‘You’re not ashamed of being friends with me, because of—’
‘Oh, God no!’ he says quickly. ‘No, no, it’s the opposite, actually. It’s like – it’s like what we have and what we had before is so special and personal to me that I don’t want to … I know this sounds silly, but I like to think of this as just ours. It’s too special to share, not even with Les, because no one else understands. Maybe I know deep down we keep growing closer and I’m—’
‘Don’t say any more, please.’
‘Sorry, OK, I won’t,’ he tells me. ‘Right, I’d better go. I’ll chat to you later again, yeah?’
‘Of course,’ I whisper. ‘Bye, David.’
I sit there on the bench for a few moments when he hangs up, holding my phone in my lap. I breathe out, long and slowly, and make my way to work at the hospital, replaying the conversation with David in my mind the whole way.
He said what we had was too special to put into words and he didn’t want to share it with anyone, not even his own fiancée. He said we are growing closer and closer. Maybe we should call a halt to it right now, before this goes any further. Maybe we should be honest and true with each other, knowing that – no matter how connected our hearts are on so many levels – in the real world it could never be.
I imagine his father’s face that day when I called at the house. I imagine my own family’s confusion as to how I would even think we could be friends, and it all frightens me a little inside. I imagine if Lesley heard our conversations or read our messages – how would she feel? And could we honestly say it was always innocent and above board? I don’t think we could.
It’s going to take me a while to get my head round all of this but equally I’m going to have to do my best not to overthink it.
‘Aargh!’ I say out loud just before I go in through the hospital gates. Why does life have to be so bloody complicated sometimes?
And why is my unruly heart trying to rule my always very sensible head when it comes to David Campbell?
I already can’t wait to hear from him again, which is wrong and I know it.
DAVID
‘You’ve made quite an impression on our young students since you first came through our doors two years ago,’ my headmaster Andrew Spence begins. He has called me into his office at home time, gesturing me to take a seat across from him. I do as I’m told, wondering where this conversation might be going as I was really hoping to make a quick exit home and grab a bite to eat before I hit my midweek training session at the rugby club.
‘You’ve a great rapport with the students here, David,’ he continues, ‘and believe me it hasn’t gone unnoticed on a behavioural level, and also on an academic level too.’
I smile at the unexpected compliment from a man who, for some reason, I didn’t really think was particularly aware of my existence. St Michael’s is a large school, with over 1,200 pupils, and I had been warned that sometimes as a teacher it was very easy to slip into the background and feel as if you were just a number to Mr Andrew Spence. He is known to have a head for practicality and a heart that’s sometimes hard to find.
‘I think my own life experience helps with that,’ I tell him. ‘I like to keep in mind that every single one of them has their own story, and never to take it for granted when they turn up and take a seat in my classroom each day, despite what’s going on in their own world.’
He smiles as if I’ve just scored another point, as if what he’s called me in here for just made even more sense.
‘Are you happy here in your job?’ he asks me, and I immediately wonder if there’s a right or wrong answer to his question.
‘Very much so,’ I say. ‘I take my work very seriously here, but like to connect as best I can with the young people. They have an important voice and I enjoy hearing what they have to say.’
‘It shows,’ he says, before a blanket of silence fills the room. Should I speak again? Should I agree or just wait? I’ve no idea where this is going or what to say.
He opens a grey file in front of him and flicks through the pages as I wait on what might be coming next.
‘With all that in mind, I’d like to say congratulations to you, David,’ he tells me at last. ‘Congratulations on being appointed as our new head of science here at St Michael’s. I truly believe you’re the ideal candidate for the job and I wish you well in what will be, I’ve no doubt, a very bright future in teaching our new generation of scientists.’
I feel a bit dizzy as his words sink in and I seriously don’t know what to say.
‘That’s … that’s a really big surprise but such good news!’ I reply to him at last, totally taken aback at his announcement.
I’ve only been at the school two years and feel in many ways that I’m still settling in, but I know my relationship with my students has been smooth and productive. Nonetheless, this is still a huge but very welcome shock.
‘I’ll give you a day or two to think about it, of course,’ he continues, getting up now to show me to the door. ‘Just so you have time to consider all the extra responsibility that comes with the new post, but I’ve every faith in you and your capability to deliver. I can see our pupils positively glow in your presence, David. You’re proving to be very inspirational, and that in a teacher is worth its weight in gold.’
‘Thank you, Mr Spence. That means a lot coming from you.’
‘Andrew,’ he tells me.
There’s no way I will ever get used to calling him by his first name, not even if I was to be principal myself one day.
