“I’m ordinary,” I whisper with so much sadness weighting my words, I feel them sinking right back down deep into my chest.
I’m not ready to talk about the way Nyra looked at me like she hated me. But the basic parts of me that are lacking, that’s something I can admit to.
“What?”
“I—I—I’m not even beautiful. It was a lie. My mother lied. I’m not—I’m not beautiful,” I shriek the ridiculous thoughts out so fast that I can’t even make sense of them.
And it’s clear when I look at Avian’s uneasy and lost features that he can’t either.
“Cers, you’re... of course you’re beautiful.” He pulls me against him and starts stroking my hair the way you would an arrogant, hissing cat. “You know you’re beautiful. What—what the are you talking about?”
A pathetic sniffle sneaks out before I can stop it, and in the ugliest pent-up voice I can muster, I say, “But I’m notthe most beautiful. I’m average beautiful. Maybe a bit above average at best, but that’s it. You know?” I peer up at him with my duck lips quivering from the tears I’m choking back, and he just stares so blankly at me.
A beat passes as he holds me tensely like he’s holding together the last of my wavering brain cells in his very arms.
“Cers, love, I have no idea what you’re saying. Did you hit your head in the middle of the night?”
And then the tears come flooding out. Big walloping fat tears come out in wails of shaking breaths that I can’t control.
“Oh shit,” he whispers more to himself than to me.
“Nyra’s fucking Vanitee,” I cry with a flailing wave of my hands at my sides.
“Honestly, that’s the first normal thing you’ve said all morning.” He holds my head against his smooth chest, and he just waits. He doesn’t try to sooth the pain he doesn’t understand. He doesn’t press me for more.
He just clings to that patience of his while I fall apart against his strength. And he uses that strength to instill a feeling of safety. A sense that everything will eventually be alright.
And it will be.
I hope.
The tears pass, coming quieter and quieter until they dry up completely, and still, he lets me lie against him. My messy thoughts sort and align one by one, until they seem in order and able to be spoken.
With a slow exhale, I do just that.
“My mother lied to our community. I’m not a shifter. I wasn’t blessed by Goddess Moon.”
I sniffle once more, and he gives me a minute before replying.
“You’re something, though. You’ve felt the beast inside you. And you don’t need the goddess’s blessing. You’re fucking gorgeous. As for the rest, you’re definitely anything but ordinary, Cersia.” The warmth of his calm tone eases the tangle of anxiety within me.
I smile against his damp chest. My fingers trace the soft lines of his abdomen, and I cannot believe how lucky I am to have men like him in my life. They’re a pain in the ass, don’t get me wrong. But they’re a pain in my ass in the best possible way.
“We’ll figure out your heritage, Cers,” he says just before pressing a sweet kiss to the top of my head.
My entire heart melts.
It’s a lovey-dovey puddle that I have never felt before in my life.
“Avian?” I say his name like a question, and he answers just the same.
“Yeah?”
My gaze lifts, and he stares deeply into me like he sees every part of me that even I myself cannot begin to see.
“You’re incredible.” My eyes are a bit wet all over again for a different reason now. But he doesn’t give me time to wallow in those crazy emotions.
His lips press to mine, and I feel the shy smile of his as he slowly takes me in: a gentle kiss. A tease of his tongue along mine. A deepening, mind-and-body connection of his mouth devouring mine.
