When she woke up, it was dark, and Siggi wasn’t there. She didn’t know what time it was, but she felt rested, as if she’d slept for hours. Picking up the softest throw in the world from the bottom of the bed, she wrapped it around herself and went to look for him. He was exactly where he had been when she’d arrived; lying on the sofa reading.
‘Hey,’ he said, grinning. ‘Better?’
‘Mmm. What time is it?’
‘Seven.’
‘We need some dinner. I’m starving.’
‘There is no food here,’ Siggi said. ‘I was going to go to the shop.’
‘You are not going to the shop,’ Iris said, imagining him trying to negotiate the cobbled path when he’d had enough trouble getting from here to the kitchen. ‘Not until you’re better at the crutches. Let’s get a takeaway. I don’t mind picking it up.
‘Have you seen outside?’ he said, nodding to the window.
Big fat flakes of snow were falling. ‘Oh my god!’ Iris said with glee. ‘It’s snowing!’ Although it had snowed when they’d been camping, being inside and watching the snow fall from the warmth of this cosy little house was on another level. ‘Honestly, I’m happy to go.’ It was a chance to see the city as she hadn’t before; a winter wonderland. She imagined the streets dustedwith snowflakes glistening in the glow of the fairy lights and full of people bundled up in their coats and boots.
‘I can’t believe you are excited about going out in this weather,’ Siggi said, laughing. ‘Can you pass my phone?’
Iris loved listening to him speak Icelandic. It was sexy. She carried on looking out of the window because otherwise she’d be staring at him. She was almost back to where she’d been two days ago. Before the ill-fated breakfast, before he’d gone missing, before she’d taken the job. But there was a lot for them to talk about before anything more than falling asleep together could happen.
‘I have ordered fish and chips for us. They will deliver in half an hour.’
‘Oh, okay.’
‘Hey, Iris.’
Tearing herself away from the window and the snow, which was getting deeper by the minute, she turned. He was sitting now, patting the seat next to him.
‘Keep your ankle up,’ she said, putting a pillow on the coffee table and helping him lift his foot. Now that they had broken the ice by seeing each other again, Iris could sense that very little was going to be said about anything until they talked about what had happened between them. One of them had to start the conversation, otherwise they’d be dancing around it forever.
‘I took the job at the Met Office.’ She sat next to him. It was easier to talk if she didn’t have to look at him.
‘I am glad about that, Iris. And I am sorry that I was a…skíthæll.’
‘Hopefully that means an arse.’
‘Something like that,’ he said.
Iris glanced sideways. His eyes crinkled at the corners as he gave a rueful smile.
‘I know it changes things between us now that I’m staying. Neither of us planned this to be anything more than two people having fun together while they happened to be in the same place for a while. And I heard what you said, and I know you feel bad about it, but that’s not the same as not meaning it.’ She paused. ‘Did you mean it? That me staying doesn’t change anything?’ It hurt to say it out loud.
‘Iris, I am so sorry. It is unforgivable that I said that to you. The moment you left, I knew I had made a mistake. Until I met you, I thought I wanted the rest of my life to be the opposite of what it would have been if I had settled down with Hekla. To come and go as I please without anyone else to think about. When I said those words to you, I had not even realised that I didn’t feel like that anymore. It was different with you. I had not imagined being with someone who I would rather be with than be apart from. But that is you, Iris. I know now. Last night, before Jonas and Olafur found me, I thought that might be the end for me and all I could think about was you.’
Although that had gone through her own mind, she hadn’t realised it could have been a reality until now.
She snuggled closer to him. ‘I’m so sorry, Siggi. I’ve missed you so much.’ It all made sense. ‘I know how it can be to feel something for so long that you kind of assume that’s how you will always feel.’
‘That is it exactly,’ he admitted. ‘But the moment you left, I realised that wasn’t how I wanted to feel. Because everything is different with you, Iris.’ He reached for her hand and squeezed it. ‘Is it okay if I explain about Hekla?’
‘Of course it is.’ If they were going to be together, she needed Siggi’s version of the story to be the one she knew, not Olafur and Gudrun’s.
‘When Hekla and I were together, we were so young. We thought we were in love, but it was never that. We were friendswho enjoyed hanging out with each other. The future together was only the trip we planned to take after university, nothing more. When she got pregnant, I thought the only option was to leave. I didn’t love her, but I know now that if I’d explained how I felt, we probably could have worked something out.’
‘So that you could have been a dad without having to be with Hekla.’
‘It’s terrible.’
