Thankfully, her den stood nearest to the stairs, and the moment she brushed aside the silk hanging in the doorway and stepped inside, comfortable quiet greeted her. Callie closed her eyes and let out a long, slow exhalation. She could still hear muffled, faraway voices as the others talked below.
Diego had been a nurse on Earth, and he’d naturally fallen into the role of doctor in their group. He’d even been learning more about the vrix in order to help them with their ailments as best he could.
Will, who’d been an information technology tech, had fortunately found his place working alongside Diego as a healer. There weren’t exactly many computers on this planet.
Lacey had run her own business on Earth, selling homemade soaps, shampoos, oils, teas, honey, and baked goods. Herknowledge was being used now to supply the humans with those little necessities and comforts.
Cole had been a construction worker, and his skills had been invaluable in building the human dens here in Kaldarak. His woodworking projects were beloved by human and vrix alike. And his experience from hunting and camping for most of his life left him in an excellent position to provide for their community.
Ahmya, who’d been a florist in her former life, had also found purpose here. The garden she’d established at her new den was already providing the humans with some vegetables, herbs, and ingredients for Lacey’s teas. On top of that, she was apprenticing under Rekosh, learning to sew and make clothing for the other humans.
And Ivy… Callie couldn’t put into words her admiration for that woman. Ivy had been introduced to the vrix, to this world, alone. She’d had to learn an alien language and how to survive in this jungle in real time. She’d nearly died many times, including once when she’d eaten a food that was safe for vrix but had made her terribly ill. Everything she’d eaten had been trial and error. A risk. She hadn’t even had the luxury of the few items the humans had salvaged from the ship—fire starters, extra clothing, rations, boots, lanterns, a food scanner, metal knives.
Ivy had said she was no one on Earth. She’d been lost, homeless, trapped, desperate. Here, she’d become a survivor. A leader. An inspiration. And now she was a mother too. She had a purpose.
I don’t.
Callie helped everywhere she could. She helped Lacey make her soaps, helped with the cooking, helped Diego and Will whenever they needed an extra hand. She’d helped Cole a couple times, though she usually felt like she was in his way despite howgrateful he always was for the assistance. She’d tended Ahmya’s plants with her before Ahmya had changed dens.
A well of emotions expanded within Callie’s chest, constricting her lungs, and once more, she felt like she was on the verge of tears.
In her old life, she’d never really had anyone there for her. Instead, she’d had those goals, those expectations, and they’d kept her grounded. They’d given her direction. It was easy to know which way to go when the path had been laid out in advance.
But here…here, she was adrift on the open ocean without a sail, without oars. The goals she’d been chasing when she boarded theSomniumwere meaningless now, and the expectations had vanished. For the first time in memory, she just had to…be. And though that seemed like it should’ve been laughably simple, she wasn’t even sure how to start. The growing anxiety crawling under her skin insisted that she should’ve been working toward something.
She was flailing. Floundering. What would give her meaning here? What would fill the chasm left by the absence of those goals, by the loss of that lofty mission?
You’ve got to be the only person on this whole planet who’s crumbling because you don’t have enough pressure on you, Callie.
To her frustration, that thought only sharpened the sting in her eyes.
I’m not going to cry. I’mnotgoing to cry.
She opened her eyes and blinked rapidly, letting out one calming breath after another. She swept her gaze around her home—the thick pallet on the floor that was her bed, the earthy tones of the sheer silk decorating the walls, the vase of fresh flowers on the table beneath the window, the clothes hangingneatly on their pegs, and the chest of tools on the floor near the doorway.
Her chest felt even tighter. Because ultimately, despite containing all her possessions, this room was empty. Cold. Lonely.
How she wished there was someone here to just…holdher. To comfort her, to ground her when she felt like she was losing herself. To look at her and see her, to tell her she was Callie…and that Callie was all she needed to be.
Her eyes settled upon the oval limestone bowl sitting atop the nightstand. A shaky smile curved her lips. She walked to the bowl, knelt on the floor, and peered inside. To anyone else, it was just a bowl full of rocks. Nothing special. But to Callie, each one of these stones was a precious gift.
From Urkot.
She ran her fingers over them. There were so many colors, ranging from neutral, earthy browns and grays to vibrant splashes of red, green, blue and purple. Some possessed stripes, some had swirls, some bore glimmering flecks of minerals. And mixed in were chunks of crystal both rough and smooth, some of which glowed at night.
Urkot had given each one of these to her simply because they were pretty and he knew she would like them. It was thoughtful and so incredibly sweet. And as far as she knew, he only did this for her.
Once more, her mind turned to the prospect of taking him as her mate.
She knew vrix tended to be forward when it came to matters of mating. They weren’t shy about declaring themselves and their desires. Yet while Urkot had made some indications, such as the possessive way he often touched Callie, or how he looked at her like he wanted to devour her, he’d never said anything. He’d never laid claim upon her.
But Callieknewhe was interested. Alien or no, there was no mistaking it.
So what was holding Urkot back?
CHAPTER 5
Callie smoothedher hands down her body and over her silky dress. It was sleeveless, with thin, double straps that wrapped around the back of her neck, a tight-cinched waist, and a flaring skirt hanging midway down her thighs. The beautiful cornflower blue material was ruffled at the hem, and it fluttered and caressed her legs with her every movement. She cupped her breasts, which were hugged by the snug bodice. The neckline, dipping in a low V, showed off a generous amount of cleavage.
