Leave the chain out of it and you’ve just unlocked a new fantasy for me.”
He sat in Gloria’s abandoned chair and flagged down a waiter to order his customary whiskey. My drink was still half full. He pulled out a medium-sized velvet box. “I know we just met each other, but I got you a gift,” he said in a deep voice, pushing the box toward me.
How exciting! A face-to-face gift. I opened the box and saw the most beautiful pendant ever. It was silver, and the oval disc had a raised silver rose on it. “Look at the back,” Hound urged. I turned the pendant over and readProperty of the Hound. Is this what happiness felt like? What being truly wanted feltlike? I belonged to someone, and he belonged to me. We knew each other’s dark sides and were still all in. I immediately felt inadequate. I vandalized his car, and he bought me beautiful jewelry. I said as much as I unclasped the necklace and went to place it around my neck. It felt heavy. Too heavy.
“I'll do it,” he offered. “It’s kind of heavy. Let’s just say that I now have an extra set of eyes on you.” My handsome stalker was tracking me through a necklace. Maybe the psychiatrists shouldn’t have advocated for me during court because this was the opposite of a red flag to me. It was green. Greener than green. I was messed up in the healthiest way possible.
