“Don’t come back down here again. Don’t…don’t seek me out, and if you care at all about the last remaining mages in the world, you’ll tell them all to run. Hide. Anything, but do not bring them here just so you can all die together.”
Those ominous words slice into me so deep I feel them heavy and painful in my heart. I stare at her, and she stares adamantly right back at me. She might be afraid but she seems to want me to understand this with absolute clarity.
“Come on, Arlow.” Kain’s fingertips lightly skim along the center of my palm, his body brushing against mine, but I can’t look away from her.
She’s wrong. We need her but we don’t need her cruel words.
Are we better off without her?
“Are you wondering if I’m exaggerating?” She arches a white eyebrow at me. “I wasn’t young and naïve when mage magic was outlawed. I was old then and I’m old now. But I saw it for exactly what it was. Ellise nearly destroyed Minden. She killed hundreds of mortal men and several demons. Demons who are far stronger than you and I. What’s most shocking, was her plan was to kill the father of her child, and she would have killed her son, too, if that was the price.” Patricia’s chin tips up, and she seems stronger right now, just talking about something she’s clearly so certain of. “It isn’t that she’s more powerful than the average mage. It’s that she’s more driven. There’s no cost too high for what she wants. People like us, we have limits. If it comes down to it, I know you’ll save that man at your side rather than end all of this. That one life is more important to you. Love is a weakness in this case. And Ellise loves no one.”
I swallow hard but I can’t find any words to contradict the old mage.
She thinks Kain is weakness and she didn’t even mention the countless other people in my life who I’d fuck all our plans up just to save them.
I hate how much this woman is right.
I didn’t even realize how completely loved I am by so many. I didn’t consider it at all until I started thinking of that love as a weakness. Because of Kain, Rime, Chaos, Sinister, my parents, even Agatha, I’m weak.
“You’re wrong,” I whisper, my voice shaking just slightly. “The people who love me are the only reason I’m as strong as I am. You think I’m weak? You should have seen me before.” A strange laugh bubbles from my lips, but it’s a confused sound that’s tinged with the pressure of anxiety and fear and anger that’s storming through my chest.
I was a fucking mess of repressed emotions before three arrogant shifters had come into my life.
They’d brought my best friend back to me. They’d brought me back to my family.
They did so much for me, and I don’t think they even know.
“I’m not backing down. The mages who are here, they’re not going anywhere. Within the next twenty-four hours, we’re going to change the history of our kind. We’re going to save so many lives.” I press my palm to the cold metal lock of her cell and force magic through the gears until the door clanks with a harsh sound and opens just slightly. “Maybe you should take your own advice. Run as far away from this kingdom as your legs will carry you. But if you’re feeling like you’re tired of running, join us.” I hold her stare for several seconds, not seeing much of anything in the woman’s tired gaze.
I turn away from her, forcing myself to just let her go and make up her own mind.
Part of me hopes she’ll call out to me when I reach the stairs. I hope she’ll have a sudden awakening from my awe-inspiring little performance here tonight. My muted steps allow for even the quietest whisper to be heard should she change her mind. I make it all the way to the top of the stairs and pause there at the door. I wait with strained attention for the eldest mage to say she’ll help us.
The breath in my lungs is painful as I hold it in.
Kain’s heavy palm presses to my lower back, and still I stare into the dimness of the dungeon, peering out into nothing.
And realizing that’s exactly what I’ll get from her.
Absolutely nothing.
Fifteen
Armies and Apologies
Thunder shakesthrough the old walls of the castle for hours on end. Rain doesn’t pelt down to the frost-kissed ground, but it sounds like a storm is brewing. It’s a strange thing to glance out the bedroom window at early morning dawn but not see the cast of warm sunlight here. The days and hours seem off. Or maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’ve been locked away in this place with so few windows for so long I’m confused about when the sun should rise and when it should set.
“Within the next few hours, we should strike. That’s the best time.” Kain glances from me to Rime, but only Rime nods to him.
“Agatha isn’t here yet. She’s coming.” I need Agatha.
She’s the strongest mage I know.
My mother and her friend hover on the outskirts of our circle just behind Sin. The men keep peering back at the two of them, but Seara returns their questioning looks with an icy glare. She’s here. She’s willing to help. But she is clearly not here to make friends.
And that’s okay.
“We’ll have to do it without her.” Sin lifts his hands apologetically to me. His crimson attention is kind and gentle despite how strung tight his shoulders are right now. “Ellise wakes early. We have an hour window if we go right now. Catching her in her sleep is the easiest way.”
