They’re not telling me something. I feel it the same way I can feel how much our relationships have changed. I’m not just a job to them anymore, and they’re not just the three hot assholes who waltzed into my life and messed it all up.
And if I’m being truly honest, they didn’t mess it up at all. I’m not sure I was living until now. I’ve never felt more alive.
I’m no longer the pack’s punch line, nor their punching bag. I think… I think I’m starting to belong somewhere, or at least with someone—three someone’s to be precise—and that feels… good. Nearly as good as it was being between Aric and Latham. The pleasure is different, but both kinds are just as addictive.
Aric, Latham, and yes, even Torben have embedded themselves into my heart more than anyone ever has before.
I’m not the same girl I was when they arrived, and I’d like to think these men are different now too.
We mean something to each other. We’re a misfit pack now. So why the fuck are they keeping secrets from me?
Latham’s fingers tighten on mine, his thumb stroking sure, even sweeps over my skin. It settles the worry swirling through my mind and my heart skips a beat at the crooked smile he offers. I could lick that dimple that pops in his cheek just above the curve of his lips.
Bringing my hand to his mouth, he brushes a sweet kiss over my knuckles in a possessive way that has my ovaries swooning.
It’s the perfect distraction from the scorching hot metal bridge we’re crossing. The molten iron sears away at the soles of my boots, and I don’t dare touch anything for fear of losing flesh. The sizzling river rushes below us, promising death if I lose my balance and fall in. Torben’s right at my back like a giant bodyguard. I swear he thinks I’m going to have a ditzy blonde moment and just teeter off the edge and go for a quick flaming hot swim.
I could grumble about it, because so far every time he’s had to save me has either been because I was following their directions or for a good cause, but there’s something oddly endearing about the giant man worrying about me enough to be on alert.
And I have the feeling he doesn’t want me to notice. So I’ll play blissfully unaware while silently letting him protect me in that brooding, surly way of his.
“Alright, so far I took on ice giants, survived a kraken, tricked an ogre over a cliff, and rode a dragon—”
“Yeah, you did,” Aric adds to that last one. He sounds so cocksure, but honestly, he should be. I clench my thighs just thinking about our time together until I force myself to focus as we step off the end of the bridge and gather there.
“What’s next?” Apprehension flits through my stomach like a hummingbird on crack. I get that we’re not going to just get to waltz into Hell. One can only hope, but I’ve never been the lucky type.
But really, what else could there be? I see the castle, it’s right there.
My mom is right there.
“I’m not sure I’ve ever met anyone this eager to cross Hell’s gates.” Torben’s censure cuts through me as easily as a knife through butter.
“I’m not eager to go to Hell,” I correct him with a shake of my head. “I’m eager to see my mother.”
“Of course you are,” Latham soothes. “It’s been a long time since you’ve seen her.”
He says it like he doesn’t know, and I wonder how much they knew before they were sent to fetch me.
“I’ve never met her.” I swallow carefully and pretend not to feel the sting of those words. The little girl who spent every birthday wishing for her mother is bared to them, that vulnerable part of me wide open for them to see.
I try to cover it, but Torben surprises me by lifting my chin with a large, hooked finger. “There’s no shame in missing what you should’ve had.” Mossy green eyes bore intently into mine. It’s like he knows just how many stars I wished on, how many nights I lay awake waiting on her, how many hopeless days passed before I finally gave up.
Sure, I wondered about a father from time to time, but it isn’t the same. Part of me has always felt like I could hear her calling to me. Like her voice was always burned into the back of hidden memories I just couldn’t reach.
And Torben, he understands because he’s just as broken as I am.
Our damage breathes between the scant inches separating us.
Just like that, he gives me permission to grieve, and it’s the greatest gift I’ve ever received.
No one tells you it’s okay not to be okay. That it’s okay to cry, to yell, to feel. To wish on a million stars and be disappointed when none of them come true. It’s okay to fall apart sometimes, as long as we find ourselves again in the aftermath. And more importantly, that it’s okay to find new happiness.
Mine just happened to come in the shape of three hellish gods I never saw coming.
The way Torben looks at me forms an unbreakable bond, and if nothing else ever develops between us, we have this trust like I’ve never felt with anyone in my entire life.
I swallow and the warrior god drops his hand after a prolonged moment. I miss his touch when it’s gone and I dip my head, sure it’s written all over my face.
