The white carpet silenced his steps as he wandered over to the couch again, putting space between us as he stared me.
“What the fuck is happening in my life right now?” he whispered under his breath, as if asking the gods themselves instead of me. As if they’d answer.
He pushed his hand pushed through his pale hair, and he slowly sank down on the cushions. I followed after him. Cautiously, I took a seat at his side. My weight shifted closer to his as the couch dipped. The warmth of his leg brushed against mine, reminding me of how much sex I’d just watched.
“When I gave you my computer, I assumed you’d use it to watch a movie or for research.”
“Are you mad?” My eyes narrowed on his but he didn’t seem angry. Flushed but not angry.
“No, I’m not mad. A little curious if you’re a sex addict but not mad.” His sharp features softened as his eyes closed slowly. “This is a company computer.” He paused but I didn’t really understand why he looked so anguished. “Our IT department monitors the use of company property.”
“Wow.” I nodded, and he mimicked the gesture. “You’re going to pay a whole department of men to rewatch my four hours of pornography?”
A painful sounding puff of annoyance slipped past his lips as he nodded. "That wasn't exactly my plan, no."
He was clearly annoyed, but I wasn't sure why that was my fault. If he hadn't wanted me watching people having sex, then his computer shouldn’t have offered it. There wasn't any reason for him to kick off at me.
I felt stupid almost. I didn’t know. There was apparently a learning curve where pornography was concerned.
Every time I thought I was getting the hang of this world, something always ruined it.
I always ruined it.
Maybe he'd understand better if I told him what Alex and I really were. We hadn't exactly lied,per se.
"Sorry," I murmured, more because it felt like the right thing to do than I was actually sorry. Sex was a human thing. And it had been a long, long time for me. I was bound to get curious about if it had changed over time.
I mean, that woman in the film looked like things had definitely changed. I didn’t remember enjoying myself quite like she had.
My head tilted at the man sitting close enough to physically touch. Sharp angles curved his features as his head tipped back to the ceiling. His eyes closed once again. Exhaustion like I’d never seen clung to his face. He was young. Young and innocent and filled with life. A life worth living.
But he wasn’t living it at all.
Not yet.
The column of his neck was smooth against my fingertips. Hesitant but bold movements guided my palm up his neck.
Tension struck through him. The even breaths halted as he simply waited. He didn’t flinch away from me or mock me for my curiosity. It had been centuries since someone actually wanted me near them. I was used to being tolerated. I wasn’t used to having someone show me kindness.
And that was all Zavier had done.
When he didn’t jerk away from me, I took it as an invitation of sorts. I turned closer to him. His warmth swarmed my body, pulling me closer to the comforting feel of his skin against mine. My thumb brushed over his full bottom lip and his mouth parted with a quiet breath.
Smooth skin brushed against my chest, his arm pressing against my body minimally. As my head dipped closer to his, he finally spoke.
“What are you doing, Hope?” His lashes fluttered but he didn’t open his pretty amber eyes to me.
“Nothing,” I said, with a small knowing smile.
His palm clasped around my wrist before he trailed it slowly down the length of my arm, sending a shiver all through me.
“Do you really think Ashton would like the way you’re doing nothing with me?” His taunting words drifted through my mind, daring me in some way.
“Doyouthink you’ll spend all of your mortal life wondering what others will think?Or,” I let a heavy pause settle into that word, “do you think you’ll actually live your own life someday?”
At that, his eyes did open. They collided with mine with so much confusion I felt bad for him. If he knew how quickly our lives could be taken away, he wouldn’t waste another day.
And suddenly, another day would not be wasted.
