I let out a heavy breath, the tension leaving my shoulders. See? Able to breathe again.
“Hey, you… Yeah, of course I missed you.” I smile at no one, since he’s calling audio only. There’s music and chatter in the background, there always is. He lives music; hebreathesmusic. Every drum and every beat resonates into his very soul. It’s who he is, and it’s who I love.
“I missed you, too. I can’t call for long; the show just ended, and we have a fucking mandatory afterparty soon. The film crew is here for that stupid music video. They’ve been following us around for the last couple of days.” He sounds almost irritated, which is odd because, as far as I know, my Jace doesn’t have any trouble with partying, and he’s a natural at performing. It doesn’t matter if it’s in front of a camera or in front of an audience when he’s on stage. They all love him.
“Is everything okay?” I halt halfway up to my room, frowning when it stays silent on the other end. “Jace?”
He finally sighs. “I can’t make it to your birthday.”
I swear something inside of me withers and dies.
Iknewit.
I justdid. Usually, I’m not a doom-and-gloom kinda person. I’m the one in any group that’s calm, gentle, and just takes life in stride as it comes. Not much strays me from my path, my goals. Mom always calls me an old soul. Not sure if it’s a compliment or an insult, but the description sort of seems to fit.
I rub my face with my free hand as I enter my room and slam the door closed behind me a bit too hard.
“Ty?” Jace inquires when I stay silent. He sounds just as broken as I feel right now. “I’m so,sosorry. I really,really wantedto come, but they’re not letting me go, dammit. The label has planned two interviews and a meet and greet the morning of the next gig. And they fucking want to shoot more for the video clip. Missy just told me a couple of minutes ago.”
“It’s okay,” I say after swallowing the hurt away and sitting down on my bed, even though my voice sounds anythingbutokay. “Maybe I can come to you? I’ll sit the interviews and recording out, of course, but maybe we can find some time to hang? Show me the bus and everything? I think I’ve saved enough to afford a plane ticket.” It would put a dent in my budget for the upcoming two semesters, but it would be worth it.
“How?Your parents are catering that big wedding the day after your birthday, right? I was supposed to help as well.”
Shit, I knew committing to that thing was a bad idea. With Jace’s crazy schedule and the only consecutive days he had off from gigs, it was the best we could come up with at the time. That he would help my parents since I already said I would, and I don’t want to disappoint them. This wedding is a big deal for them.
But still… “I can probably cancel. Mom would understand.”
I can practicallyhearhim shaking his head. “No. No, I don’t want you to do that. Shit, I know she would. But youpromisedher; I did as well. She said it’s a very important wedding, and I feelsofucking bad already for having to bail on her…”
I know that. Of course I know that, since I’ve been hearing about this wedding for months now. But, shit…
“Don’t you want to see me?”
“I do. Babe, you know I do. So,so,bad.”
“Then why don’t you want me to come over?” God, I sound like a whiny bitch.
“Idowant you to come over, and I’m going to do my very best to see if we can fix something in the next couple of weeks okay? But you have to help your parents. I can’t stand that I have to cancel on her. But she’s yourmom,and I already feel bad that I can’t follow through on my promise to help. I don’t want to pull you away from the wedding, either.”
Christ. I rub my face in annoyance.Yes,he’s had some weird worship for my mother ever since he met her and doesn’t want to disappoint her. And yes, sheneedsthe extra hands. So, Igetit. Doesn’t mean Ilikeit. Fuck this shit.
“The tour is still ten more weeks,” I mumble. “With training starting up again before college starts, I won’t have the time to meet.” I won’t see him until mid-October, and I haven’t seen him since early freakingJune.
“I know. Iknow. Shit, I’m so,sosorry,” he repeats. “But I’m going to put our manager on this, makesomethinghappen in our schedule, okay? I fucking promise I’ll see you before those ten weeks are up.”
I rub my face as I sigh. “Yeah okay. We’ll make something happen. It’s not your fault, Jacie. But shit, I justmissyou.”
“I miss you, too. More thananything, please believe me. I’m home for four months after this tour ends. That’s something, right? Four entire months? I have to go to LA every couple of days to record and for other shit… But it’s an easy commute.”
“Yeah, I guess so…” I let myself fall backward on my stupid bed, staring at the stupid ceiling of my stupid room, not letting myself eventhinkabout the possibility that he can fix a meetup for the near future. “What are you doing?” I ask when the background music on his end of the line fades.
“I’m walking back to the bus. Fuck the afterparty and the video.”
“Why?”
“Because I will not party it up and pretend to be fucking happy in front of a camera when you’re sad.”
“At least one of us is,” I grumble in a low voice.
