‘Oh, perfect. Buy books, explore the town. And I thought, perhaps you could cut me one of your special profiles? I have wondered about that a great deal, you know. How you’d do it.’
‘I’ll need you to inspire me,’ Daizell said, and reached for him.
The next few days were quiet bliss.
They bought books – several, since they both liked the Waverley author. They saw the sights of Coventry, with Daizell discovering once again that a man who was interested in everything made everything interesting. They took long walks that alternated talking and comfortable silence, and spent entertaining evenings with the regulars of the Green Lion. It all made for remarkably full days. And then there were the nights.
Oh Lord, the nights. He didn’t think he’d ever forget thistime. Cassian had taken Daizell’s request to heart, whispering those glorious endearments, telling Daizell he was so marvellous, so giving, such a very good boy, and Daizell was almost embarrassingly weak-kneed under the onslaught of lips and fingers and most of all those soft words in that bard’s voice. It was ridiculous how the praise went straight to his prick, and he didn’t care. Partly it felt too good; partly, Cassian had thrown himself wholeheartedly into the role, and was revelling in the effect of his words, and if it made him happy to bring Daizell to whimpering bliss, Daizell wasn’t going to complain.
He’d returned the favour with another planned ‘good morning’ fuck, every bit as successfully as before, leaving Cassian as sated and boneless as a cat in sunlight. He might possibly be dead and in heaven, except he didn’t think he’d done anything to merit this.
He had their mutual pleasure, and Cassian’s company and friendship, and their growing intimacy. He had no stagecoaches rattling his bones, no worries about money. He might have worried about time because Cassian’s month was running down with every day that passed, but that would spoil things, so he cut off the thought when it came and set himself to enjoy each moment as he lived it.
Something in Cassian seemed to melt away over those days too: some reserve, or worry. He stayed up with the raucous crowd a couple of times, and was once persuaded to tell a mildly warm story that was greeted by great applause and hoots of laughter. He’d glowed as if he’d never got a laugh in a public bar before, and Daizell didn’t know how his heart could keep expanding like this.
He cut Cassian’s shade, showing him the whole process, starting with smearing thick paper with lamp-black. Hedidn’t trouble with a pencil outline: by now he could have cut that quietly elegant profile in the dark. He did two, a standard shade of Cassian ruffled and smiling, which he pasted opposite a hollow cut in more serious pose. He also did an extremely questionable full-length version, which involved a great deal of giggling, and which he insisted, with regret on both sides, they burn afterwards. He’d learned his lesson there.
Everything was perfect until Friday.
Forster hailed them as they came in after a morning’s walk and leisurely luncheon. ‘Daize? You might want to know, Martin’s here. He’s giving Gracie her birthday present.’
‘Good,’ Daizell said. ‘We’d like to have a word when he’s done. Can we have the parlour? And don’t tell him it’s me, will you? I’d like to surprise him.’
‘I bet you would. You sit down, I’ll send him along.’
Daizell gestured Cassian towards the parlour. ‘Shall we?’
‘Yes. Or – I was wondering, is it a good idea for me to be there? That is, if he feels he has a hold over me, might that not make for a more difficult bargaining position?’
‘He doesn’t have a hold over you. Does he?’
‘Well, the indiscretion—’
‘If he threatens to use that against you in this place, Forster will rip him limb from limb,’ Daizell pointed out. ‘That said, I dare say he’s more likely to ask you for money than he would be me, since I haven’t got any. It might be best if you stayed out of the way, unless you want to tell him what you think of him.’
Cassian sighed. ‘I just want my ring back. I am reluctant to pay him for it, since he’s already had my pocketbook and possessions, but if I have to—’
He would not be doing any such thing, and if he wasconsidering it, Daizell wanted him well out of the way, where Martin wouldn’t be able to read his face. ‘Look, you go and readKenilworth, so I can have it off you sooner. I’ll get your ring back, or find what he did with it. All right?’
Cassian gave him a smile that twisted Daizell’s heart in his chest, wistful and happy and trusting all at once. ‘Thank you, Daize,’ he said softly. ‘Can I kiss you in here?’
‘Very much so.’
Cassian caught his face with both hands, bringing their mouths together, kissing him with a breath-sapping intensity and then resting his head against Daizell’s. ‘I . . . you mean so much to me, Daizell. I’m so glad I met you.’
‘So am I,’ Daizell managed. Cassian’s hands were on his shoulders now, hanging on tight, almost desperate, and he needed to say something. To ask for what he wanted, and find out if it even remotely resembled anything he could have. ‘I – look, I want to talk about this. About us. Being together.’
Cassian looked up at him with huge, rainswept eyes, and Daizell’s heart contracted like a clenched fist. He took a deep breath. ‘The thing is, I love you.’
Cassian’s eyes widened, lips parting in what looked like shock. Daizell hurried on, because it was too late to stop. ‘I know it’s not been long but I’ve been falling in love with you since we met, and I had to say so, and I can’t let this end without trying to keep it because this has been the best few weeks of my life. I’m well aware I’ve no money and a tainted name, and I quite see the difficulty, and if – if it can’t work, if you don’t want to or have other obligations, I shan’t make a fuss. Don’t fear that. Only, if you want to be with me at all, then you should know I want that more than anything. Because I love you.’
‘Oh God.’ There were tears in Cassian’s eyes and his fingers were tight on Daizell’s shoulders. ‘You really mean that? Me? Just me?’
‘Who else is there?’
Cassian made a hoarse noise, and pulled him in hard, making Daizell realise how much he’d feared him pulling away. ‘Yes. Absolutely yes. I want to be with you so much, Daize. You’ve changed everything, and the way you make me feel – Ineedyou.’
Daizell kissed him, with all the urgency he felt. Cassian’s lips met his fiercely for a moment, then he pulled away. ‘Wait, listen. We have to talk. There’s things I need to tell you, important things.’
