27
BY THE TIME they left the shop, it was after 6 pm and Rachel had texted Adam and arranged to meet at Islenski Barinn. It had been easy to explain where it was and she could already see him sat in the window when she arrived. He stood up hurriedly as soon as he saw her. Rachel noticed straight away that he looked more attentive and less sure of himself than he usually did.
“Hi, I got you a glass of wine. I hope that’s alright.”
“It’s great, thank you.”
Rachel paused to look at him properly. Despite his slight nervousness, he looked just like normal. He was wearing wool trousers and a shirt and jumper underneath his tweedy jacket. Still smart. Still undeniably polished and although she hated herself for thinking it, still sexy.
“I can’t believe you came.”
“God, what a mess Rach,” he said, shaking his head with his eyes not able to meet hers. “I am so sorry, really. It felt like the only way to make you see that was to come here, and not because I’m expecting you to forgive me, but because we’ve been together for too long to let it end without a proper conversation.”
The way he said it was as if there had been no catalyst for the end of their relationship. Had he forgotten thathewas the instigator of how it all inevitably ended?
“Adam, you surely didn’t come here just to apologise.”
He opened his mouth to reply but Rachel was too quick for him.
“Youkissedsomeone else. And that’s just what I know about.”
“That’s all there is to know. I was just so stressed out with work. I know that’s no excuse, I do, but I wasn’t myself after you left. I was under so much pressure, that’s the reason I didn’t manage to come the other weekend. It wasn’t for any other reason, I promise. I lost all perspective and all I could think about was that I would lose my job if I wasn’t at work to close that deal, and I would have Rach, believe me. But it made me realise that I didn’t want to be dictated to by someone else. I’ve worked hard to get where I am and that has to mean something.”
“So, you really have left Grainger Jones?”
“Yes. I told you,” he said, looking confused.
“I know, it’s just a big decision. I was surprised how quickly you made it, that’s all.”
“Jim had approached me about going into business together so it seemed like the ideal time and although it’ll be hard work to get the new business off the ground we’ve got some great leads already and the best thing is that I won’t be a slave to anyone else.”
Rachel had to admit, he made it sound fantastic but in reality, she knew that Adam and Jim building a business together would mean even longer hours than before and the pressure of the work would be nothing compared to the pressure they’d both put on themselves to make a success of it.
“So, you think that changes things?” she said evenly.
“I think it’s an explanation, yes.”
“And nothing like this kissing business has ever happened before?”
“Not really, no.”
“That’s not a firm ‘no’, Adam.”
“Well, you know. I’m trying to be honest, Rach and in that spirit, there may have been the odd drunken kiss but I swear that’s all. And it was always work-related.”
He thought that made it alright if it was in the name of schmoozing a client or closing a deal, but it completely revolted her.
“I appreciate your honesty,” she said with a hint of sarcasm that made Adam instantly look ashamed, “but that is dreadful. I would not have dreamed of kissing anyone while we were together and I never thought you would be like that. It’s as if you’re a different person when you’re not with me.”
“It’s because I’m not with you, Rach, and I want it to be different. I want you by my side, building my business with me, doing it together, for us.”
He reached across the table and touched her fingers with his. “Please, give me another chance. It was a mistake and I know I behaved badly but it can be different.”
Rachel gazed out of the window. She didn’t know what to think. Had she made the wrong decision after all because perhaps he did deserve another chance. It niggled her that despite being sure that she was keeping the idea of her and Jonas out of her decision about Adam, it had been a factor. How could it not have been? She turned to look at Adam but as she did, caught sight of someone in a red coat out of the corner of her eye.
“Can you excuse me for a sec?” she said, pulling her hand away from Adam’s and going outside without putting her coat on.
“Jonas!” she called as he was walking away, with Olafur next to him who oddly enough was carrying both rucksacks. They must have just got back from the trip. When Jonas turned around, Rachel saw that his left arm was in a sling and he looked extremely pale, even from a distance. She ran towards him, stopping short of an embrace in case she hurt him.
