I nod slowly, my head feeling heavy. The room spins just slightly. An unseen voice that sinks right into me begins to sing, caressing the room with her soft tone.
The dim lighting of the bar hides some of the features of the patrons here. Some are like the pretty bartender; obviously different. While some are like Ryder and Mesa; beautiful and alluring but human-like for the most part.
My head tilts down, studying the glossy bar top. The pale lighting shines down on it, amplifying my reflection. I look down at my features. Stark black wings loom behind white blonde hair. Wide green eyes look back at me, appearing as confused as I feel.
Ryder went to get us a room almost ten minutes ago. Before he left, he warned me not to draw attention to myself.
Easy for him to say.
He’s not walking around with a twelve-foot wingspan strapped to his back.
They’re tucked in as tight as possible against my frame, but everyone I pass looks at me in awe. As if they’ve just seen a living, breathing angel.
I’m not an angel.
Angels are pure and kind and powerful.
They certainly don’t make a habit of sleeping with twin brothers … do they?
Another fizzing drink is sat in front of me. I drink it down before I have time to dwell on another terrible thought of my messed up life.
As the strange energy of the fizzing drink makes itself at home within my bloodstream, my worries begin to tumble away. The room spins in shades of mossy greens and neon pinks. I blink the strange colors away.
I lean back, my body swaying to the woman’s melodious voice. When my wings hit solid muscle, I tip my head up and I smile at the brilliant blue eyes that meet mine. Ryder’s eyes are like looking at a sapphire up close. Pale hues streak through the light blue, and I find myself studying every dark lash that lines his gorgeous gaze.
The bizarre pink color slashes across my vision and I struggle to blink it away.
“Did you even pause to consider the name of that drink?”
I pull my lips together, attempting to smother out my smile. “Hmmm, Asinine. It does sound a little regrettable.”
My body melds into his chest, taking comfort in his strength that’s surrounding me. Warm hands clasp around my hips. He lets me lean against him and, if I’m not mistaken, a hint of a smile is shining in those beautiful blues.
“You’re a handful,” he whispers, leaning his forehead against the crown of my head. A long exhale fans across my blonde locks.
“I’m a fuck up.” I keep my eyes fixed on each bolt that’s lining the dark ceiling. Another flash of green dances through my vision.
His step mother’s gargling gasp is still pronounced in my mind. I hear it as if she’s still gasping right in front of me.
Once again, I blink away the colors and the memory of Ryder’s step mother’s death.
“You’re not a fuck up. Not any more than is expected, anyway.”
His fingers dig into my skin, turning me to face him. He holds my hips as if I need him to support my swaying frame.
“What’s wrong with you?” he asks.
The darkness of the room shadows his pale features, clinging to the strong angles of his jawline. I want to keep my focus on his handsome face. I don’t want to think about my life and the things I’ve done, or the problems I’m avoiding, or the men I lo—care about who I turned my back on.
I shouldn’t have left Darrio and Daxdyn in the mortal realm. I should have tried harder to stay. Not that Darrio let me have much of a say in the matter.
“I can’t go back there.” The weight of my head finally settles into the center of Ryder’s soft shirt. Strong arms wrap around me instantly, brushing the underside of my wings.
“What are you talking about, beautiful?” His hand strokes my long locks as his chin rests against the top of my hair.
My hands start to shake, but I fist them into the hem of his shirt and swallow hard.
“Tho—those fucking people want me to save them. They actually think I can save them.” I bite my lower lip before breathing out an empty laugh. “I can’t even save myself.” He pulls me tighter against him, my weak voice muffling into his chest. “I killed her. I killed her out of pure vengeance. She was old, Ryder. She was an old woman and I slaughtered her.” I’m drunkenly babbling but I can’t stop the words from leaving my lips. My eyes clench closed, wishing to never open again. To never have to look at myself in the mirror again.
