“So, what do you have to tell me?” Detective Watson asked. She was an older woman, with an efficient and brusque style of interaction.
“I just wanted to say what a great job you’re doing on Rose’s case,” Loretta said, eyeing me seductively, as if it would change my mind.
“No, we’re here because Rose has not breached any of her conditions. I have Loretta on record admitting as much,” I stated, holding up my phone.
Loretta scowled and crossed her arms over her chest, probably annoyed that she couldn’t seduce meorthe detective.She didn’t speak. Detective Watson looked at her expectantly, yet she remained mute.
I cleared my throat. “Okay, well if Loretta won’t admit to anything, I’d like to report something of my own. A few years ago—”
“Fine, fine,” Loretta snapped. “Rose needs help, whether she wants to admit it or not. I just did some things to push that along. She doesn’t belong out here. She’s a danger to herself and others.”
“What ‘things’ did you do, Ms. Swan?” Detective Watson asked sharply. She didn’t look surprised, just angry and irritated.
Loretta looked down at her hands. “Well, I may have sent some messages and gifts to Blake Evans and Vince Conti.”
“That is a crime, Ms. Swan. And a complete waste of our time and resources. Stay here.”
The detective rose and left the room. I wasn’t sure what would come next, but no way was I leaving until Loretta had spilled the beans.
I’m coming for you, my Zahra. Please forgive me.
Chapter 29: The Rose—Reflections
If it weren’t for nurse Rachel, I’d be a mess. The last few days had been a blur. I didn’t do anything wrong. My mother had thrown me to the wolves, which was both surprising and unsurprising. I knew she was a toxic influence, which is why I’d distanced myself, but to hear that she was the active cause of my downfall was a new reason for me to potentially spiral. I didn’t spiral though. I stayed strong, with the support of Dr. Warren and nurse Rachel.
Mom was this odd part of my life that I couldn’t reason away or leave behind. She was neglectful and unloving but had never outright hurt me. This was so hard to process, and I needed time. My Kalb had saved me, that much I knew, but we’d never be the same. He cut me off with his harsh words. He believed the worst in me, and I’d played into it like a stupid, adoring puppy, not truly understanding what was happening. I didn’t hold it against him, but I didn’t want him in my life any longer. I guess he didn’t truly know me or how hard I was trying. And I was constantly trying. I tried my best always, even when ordering a coffee. I averted my eyes. I avoided relationships. I let him in, and he cut me off at the knees. It wasn’t really his fault, nor was it mine. On paper, I was a psycho and I’d made the mistake of believing he saw beyond that. This was all a sign that I wasn’t ready for any kind of real relationship, be it with him or someone peripheral like Gloria or Jessie.
There was no reason I couldn’t return to work now that the police had explained everything but not knowing what had been said about me during my absence, I decided a clean break was best. I was also considering moving. Again. Stability was obviously never going to be a reality for me, so I’d pack up my meagre belongingsagain, change my workplaceagain, and move apartmentsagain. This time, I could keep my name. Myre-arrest mustn’t have been very interesting because it hadn’t made the media.
After sleeping and lolling about my apartment for two days, I finally powered up my recharged phone. It had been taken from me when I was moved into the hospital. I was perhaps expecting an apology from Ace, and a message from my boss. Instead, I saw a flood of messages from Ace and one from Paul.
Ace: My Zahra, I am so sorry. I will fix this.
Ace: I know you’re probably not able to read this, but you will be soon. I’m working on it.
Ace: It’s all fixed now, my Zahra. Please forgive me.
Ace: Please call me when you get this message. I tried to visit you and pick you up, but they won’t let me.
Ace: I spoke to your boss. Your job is safe. No one knows anything. She just told everyone you were visiting a sick relative.
Ace: Paul wants to do the test. Do I have your permission to pass on your number?
Ace: Please, Zahra. Answer my calls or message me back, even just to say you’re okay.
Ace: I know you’re at home. I’m outside. Can I come up?
Ace: Zahra, please. You probably hate me, but I want to explain.
Ace: I know what this means to you, so I gave Paul your number. Please call if you want to talk.
Unknown number: Hi, this is Paul. I’m sorry I took so long to answer you. I will do the DNA test. If I am your father, my wife and I would love to meet you together.
I checked the send times. It was yesterday afternoon that he said he was outside. I’m glad I hadn’t responded. I didn’t want to see him. I peeked out the window. He’d either been there thewhole time, or he’d left and returned, because his car was out there, parked directly out front of the building.
It wasn’t a condition of release (given I hadn’t reoffended) but I’d opted to see Dr. Warren every week for a while instead of the required monthly visits, so I had to leave the apartment this afternoon.
Me: I’m not angry. I’m just moving on. Please leave because I have to be somewhere and really don’t want to talk.
