Although Osta tended to be a bit oblivious when it came to people, objects of the non-living variety couldn’t hide a thing from her. She was always the most curious child, inspecting everything, asking questions that other children would never even think of. Lady Fairbanks took full advantage of this once she found out just how talented Osta was, using her to fact check her financial documents and ensure any shopping receipts were correct.
She was always the first one to solve a riddle, or to point out some obscure location on a map. Her focus was subtle, but the height of practicality. It’s a part of what made her so talented with design. She could look at something and immediately pinpoint what would bring about its greatest attributes.
Once Lady Fairbanks discovered that her talents could be used in this regard, Osta became her full-time seamstress at just thirteen. That was how Osta was introduced to her current employer, Thearna, who was not much better than Lady Fairbanks.
Most focuses were ordinary. A farmer might have a certain knack for identifying good soil deposits. A hunter might have a sixth sense when it comes to tracking. Ma could ignite small flames, but there was an entire Guard family who could send the world into a burning blunder.
Some never received the ability to channel. Others received such great power, they rivaled the Esprithe themselves. Some of us had no idea what our supposed focus was.
No, not some of us. Me.
Deep in my gut, I knew the truth: it wasn’t a focus at all.
It was a curse.
Ma wandered over to the stool near my desk and took a seat, eyeing me with reluctance. Her teasing smile morphed into a tight line.
“Fia, are we ever going to talk about it?” She cut off my train of thought.
I sighed, loading the arrangements of bark into my brewing sachet before flinging it into the cauldron to steep.
“What is it exactly that you want to know?” I slid into my chair, inhaling deeply.
“Fia… you never miss work. You looked like a ghost this morning... I couldn’t help but wonder…” Ma trailed off, taking her eyes off me for the first time today.
I felt a weight lift as her gaze shifted, but it also stirred something deep within me. Panic. The absence of her stare suddenly felt like a void, like a forest fire finally burning out to reveal the wasteland it left behind.
“Well, Ma. That’s not so revolutionary. I always look like a ghost,” I teased quietly, hesitating. Her eyes remained fixed on the floor. And my words passed over her like a joke she had heard one too many times.
I sat in silence for a long while, contemplating my options. This was exactly what I had been worried about. She knew me too well. And she wanted answers… She deserved answers, but how could I tell her?
“I was worried that something had happened…” She trailed off, her words heavy in the air.
Fear churned inside me. Would I endanger her by telling her my truth? Would I even be tellingthe truthif I told hermy truth? Would she find me completely insane? I was spiraling, the questions tumbling through the walls of my mind.
And yet, I shuddered away from the one possibility that was truly holding me back. The one I dreaded the most. The one that would change everything. The one where I lost Ma.
It was hard to even consider. Ma chose to see the good in me. A victim of circumstance. But if she knew what truly happened, could we survive? If I told her, would she finally see me as the monster she never believed I would become?
Even if Osta was right and none of it was real, normal people didn’t hallucinate themselves murdering people. Normal peopledidn’t suffer from mind-bending nightmares that made them fear sleep nearly as much as they feared the world around them. Normal people didn’t have to question whether their reality was in fact, real at all.
“Ma … I–” I whispered, just as the bells chimed from the front of the shop. We both turned our heads in the direction of the sound as if we had been woken from a trance.
Ma looked at me again, and my heart felt like it would give out. She paused for a few seconds, before giving me a sympathetic nod and making her way to the front.
Silence enveloped me. I breathed deeply, only mildly aware of the world outside of my own mind. Was this a sign to keep it all inside me?
Maybe the customer just needed a quick fix. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could bear the weight of anticipation. Slivers of voices echoed into the room.
Ma’s footsteps approached, and I looked up as she rounded the corner. Her expression was hollow. My attention crept to her left and the breath in my lungs turned to ice. The emerald eyes of General Ashford were staring back at me.
CHAPTER 5
The General’sgaze tore into me like a predator closing in on his prey.
He was so close.
He wore black coated leathers. The insignia of Sídhe—two dark green serpents—loomed at his chest, and war badges lined the fabric draping his shoulders.
