‘But I don’t love her, we’re not in love. I want to stick by her, for the baby but I can’t be with her. It hasn’t changed the way I feel about her. It’s… terrible timing.’
Even though he wasn’t going to be with Amy in a relationship anymore, they would forever be bound together by the baby. Lois already knew what he had come to tell her.
She stroked his cheek, rubbing his tears away with her thumb while her own coursed down her face. ‘It’s okay. You don’t need to say anything.’ But all she wanted was for him to tell her that she was everything he needed, that they still had a future together, come what may.
‘I’m so sorry, Lois. So sorry.’ He pulled her to him, taking her into his arms. Her head was against his chest, and she could hear his heartbeat. But his heart wasn’t for her anymore.
‘I do understand. I know that we thought our time had come, but it hasn’t. Not yet and it might not.’ If ever she felt the odds were stacked against her and what she wanted, it was now. ‘Let’s accept that fate’s not on our side.’ She tried to smile through her tears.
‘I want to be with you more than anything, Lois. But I don’t want to come to you with so much baggage that we don’t have room for our own suitcase.’
She managed a small laugh.
‘Last night was… perfect. I’ll never forget it.’
‘Neither will I.’
They stood up, having to acknowledge that it was over. The conversation, the friendship, the future for them.
Oliver took her in his arms. ‘I would have loved you, Lois,’ he whispered into her hair. Then he left.
Lois managed to bolt the door behind him before she let out a sob and collapsed to the floor.
47
The meeting with David was being held at County Hall, on the outskirts of Worcester, rather than at The Hive. It was a bit more formal than Robert’s office although Lois knew Robert would probably be invited too.
She caught the bus to Worcestershire Royal Hospital and then walked through Worcester Woods Park to the County Hall offices. The trees were bare, and it was rather muddy until she came to the tarmac portion of the path but the air was fresh and cold and seemed to match her mood.
As she waited in the reception area, Robert arrived. She stood up and they had a quick hug. It was strange to see him anywhere but The Hive. He looked different here, in unfamiliar surroundings; a little lost.
‘Wonderful news of the win, Lois,’ he said enthusiastically.
‘Thanks, Robert.’ She managed a smile although she felt so low that even the thought of the award wasn’t enough to cheer her up. And the fact that the memories of that evening were so intertwined with memories of Oliver made it even harder.
‘Lois, Robert!’ David came striding across the reception to greet them. They all shook hands and then followed him to a conference room where three other people sat waiting. Lois recognised one of them from the awards ceremony although she couldn’t remember his name.
‘Here we have Connie Perks from Human Resources, Lee Fielding our Finance Manager whose responsibilities include the library function and Sue Wilkes our administrator. This is Lois Morgan from Croftwood Library, and you all know Robert from the Hive.’
Everyone said hello and settled themselves down around the table.
‘So, Lois. On the back of your fabulous win at the Library Awards, we have reconsidered the position regarding Croftwood Library. The fact is, we can’t close down the Library of the Year, at least not this year.’
Lee chuckled and David grinned at him.
‘Fortunately, the publicity from the win and the growing interest around your book dating club, particularly the press we’ve seen from that elderly actor, William Templeton, well frankly it’s worth its weight in gold.’
‘So Croftwood is safe? Is that what you’re saying?’ She needed to be sure.
‘Yes. And there’s more. We’d like to make you the full-time manager of Croftwood Library and we’d like you to take on the project of launching your book dating club at libraries across the county.’
Last week, Lois would have bitten his hand off because he was offering her dream job but the reality of having to avoid Oliver and Amy, risk bumping into them every time she left the library, she wasn’t strong enough to deal with that. The further she could be from Croftwood the better.
‘That’s an amazing offer but I can’t accept. I’d like my old job back at the Hive, please.’
David’s face dropped and Lee and Sue looked very uncomfortable.
‘Are you sure, Lois?’ Robert asked gently. ‘This is a wonderful opportunity for you.’
