Iris walked back to the jeep in a haze of emotions. Seeing this volcano close up, in all its glory, was one of the most amazing experiences of her career. Of her life. And this man understood what she wanted. More than anyone else ever had. What was she supposed to think about that?
8
SIGGI WAS IN uncharted territory. On some level, he was working on auto-pilot; his charms with women well-known amongst his friends. It was second nature to him and he didn’t know any other way to behave with women he met for the first time. The only exception to this was his friends’ partners. Because he knew where the line was and he would never cross it.
But Iris made him feel different, and although he was well aware of the fact that on the surface he was going down the same familiar road as he always did, there was something else going on too.
The look on her face when she’d seen that lava was incredible. She was passionate about what she did, and Siggi found it quite intoxicating. It made him want to be with her, feed off this remarkable energy that she had for her work. He hadn’t met a woman who had a similarly nomadic, you might say unsettled, lifestyle, and it made him think she might understand him. What made him tick. Maybe more than anyone else ever had.
He held the door of the jeep open for her, then closed it after she’d climbed in. Waiting for a second, he took a deep breath and walked around to the driver’s side. He’d grabbed her hand without really thinking about what it might mean. What did it mean? He was probably about to find out.
He pulled his gloves and hat off and unzipped his coat, then opened the back door of the jeep and threw them on the backseat. Then he climbed inside and grabbed his backpack from the footwell behind Iris.
‘It was such a great idea to bring a picnic,’ she said. ‘What a spot.’
From here, they couldn’t quite see the glow of the lava. The best of the action was hidden behind the cone of the volcano. But perhaps Iris didn’t care about the showier parts of a volcano. Perhaps the geology that was all around them was just as good.
‘Here.’ He handed her one of the thermal mugs and the bag of pastries, letting her choose first.
‘Ooh, this one for me. Thank you.’
He watched her take a bite, her eyes still fixed on the view, bright and smiling. Neither of them addressing the fact that they’d shared… something, felt uncomfortable.
‘Hey, Iris.’ He needed to see her face, to know whether she was fixed on the view to avoid looking at him, or just because she was captivated by it. She turned to look at him expectantly, and his heart leapt a little with relief. Then, a second later her face fell.
‘It’s okay. I know it’s easy to get carried away in the moment,’ she said.
‘What do you mean?’
‘Well, you know, the holding hands. I get that it was just one of those things. I didn’t read anything into it. You don’t have to worry.’
Siggi didn’t know how to respond. She was either giving him the brush-off, or she was getting in there first to say it was a mistake, assuming that’s what he was going to say. And he wasn’t sure it was a mistake. ‘Oh. I guess I thought maybe…’
‘I’m not really into starting something when I’m not going to be here for very long.’
Her eyes were firmly fixed ahead of her, and Siggi got the feeling that what she’d said was more of a well-practisedresponse rather than how she actually felt. At least, he hoped it was.
‘I thought perhaps there was something there,’ he began, never more aware of how far he was straying from his comfort zone. His safe place of never catching feelings for anyone. Never risking being tied down. ‘I don’t normally hold hands with anyone, Iris.’ That was true. It usually went straight to kissing and then quickly developed even further, by which time the holding hands phase was well and truly over.
‘You’re a great guy, Siggi, but I’m only here for two weeks. However I might feel now, it can’t come to anything, can it?’
‘I guess not.’ There was no point pretending that he would want it to be anything more than a fling. Because she was right. What else could it be?
The conversation paused while they tucked into their pastries.
‘You’re quite something, you know,’ he said.
Iris looked at him questioningly.
‘I don’t think I have ever met a woman who is so certain about what she wants. I can accept that you would like to be friends, but nothing more,’ he said gently.
‘Thank you.’
It wasn’t lost on Siggi that normally, he’d be desperate for the women he was seeing to be as pragmatic as Iris. To give him the out he usually wanted. Except, this time, he didn’t think that was what he wanted. What he wanted was to get to know Iris. Discover the hidden depths that made her afraid to let herself go. Because for all the logic she had spoken in the past few minutes, he knew what he’d seen in her eyes when he’d grabbed her hand. She felt the same way he did. She just didn’t want to admit it to him, or maybe even to herself. Perhaps it was as she’d said, that there was no point starting something that had no future, but Siggi thought there was probably more to it.
‘So no more holding hands?’ he said, trying to lighten the mood.
‘I liked it,’ Iris admitted. ‘Would you hold hands with a friend?’
