‘Aidan, Mabel has booked tickets for Ben and me to visit New York for the weekend!’ I exclaim. ‘We’re coming to see you! Oh my goodness, I can’t wait to tell Ben!’
I watch him on screen, sitting in his favourite coffee shop, which I now know is called Bean, and a place where they know him so well they keep him a seat at the same time every day, but his voice drops to a whisper.
‘This weekend?’ he asks, his mood not exactly matching mine. ‘Hang on! I’m not getting this at all. Why is Mabel sending you to New York this weekend?’
I try to ignore the slight edge in his voice and focus on the job at hand.
‘Let me read out her letter and see,’ I reply, my handsshaking as I pull it from the envelope. ‘I’m sure all will be explained right here.’
Visiting Aidan in New York has always been on my radar, but no matter how much I tried to fit it in or work around it, there was always something to make me put it off for just another while. Ben’s school commitments were a biggie, but there’s no excuse for that now as school has packed up for summer. Camille had offered on numerous occasions to have Ben for a whole weekend if I’d wanted to go to see Aidan myself, but there was no way I could have done that without Ben. He is still totally absorbed in all things New York related and is convinced that we would be going there together, so I couldn’t let him down. Then, there is the huge subject of money, not that I’d ever admit that to Aidan. I’d bought the cottage almost five years ago now, with life assurance money after Jude’s passing (and looking back, I must admit to having a slight moment of glee at how careless and carefree he would think I was for doing so) and apart from a few thousand left over I’d tucked away for Ben’s education, I’ve been managing nicely on my payment from Truly Vintage and am looking forward to making a little extra with my own craft collection. Jude would have hated me doing so, which makes me even more driven to succeed.
I carefully open out the letter from Mabel, putting any worries about money and passports or other practicalities to the side for now until I see what she has to say as excitement and anticipation spills over me.
My dear Aidan and Roisin,she writes so elegantly in fine black ink on thick cream, textured paper.
I’m writing to you this time using old-fashioned pen and paper, as I’m not feeling so good today and although I’d planned to make all my little messages by video, it took me a while to think of this one and to see it all through.
Believe it or not, one of my biggest regrets in life was not travelling more and exploring the wonderful world we live in.
In fact, let me tell you a secret – despite my claims to be so worldly and wise as I shell out advice to you both, until Peter took me to Ireland and showed me all the delights of his home land, I’d never stopped to believe that life even existed out of New York City!
Yes, indeed, I’ve lived almost eighty years on this planet, but I never, ever ventured out of my comfort zone too far – oh how I wish I could turn back time and go see the world! I wish I’d have lived in different places! Tried out new things!
When you’re stuck in your own bubble of work and play, a calendar year seems like a big chunk of your time, but when you look back, you realize how it goes in a heartbeat. So make every year count if you can be bold enough to! No one is stuck in any place for ever. No one is too busy to try out something new.
One of my biggest admirations for you both, Aidan and Roisin, was your courage to make things happen, totake the bull by the horns and make the changes you needed to, to make your lives better.
Roisin, I’d love you to visit the street where I lived with Peter, the cabaret club that became my second home, the streets we walked and the places we loved so dearly, and some of the friends who made me the person I became as I grew older – oh, and make sure Aidan shows you how he lives there too. You just might like it!
I only wish I could be there with the three of you on what I hope will be a wonderful experience!
Take lots of photos, make lots of memories, smile, breathe it in, and experience as much as you can.
With all my love for ever,
Mabel
PS Roisin, I know you keep your passport in a little box in your kitchen cupboard. I checked your dates. You’re all good to go! Enjoy!
I burst out laughing, partly with shock, but most of all I’m so impressed at Mabel’s attention to detail and at how she even checked my passport. I know now that someone will have definitely been helping her with her little ‘four seasons’ project, but I’ve no idea who, and I’m already itching to get home and pack my bags to see the Big Apple, not to mention to see Aidan, who I’ve been pining for, for months now.
Yet he doesn’t seem to share the same enthusiasm, and I try to ignore his look of panic and distress.
‘Are you sure you can drop everything and just come here this weekend?’ he asks, shaking his head in disbelief. ‘What about work? I’m not sure I can change my schedule at such short notice. I’ve made it no secret at how everything over the next few weeks has to go like clockwork if I’m to make my escape from here, Roisin.’
My bubble bursts just a little as I realize Mabel’s assumption so long ago would be that we would spend time with Aidan, but how would she have known those dates would suit someone so busy? They evidently don’t.
My stomach sinks. Does he not want to see us? Is the timing really so bad that he couldn’t show just a little bit of excitement at the prospect of us finally seeing the city that he’s called home for so long?
‘We … we won’t interrupt you, I promise,’ I tell him, trying my best to understand where he’s coming from, but at the same time not letting him flatten the mood and the potential of spending even a few hours together at last. ‘I’ll plan loads of sightseeing with Ben and if we even get to have one lunch or dinner with you then the trip will be worth it.’
‘I’m sorry, Roisin, I don’t mean to be a misery,’ he says now rubbing his eyes. ‘I’ve just been under so much pressure and I can’t drop everything now when it’s been going so long.’
I try to hide the disappointment in my voice.
‘I understand, Aidan. I totally understand,’ I whisper,feeling tears prick my eyes. ‘We’ll do our own thing and if you can see us for even just a little while over the weekend that will be a bonus.’
I know that deep down, despite the sick feeling in my stomach at his subdued reaction, I do understand. He’s been busting his gut to work towards his big finale in November when his company, or rather Bruce Bowen’s company, is in line to pick up one of the biggest contracts awarded in the property business at a glitzy hand-over ceremony, so I shouldn’t be too shocked that he can’t just stop everything for our unexpected visit.
