“No, I haven’t. Rose, I think we need to have a serious talk. I will continue to look into your stalker, but I will need $1,500 to cover my costs.”
What the hell? He was my stalker. And my (almost) boyfriend. Why was he charging me? Was this part of the game?
“Um, I can give you some of it, but can I pay you for the rest after?”
He nodded, just a slight, curt nod.
“I haven’t heard from Paul. And Rose, be careful. If you violate your bond, you’ll be arrested, and I can’t help you with that.”
I nodded weakly. He wanted me to leave him alone. Why did he encourage me before? I checked my lists all the time, and it seemed like this was something we both liked. Had I misreadagain?
“Okay, I won’t do that. I’m sorry.”
“I can’t stay. I have a job on the other side of town. I’ll inform you when I know something.” With that, he stood and left, without even ordering. I sat mutely, fighting back tears, which turned out to be a pointless battle.
The middle-aged waitress came over. She had such a friendly face and had smiled at me when I said I had a friend joining me. I had to order. He’d just left and I’d been sitting here for so long alone, telling the waitress that I’d order when my friend got here. My face burned, embarrassed that yet again, I was the lonely outsider. A man had come to my table and left straight away.
“Um, I’ll just have a black coffee please.” My voice was shaky, and my tears were freely streaming down my face. I wanted to keep my order cheap. I now had a bill with Kalb that I couldn’t afford to pay. I was so stupid. Always getting myself into these situations for men who never returned my feelings. How many more lessons did I need before I learned that I could never trust my judgment?
“Okay, honey. I’ll get that for you. On the house. And if you don’t mind me saying, he’s not worth your tears.”
Her kindness made me cry harder, but I managed to thank her anyway. Reading her name tag, I smiled and said “Thanks Marie. You’re very kind.” I’d take the free coffee. I never had anyone buy me drinks or give me gifts, other than my grandmother and Kalb (once upon a time).
“Rose, don’t be selfish. I wished you a happy birthday already! Money is tight, you know that,” Mom scolded. It was my fourteenth birthday, and I desperately wanted some flavored lip gloss like the other girls at school had. Strawberry,or maybe mango. Instead, Mom bought herself a new dress and had her hair styled.
I nodded sadly. Money was tight, and Mom needed to keep up her appearance so that I could have a new dad. It was an investment, she said. In a year, I could get a job and pay for my own things. Or maybe that nice boy in the year above me would buy it for me. He smiled at me once. I could leave him some love notes, anonymously, so it would be a fun mystery for him!
Marie brought the coffee over and sat an orange and poppyseed muffin next to it. At this, I could no longer speak, so I just nodded and smiled.
What had I done wrong? I flicked through my phone to find the mantra I used when I felt really hopeless.
Every day is a fresh start.
Every day is a fresh start.
Every day is a fresh start.
Tomorrow, I will start again. I will message Kalb—I mean Mr. Edison—and cancel the job. I can’t afford to pay him, and hewasmy stalker, so what’s the point? I’m just an income for him now. I wanted desperately to talk to Dr. Warren, but I would have to admit that I’d stalked someone again and that he had warned me off. She might report me.
Me: Mr. Edison, I have changed my mind. Please do not investigate my stalker. Please send me a bill for what I owe so far, and I will close the account. Regards, Rose.
My Kalb: You owe $300. I will stop working on it now. Thank you, Ms. Myrtle.
What others think of me is their business.
What others think of me is their business.
What others think of me is their business.
I changed Ace’s name to “Mr. Edison” in my contacts and ate my muffin. It’s hard to eat when you’re crying, but I would not like for Marie to think her kindness was unappreciated.
Chapter 23: The Hound—Relapsing
“I told you not to chase her,” Brett said angrily, slamming a pile of folders on my desk. “She’s a fucking nut job.”
“She’s cancelled the job, so no harm done. And I was the nut job for thinking something was there,” I snapped.
It broke my heart that Rose cancelled the job, but then she didn’t know there was a real stalker out there. I had to break ties with her, but I’d keep watching her and protecting her until I could solve this. As much as she was a bit messed up, I didn’t want to see her hurt. I couldn’t just shut off my feelings.
