‘Now, I am not supposed to know any of this, but Olafur and I share everything, so…’ She shrugged as if that were explanation enough. ‘Siggi was in love with a girl. They were both young, at university in Reykjavik. Olafur says he was besotted with her and she with him. They had plans to travel the world together, then she got pregnant.’
‘Siggi has a child?’
‘Yes, a daughter. I think she is around fourteen.’
‘But he’s never mentioned her.’ There was a lot that she and Siggi didn’t know about each other, but something like this would have come up by now, surely?
Gudrun shook her head. ‘Siggi did not want to be a father. Olafur says he was angry that the plans he had made for his life were ruined. He decided to walk away.’
‘He left her because she was pregnant?’ Iris wasn’t sure how to reconcile that with the Siggi she knew, who was thoughtful and kind and unlikely to abandon anyone in their hour of need.
‘Yes. He left for a couple of years, travelling. Then he came back, hugely regretful of what he’d done. He tried to make amends but his ex-girlfriend had a new partner and had made a family with him. Siggi did what he thought was the best thing for his daughter and walked away again.’
‘So he doesn’t see her at all?’
‘No, he does not talk about her, even to Olafur and Jonas. It left him broken-hearted, Iris. And when he met you, it was like a new Siggi. Olafur says, it was the old Siggi. You are the first person he has fallen for since all of that happened, so many years ago.’ Gudrun had a wistful look in her eyes, as if she were telling Iris a fairy story.
‘So you think he pushed me away because he’s not used to dealing with his feelings?’
‘What I am saying is that he is surprised by how strong his feelings are for you. The two of you deciding to have fun while you’re here but not longer than that, it was a safety net for him.’
Iris frowned and looked at Gudrun in confusion.
‘He came round to our house and confessed his love for you.’
‘Oh my god, did he?’
‘Well, perhaps he did not say love,’ Gudrun said with a smile. ‘But he likes you so much, he was scared. What can I say? I can see the two of you together.’
Gudrun knew more about Siggi than she did. And if he’d confided in her about how he felt, it was probably worth running past Gudrun what had happened. She told her everything. From Jay, to Bjarkey’s take on it all, culminating in the job offer.
‘It might be my dream job and if I take it, Siggi’s going to think it’s because of him, although after this morning, that is not the case anymore,’ Iris sniffed. ‘And I don’t want to turn it down just so that I can go along with what he wants and end things between us next week. It seems like lose-lose.’
Gudrun sighed. ‘You have to do what is best for you. At least now he is being an arse, you can more easily leave him out of your decision?’
Iris laughed. ‘Hewasan arse but at least now I have some clue about why.’
‘So you might forgive him?’ Gudrun’s face was so hopeful, Iris wanted to say what she was waiting to hear. But she couldn’t. It was too raw.
‘He made it very clear that what we have is a finite thing, not something that could carry on if I happen to decide to stay.’
Gudrun took Iris’s hand. ‘But you understand that he is scared to let himself love you.’
‘I do.’ The feeling of rejection and the sudden switch in Siggi from being his usual warm self to the cold, detached person who had crushed her, washed over her again. ‘He pushed me away, and however I feel about him, now it makes me question whether I can be with someone who can make me feel as if I’ve imagined the feelings that have grown between us for the past week or so.’
‘I am sorry. I do not want you to think that I am on Siggi’s side. He should not have treated you like this. But I know that he loves you, Iris and he is probably devastated that he has done this to you.’
Iris tried to smile. ‘Well, I hope so.’ She wiped her eyes with a fresh tissue. ‘How do I look?’
‘You look like a woman who will be cheered up by a store discount.’
Iris laughed. ‘That’s true. Would it be cheeky to add a few more things to my pile?’
‘Not at all. I dragged you away before you had seen everything. I am the store manager so you can use my staff discount which is even better.’
‘Thank you, Gudrun. Perhaps it’s better not to tell Siggi that we spoke.’
Gudrun ran her finger and thumb across her lips. ‘I will not tell. And you must not tell Siggi that I told you about his daughter.’
