He slung the van into a parking space. ‘We’re here.’
Josh led the way down a darkening street to the cinema. He paid for their tickets, then offered to buy her a bag of chocolates or a box of popcorn. Fiona tried to stay focused on the present, but she couldn’t help it. Her mind drifted back to her first date with Ru, the memory flooding her senses like a rising tide.
They had met at Borough Market, where vendors’ voices rose and fell in a rhythmic urban symphony, punctuated by the sharp chop of knives against wooden boards. Ru was waiting for her, his hands casually tucked into his jacket pockets, a confident smile playing on his lips. He exuded an unexpected warmth, softening the talented, focused chef she admired.
He had led her through the maze of food stalls and a tapestry of scents – succulent meat sputtering on open grills, releasing wisps of smoky fragrance; wild mushrooms oozing their earthy perfume; chestnuts crackling and caramelizing, discharging a sweet, nutty smell. Ru described each smell with the precision of someone who lived and breathed flavour. Fiona found herself spellbound, the sensory overload of the market intoxicating. Ru picked out a lamb kofta wrap for her, drizzled with creamy yogurt, while he selected a crispy, spicy empanada. With a mischievous grin, he dared her to try a bite of his choice. She did, laughing as the heat hit her tongue, then shared a bite of her wrap in return. It felt natural. Ru wasn’t just a chef; he was someone who loved the comfort and community of food. He found joy in life’s simplest moments.
Later, they strolled to a cosy craft beer pub. Fiona scanned the taps quickly, picking out a smoky stout for Ru and a lighter ale for herself. As they clinked glasses, she noticed the spark in his eyes – a mix of admiration and curiosity, filling her with a longing to prolong the evening, to spend more time with thisintriguing man.
Now, sitting in the brightly lit cinema foyer with Josh, Fiona couldn’t shake the contrast. The innocent offer of prepackaged chocolates and popcorn felt so distant from the vibrant, spontaneous energy of that evening with Ru. Josh’s voice interrupted her musing. ‘Would you like a drink? There’s a bar upstairs, not sure I’d recommend the wine, but they might have a decent beer.’
She declined, wanting her senses sharp, aware of the difference between now and before. Josh wasn’tRu– not by a long shot.
The door to their screen opened and a stream of customers flooded into the foyer, blinking as their eyes adjusted to the harsh lights. Josh held the door open a second longer than necessary, smiling brightly as she slipped past him, her nostrils assaulted by the stale smell of a recently crowded room. They sank into their seats, the imitation velvet fabric squeaking as Josh fidgeted beside her. He offered her some popcorn, holding the tub slightly too close to her face. She waved it away, more curtly than she meant to. ‘No, thanks.’ She could feel him watching her in the low light, his gaze almost pressing down on her, and she exhaled, trying to focus on the trailer starting on the screen.
Josh leaned towards her. ‘I’ve heard this movie is amazing.’
She forced a small smile, glancing at the flickering screen. ‘Great,’ she replied, wishing he’d relax, or, even better, stop talking altogether. She was thinking she’d made a mistake agreeing to this night out. Like Ru said, she should be revising.
She sat stiffly, her knees pressed together, arms crossed loosely over her bag. In front of her, the glossy trailers flickered, but she barely registered them. Josh’s proximity gnawed at her – how he leaned slightly toward her to make a jokey comment, how his elbow hovered too close on the shared armrest. She toldherself it wasn’t a date. Yet the way his eyes lingered on her in the dim light told another story, one she didn’t want to read. A sickly smell of vape clung to Josh, mixing with the salty aroma of the popcorn. He was fidgeting, and every time he moved a faint whoosh of air carried his scent over to her. She tried to ignore it, staring intently at the screen, but even the briefest shifts in his seat felt exaggerated to her senses.
He whispered something – was it about the upcoming movie? A joke about the adverts? She smiled vaguely, her attention fixed on the glowingExitsign at the edge of her vision.
As the opening scenes of the film finally began, Fiona felt a surge of relief – an excuse to go quiet, to avoid the dance of polite engagement. Josh, however, kept glancing over at her, his face lighting up with every mildly funny line or dramatic moment, as if waiting for her to share in his enthusiasm. She realized that despite what he’d said about it being just an evening out, she might be leading him on. Perhaps it would have been better if she had declined his invitation and stayed in her room studying.Then she spotted the van keys in Josh’s lap, and she swallowed.. By tomorrow, Ru would doubtless know all about this evening. She could already picture his wounded expression, hear the passive-aggressive snipes that would follow. Tonight might be innocent fun, but the ripples it would cause were anything but simple.
Nineteen
It wasn’t until the evening shift on Tuesday that Fiona spotted another opportunity to speak to Ru. She arrived early, noticing George and Josh outside the back door chatting.
‘I gather you two were on a date last night,’ said George with a smirk.
Josh chuckled. ‘We had a stellar night.’
Fiona smiled politely and rushed inside to the kitchen. The warm smell of toasting spices hit her. Ru had his back to her and was humming to himself as contentedly as he used to do in the flat when he was cooking for just the two of them. Tears pricked at her eyes as she remembered how she used to sneak up and wrap her arms around his waist. She reminded herself that she had come this far; with time, memories like that would become less poignant. She would fall out of love with him, just as he had fallen out of love with her. She had to set him free so that he could soar, and if that meant never holding him in her arms again, well, that was a sacrifice she must make.
‘Ru,’ she whispered.
He spun around, a hurt expression on his face. ‘Enjoy your date last night?’
‘It wasn’t a date,’ she hissed, her voice tight with mild annoyance. ‘I went to the cinema. It was Josh’s way of saying thank you for the wine lessons.’ She crossed her arms, sensing the tension rise in her chest.
‘That’s not what he thinks,’ Ru replied, his tone laced withsomething she couldn’t quite place. This was awkward; the last thing she wanted was for Josh to have misinterpreted last night.
Fiona’s eyes narrowed slightly, but her annoyance quickly gave way to a more urgent thought. There was no time to spar with him; they were alone, and she suspected they wouldn’t be for long..
‘I must talk to you. Can we meet?’ she said, the words almost rushing out.
‘I’m busy,’ he spat, spinning away, removing the pan and shaking the toasted spices into a dish.
‘Please. After work?’
‘I’m busy after work too.’ He paused, then said with a trace of a sneer, ‘You’re not the only one who’s moved on.’
That hurt. She hadn’t been on a date, but it sounded suspiciously like he was about to, and Fiona had a hunch she knew who with. But she still had to warn him. She owed him that much. How could she force him to meet her? She had a sudden idea. ‘Ru, we need to discuss the flat. What to do with it ... you know, now that we’ve split up?’ She heard laughter and George’s low, rumbling voice, and spoke urgently. ‘Meet me at 7.30 tomorrow morning at Prosecco & Prose.’ That was too early for the school run, and George would be busy cooking breakfasts.
He gave a slow nod. ‘Fine.’ With a thickness in her throat, Fiona scooted out of the room. Their relationship was over; she was just doing the honourable thing, warning a friend he may be in trouble.
In the morning, Fiona showered before her aunt rose, then dithered over what to wear. It was a choice between work clothes or summer holiday outfits, but those would be too cold for a late October morning. She compromised by taking extra care with her make-up. Wondering if Ru would notice, Fiona squirtedGabrielle by Chanelon her neck and wrists. For Fiona, thefragrance would forever be a memory of that day in Selfridges. She could still feel the warmth of Ru’s hand clasping hers as he led her through the grand aisles, moving with his usual brash confidence, somehow fitting into the lush, polished world of luxury perfume like he was born into it.
