“Did you say you loved me?” His half smile lifts even more, his eyes shining as he sways my hands, toying with my body just slightly.
“I—I think I did love you,” I whisper more to myself than to him. I don’t know why it feels like I lost him. He’s right in front of me, but I know that I lost the man that I loved.
The man I loved is gone. And so is that girl who loved him.
His teeth sink into his lower lip slowly and my heart skips a beat as I wait for him to acknowledge what I just admitted. He leans closer, sitting up, releasing my hands just to push his palms slowly down the length of my spine. Our chests meld together perfectly as he aligns our hips more firmly together.
“And now?” His temple leans against mine as he breaths me in.
“And now I’m so broken from love I can’t even say the word to anyone else, Sin.”
His eyes close. Not a hint of his sexy smile can be seen. Only deep regret lines his sharp features.
“I’m sorry, Arrie.” He holds me close as he whispers against my lips.
Fluttering hope fills my chest when I realize how close my mouth is to his.
And then all that hope crashes between us.
“I think kissing you is a bad idea,” he says.
“What?” I pull back, allowing an inch of space between our words and he chases that space until his mouth skims against mine once again.
“I said it was a bad idea. I love bad ideas. My whole life is built on them.” His hooded eyes bore into mine with too much seriousness. “You’re going to break my heart, Arlow. And I’ll gladly let you. Again. And again.”
His lips press to mine in a promising way. My chest aches from what he just said to me, but I can’t help but react to his body. My fingers thread through his soft hair. The gentle, sweet way he kissed me all those years ago isn’t here. His teeth nip at my lower lip, pulling a gasp from me and he sweeps his tongue against mine the moment I open for him. The outline of his hard length grows against my core and when I feel it, his fingers fist into my skirt just above my ass as if he’s forcing himself not to push my hips down onto his cock.
A humming sound of my moan skims against his lips, his tongue slowing the moment he hears it. His grip on me loosens, his body becoming less rigid as he presses slower, gentler kisses against my lips.
Until he finally pulls away.
Heavy breaths fan between us as he searches my eyes. His voice is a sexy sound when he speaks again. “And you think, as friends, we should start doing this more often?”
I nod quickly.
“I need rules or I’m going to end up fucking you right now and screwing up this platonic friendship we have going. Once a day or several times a day?”
Another irrational nod of my head. “Probably several.”
The moment I say it his lips slam against mine all over again. He drags out the moment this time, sliding his tongue ever so slowly against mine, tasting me over and over again until I’m trembling for his hands to roam further.
But he never does.
His arms are locked stiffly around me, his fingers fisting in the fabric of my skirt as he kisses me like it’s all he’s thought about for years.
Because that’s exactly how it’s been for me.
Eleven
Beautifully Broken
I fellsleep in that bed before the sun ever set, curled up around my friend just like I used to. Sinister is gone when I wake though. I know he’s gone because of how cold the fingers pulling at my hair are. Rime toys with it gently, letting the soft feel of it run through his fingers. It’s relaxing. So relaxing I don’t immediately let him know I’m awake.
“You look at her differently,” Chaos’ whispers from somewhere a bit further away.
And then I’m really listening.
My spine stiffens as I force myself to stay stoically still. My breathing hitches even as I try my best to keep it unnoticeably steady.
