“For god’s sake,” Torben mutters with a hard shake of his head.
“I-I guess I could do it for you,” the woman answers in a dazed, far-off voice.
“Thank you.” He looks quickly down at her golden name plate. “Thank you, Asta.”
The four of us gather around her little black desk while she shuffles through a filing cabinet. When her old brown chair spins back around, she’s holding a clipboard, her pen already hovering over the page.
“Let’s see. We’ll start with a basic questionnaire. In the last three years,” she says, and my stomach suddenly twists.
What if I don’t know the answers? What if we don’t pass? Shit, why am I always so unprepared for exams like this?
“In the last three years, have you filed taxes?” She lifts her innocent face up to the four of us, and I blink at the randomness of her words.
Oh. That’s not so bad. My lips part to answer, but someone else speaks up first.
“What the fuck are taxes?” Latham answers.
And she nods.
“Mmm. I see.” Her pen scratches over the paper while Latham, Torben, and Aric whisper together about king’s gold and village dues.
“Let’s try something new,” she carries on, and I close my mouth, unsure now if my answer is needed.
Aric nods, staring at her like he’s ready to speed answer her questions and be announced the winner of Who Wants to get the Fuck Outta Hell?
“Say you’re at a traffic light. The signal turns green, but the vehicle ahead of you does not move.” She looks up at us. “What do you do?”
My lips part hesitantly but Aric is just too ready. “I fuckin’ skin him, eat his flesh, and devour his bones for wasting my fuckin’ time.”
What. The. Fuck?
My mouth falls open as I stare at him.
Torben’s brows lift and he scratches lightly at his beard, but ultimately he nods, pleased with that answer.
“Mm-hmm.” The woman makes a little mark with another quick scribble of her pen.
“Say someone leaps into a river, but they can’t swim. Would you risk your life to save theirs?” She looks at us one by one.
“Why did they get in a river if they can’t swim?” Latham whispers quietly.
“Why would I risk my life when this asshole might just dive back in?” Torben adds.
“Seems like a setup.” Aric looks to the others and they both nod. “Someone wants us dead.” More agreeing nods.
Asta jots all of those answers down, but I feel like we’re failing an exam on basic human decency. What the fuck kind of lunatic pack did I team up with here?
“I—” The woman stops writing the moment I make a single noise. “I-I’m a stronger swimmer. I could help the person in the river.”
Her empty expression lingers on me for several beats while Torben shakes his head with disappointment in my response. “People like that will get you killed, princess,” he murmurs under his breath.
“I see,” she says as she flips the page and writes something I can’t see.
“What’s your name?” she asks without looking up from her notes.
“Rhys. Rhys Love.”
With another quick note she looks directly up at me.
