“Rose, would you like to meet up tomorrow night to discuss my findings from my chat with Paul? I won’t be able to get there until about 6 pm, so I could meet you at about 7 pm somewhere? It might be good for you to get out.”
She looked uncertain. There was a long silence, but I didn’t fill it. She needed to answer me with no distractions.
“Yes, okay. Where?”
“How about Gia’s? The restaurant near the pharmacy on Regent Road?”
“Okay. I can do that.” She was talking herself into it.Open the windows, my Zahra. Let the sunshine in.
“Great. Hopefully I’ll have something positive to tell you.”
She shifted in her seat and picked up her coffee. I mirrored her stance and asked her about her day. Rose seemed to relax and began chatting with me. She seemed to have a more relaxed vibe about her.I was finally making my way in.
Chapter 12: The Rose—Choices
Things were heating up. I found a yellow rose and a note on my windscreen earlier this week. I loved the rose connection, and the yellow was just so cheery. The note showed me that this was definitely a man, and it definitely wasn’t Glenn Maxwell. He’d left notes before on the noticeboard and his writing was terrible with most words misspelled. But how did this man gain access to the parking lot? This was a secure building. There were a few male tenants. Jeff Something was very attractive, but he was married. If it was him, I would be a speck of dust in his rearview mirror. Never again. He also never even looked at me, never said hi. It couldn’t be Jeff, but it must be someone in this complex.
The note was sweet, slightly dark, which I kind of loved.
My Zahra, you are perfect. I wish you would one day wear your dress for me. I wish I could tell you to your face how beautiful you are.
That was it. This guy was short and sweet, but his words packed a punch. Beautiful? Me? I tried so hard in the past to be pretty, to attract attention. I’d flashed my naked body to both Blake and Dr. Conti, but they were not interested. Dr. Warren and I had discussed my romantic past extensively. Well, my sexual history, not my romantic history. There was no romance in my past. Just a long line of sexual experiences with men who exploited my need to be loved. Dean had been a sexual partner for months but never took me on a date. He’d call me late at night or show up at my house, then he ghosted me when he met Rebecca. And that had been my longest ever “relationship.”
I was embarrassed when I thought about how I’d confronted Blake and Dr. Conti. Just exposing myself in the hope that they’d love me. Dr. Warren and I talked a lot about boundaries and the difference between sex and genuine affection. I’d keep tomyself. My self-esteem was in the toilet, and I didn’t need more rejection. So yeah, being sent sweet notes and a beautiful dress was kind of nice. Validating. Oops, hang on.
Validity comes from my inner truth, not external judgment.
Validity comes from my inner truth, not external judgment.
Validity comes from my inner truth, not external judgment.
Now that I’d cleared that up, it was still nice to feel wanted. To feel desired. I had to get to the bottom of this. If Jeff was my secret admirer, I’d have to confront him and tell him to leave me alone. I wasn’t going to destroy another relationship. I don’t know what happened in the end with Blake and Harriet, but I can’t imagine it went well. That dwelled heavily on my conscience. She was pregnant and I chased her husband unashamedly. He’d given green flags, and I had just run with them. I wouldn’t do that again. I wouldn’t hurt anyone else. And if I saw green flags ever again, I’d confirm their color with the man waving them.
I wondered how I would find this man. I didn’t know where or when he’d strike again. I wondered if Mr. Edison could find out for me. I didn’t have much money at all. I’d saved $1,200 before I approached him, so I still had $700 left, but he probably wouldn’t do two discounted jobs for me. I didn’t earn much at all. I chose my job because of the limited social contact it involved. No direct customers, no clients. Just a team of colleagues with whom I could maintain a polite distance.
I could buy a little camera I guess, but there was no guarantee he’d approach my car again. I also didn’t know the laws on filming people without their knowledge. I couldn’t risk falling foul of the law again. Stalkers like me didn’t get many second chances. I was on a very short leash. Finally, I decided that Mr. Edison was my best choice. If he quoted a higher amount, I’d just have to pay him in instalments or find another way. I’d ask him at dinner.
____________
I considered wearing my new dress to the dinner with Mr. Edison but decided against it. This wasn’t a date. I needed to maintain my boundaries. I opted for a very casual look. Baggy jeans and a flowing white blouse. I wore only lip gloss and put my hair in a matronly braid. I wasn’t trying to seduce him. This look wouldn’t get me into trouble. It felt awful though. I wanted to look pretty in front of him, but it was part of my boundaries to keep our interactions professional. There was no place for lipstick, mascara, or tight dresses.
As usual, he arrived exactly on time. He had a huge smile on his face and greeted me with a friendly face and a light touch on my arm.
“Rose, I’m so glad you could meet me. I think I have something you’ll want to hear.”
We sat at the table and ordered our meals. I ordered soda. An alcoholic drink would look too date-like. Mr. Edison ordered whiskey. I guess he was officially off work now. His choice of drink didn’t mean anything.
“Well, lay it on me! What’s the good news?” Oh dear. My tone was very informal. Lay it on me? Retreat Rose, retreat.
Chapter 13: The Hound—New candidates
“Paul is a nice man. He’s hung around that bar since he was a kid, and in my experience, kids are the most observant witnesses. He knew of your mom and said that she was ... popular. He named a few men, but we were able to exclude them based on physical characteristics. Jenson was a Black man and Leon was Vietnamese. There are a few others I need to look into, but Paul seemed eager to help you, so it’s a good start.”
She seemed to brighten at that. It must be difficult to know of your mother’s past indiscretions, but she never seemed shocked. And that didn’t shock me.
“I’m going to look into the last two men he mentioned tomorrow, so I’ll shoot you a text if I find anything.”
She smiled widely. “Thank you, Mr. Edison. Um, can I please ask you something?”
