Chapter Thirteen
Ours
Every decision I’ve ever made flies through my mind as my stomach turns, threatening to vomit up every ounce of anxiety that’s building within me.
“I just don’t know,” I whisper.
Ryder nods, his sky-blue eyes wide as he assesses the lavender colored curtains of the bedroom I’ve shut myself away in. He trailed in after me and didn’t say a word. His presence is nice, but his silence is even nicer right now. He seems lost in a trance of his own fearful thoughts.
Is he as terrified as I am? Is he terrified of bringing the most innocent of life into this most awful world?
“I just …” A heavy exhale leaves my lips. “I don’t even know how this happened.”
A line creases his brow and ever so slowly he pins me with a stunned look. The worry in his face turns to ridicule as he stares at me as if to ask ifAre you fucking serious right now?
Every delicious, drawn out minute I’ve ever spent with Ryder buried deep inside of me flashes through my mind, making me shift slightly with the memories.
All the times I’ve gotten caught up with Daxdyn and lost myself with Darrio skim through my thoughts on repeat.
“Okay, I know exactly how it happened.” I roll my eyes at him before falling back on the bed. The mattress is soft beneath me. Without thinking, my palm settles over the smooth span of my stomach as if I’m attempting to protect the little life that’s growing helplessly inside of me.
A mixture of worry and fear twirls through me as I study the texture of the white ceiling above.
The mattress dips, pulling me closer to Ryder as he takes a seat at the edge of the bed.
The warmth of his rough palm pushes slowly across my navel. My eyes meet his in an intensity of clashing emotions. A look of marvel is in his gaze, washing out the dreaded anxiety he previously held.
“Do …” He swallows hard as his thumb begins to skim back and forth against my skin. “Do you know whose it is?”
There’s something intimate and exponentially extraordinary about the way he’s looking at me.
He’s scared. Just like me. He’s not afraid of what our future holds, but what this child’s future holds.
And I understand that entirely.
This beautiful fae baby will be perfect. Every part of it will be entirely perfect. But this world will take that perfection away.
So quickly.
And it scares the shit out of me.
I take a minute to consider the first time Dax and I had sex. And then Ryder. And then … both.
What the fuck is happening in my life for me to be this confused about every single thing?
“It’s … not Darrio’s.” He can’t have kids. I don’t say it out loud. I might never.
I don’t know why that strikes a piercing pain through my chest.
Darrio would be a good dad. Even if he pretends not to care about the topic at all. I know he does.
Ryder’s large hand spans my abdomen as he skims his palm across my skin in a gentle way. His touch sends waves of tingles all through me.
I can’t believe I was so careless. So reckless. There was just all this other stuff clouding over our lives recently, a child didn’t cross my mind.
Until now.
“You know it doesn’t matter, right?” He lies on his side, his body curling into mine as he holds me. Warm breath fans against my jaw as I let the worry that’s tightening my chest consume me until I can’t even breathe. “It doesn’t matter, beautiful.” His lips skim across my cheek. “We’re a family. We always have been.” For some reason, the comment pushes out some of the rising anxiety. “We’re a family now. You’re ours. This baby will be ours.”
