He planted himself in front of his friend, just like he had earlier. Though this time it would be clear he would pounce at the least provocation, Richard pushed at his chest, not in the least impressed.
“Yes, I did, because, you big lout, she might want you, butyoudo not wanther, do you? Or at least not enough to offer her the second chance you agreed so readily that she deserves. And why? Because you’re too much of a coward to admit to what you feel for her!” There was another push. But James was too stunned to retaliate. “So what do you want? For her to spend the rest of her life alone, at the mercy of passing men who think they can amuse themselves with her? To be unloved and unprotected? Don’t tell me you’re such a selfish bastard!”
“I…”
What could he say? He wasn’t sure. Did he want Carys? Yes. Was he a coward? Probably, because he refused to admit his feelings to her, and even to himself. Was he selfish? Definitely, since the idea of her belonging to another man, or even going to his bed for a harmless dalliance, ripped at his guts despite the sorry truth that he had not promised her anything. He could not be with her, and yet he didn’t want her to be with anyone else.
It was madness.
Only the day before he had confided in her about the pain of his losses, hoping she would understand why he could not be with her, or at least why he needed time to accept this new development. And before he’d had time to even try, he’d been forced by Richard’s actions to take a stand, and make a decision.
James had never liked being cornered and he liked it even less now, when it was crucial he did not make any mistakes.
“Let it be. This is none of your concern.” He wanted nothing more than to put an end to this painful conversation. Why hadhe felt the need to interrupt the confrontation? Carys had never been in any danger. She had made her wishes clear and the carpenter would never have pushed her beyond what she was comfortable with. His intervention hadn’t been needed.
“No. Unfortunately, Carys has made it clear that what happened to her wasn’t my concern. And so it seems that I, too, am destined to spend the rest of my life alone.”
Richard sounded so bitter that the remainder of James’ anger faded away.
He sighed, knowing his friend was more than owed another chance at happiness himself, having lost the love of his life without having had the opportunity of living with her. James’ wife had died too early and he had endured his share of trials but he had at least had a number of blissful years with Joanne. Richard had only spent one week with Rose, Matthew’s mother, before fate had wrenched them apart.
But perhaps all was not lost.
“My friend, it would seem I am not the only blind one around here,” he said slowly. As long as they were talking about someone else’s inadequacies, he had no problem carrying on the discussion.
“What does that mean?”
It was James’ turn to look incredulous. “You do not have to spend the rest of your life alone if you don’t want to. Or have you not seen the way Avice looks at you?”
“Avice? The cook?”
“Do you know any other? She’s been fawning after you since the day you arrived.” Richard was still blinking, stunned by what was evidently news for him, but James knew he was not mistaken. He had known the cook for years and the infatuation was obvious to him. The woman was smitten. “I was wondering why you’d grown so fat. ’Twill be all the tarts she makes for you, I’m thinking. The rest of us are not so lucky. Not that the foodis bad, of course, she’s the best cook we’ve ever had at Sheridan Manor. I particularly like her pigeon pies. I have no idea what she puts in them but I have never tasted better ones. Sage perhaps? Or sweet onions?”
He was blabbering on because he could see that Richard had been struck by his revelation and he wanted to give him time to recover. After a while, he did.
“Avice?” The carpenter still sounded dazed but not displeased. On the contrary. “Do you think so?”
“I don’t think so, I know so.” James slapped him on the shoulder. Really, how had the man not seen anything? “And now that I’ve told you, you will see it also.”
“Well, it would seem that we are a sad pair of idiots, because neither of us can see what is staring at us in the face.”
“Yes. It would seem we are.”
Because now he’d heard Richard’s assertion that Carys was interested in him, everything made sense. It was the only way to explain her reaction to his kiss, the only reason she would have admitted out loud to being unable to forget what they had done on the beach. Even more to the point, he guessed she had only allowed him to touch her in that manner because of the attraction she felt. She would have pushed him away otherwise, like she had Richard.
Something would have to change, now that his eyes had been opened.
He would have to stop being a sad idiot and be a man once more.
Chapter Seven
“James!”
Carys gasped when she turned to her side, only to find herself face to face with the man she’d been thinking about all evening. For once he was not wearing a black tunic. In fact, he was not wearing anything. Not even a shift. Her whole body dissolved at the sight of his chest. Heavens. She had guessed he would be lean and chiseled but this…
“W-what are you doing here? It’s my bed.”
“I know. That is precisely why I’m here.”
