“No, please—” she started meekly, but he’d crossed the small distance between them and gathered her in his arms. She couldn’t help but gasp again.
“I won’t have them treat you this way,” he growled, even as his eyes softened.
“What way?”
He jerked his head to their spartan surroundings. “This! As if you were some… some…”
“Employee?” Susanna supplied sadly.
Realization came over him, his features falling in a heartbreaking manner. He pulled her harder against him and kissed her, rough and urgent. Susanna allowed herself to melt into him, his warmth and strength a reassurance against her uncomfortable thoughts.
Finally she pulled away, leaving one hand to linger gently on his cheek. “It’s fine, please. I assure you I am quite alright.”
“No, it is not fine. I’ll have this corrected—”
“And what? Have your daughter’s governess moved to the room adjoining yours?”
He paled. “That’s not what I meant.”
“I know,” she said. She felt no anger, only sorrow. “But if you’re going to have me moved, you might as well just announce everything for all to see and hear.”
A muscle in his neck flexed, and he turned away, running a hand over his mustache as if deep in thought. He turned back to her again. “I hate this.”
A flood of panic shot through her.
“I hate being apart from you. I hate being here, with them. With Tiberius. He didn’t even recognize me when I saw him.”
“Oh, Ajax. I’m so sorry.” She went to him and grasped his hand.
Immediately he brought it to his mouth, placing one long kiss on it. “You,” he began roughly, his voice thick, before considering his words and starting again. He spoke against the back of her fingers. “I’m yours. I wonder if you truly realize? Everything, all of it. All of me. It belongs to you.”
The panic released, and she found herself feeling something different altogether. A gentle hope, nascent and fragile. But neither the time nor place seemed right. He was distraught and lonely, trapped in his familial home. His elder brother was not long for this world. He might not be thinking clearly. Still, she could not bear this weight much longer.
“And what of us?” she whispered. “What will we do?”
He stilled. Sometimes his blue eyes appeared so dark, much like a storm building on the sea’s horizon. They were like that now as he dropped her hand and stared at her. “What do you mean?”
Her heart raced. Oh dear. This had been a mistake; she ought not to have spoken so plainly. She expected too much, thought too highly of herself. She should have been happy with what he’d deigned to give her, to lavish her with. He’d treated her handsomely, and was bound to continue to do so, along with cosseting her and pleasing her until her toes curled and she shrieked his name. And hadn’t that been all she’d wanted?
“Only that…” she started to say as she stepped back, her hands coming to rest on her chest, shielding her heart. She could not halt the words as the ache built in her. “I wonder if perhaps…”
He stepped forward, following her. That lock of hair had fallen once more, dark streaked with gray, hanging just over his brow.
She felt like the last leaf on one of the trees back in Yorkshire, shuddering in the wind as it clung to its branch for dear life. Soon it would be too late; her time would be up, and she would fall. She stumbled against the wall of the tiny bedroom, not realizing she’d been stepping backward as he’d advanced toward her.
He leaned forward, his eyes still turbulent, his brows narrowed in a way that appeared almost menacing. With one hand placed against the wall above her, he dipped closer. “Susanna,” he murmured, his lips nearly upon hers.
She closed her eyes and tilted her head back, waiting. But for what? For a supplication? Another confession from his handsome lips, that deep, rich voice purring as he told her how he cherished her, wanted her, needed her?
A short, impatient rap at the door startled them both, allowing barely enough time for them to compose themselves and heave their bodies back into upright positions before the door swung open.
Charlotte stood in the hallway, looking very unimpressed and very bored. “I’m here to summon you. If you’re well, that is.” She looked at Susanna. “The maid said you’d asked to be left alone. Cousin Harmonia is worried. She thinks you should eat. I decided to check.” The message delivered, her eyes trailed back to her father. “I’m not sure anyone said anything about you.” Her eyes roved about the room, drinking in every detail as she added a perfunctory “Papa.”
Ajax cleared his throat. “Yes, well. I had onlyvisitedout of an abundance of concern for Miss Abbotts. I’d heard mention of her—”
“I was feeling faint,” Susanna supplied, holding her hands primly in front of her, feeling the burn of shame to the very tips of her ears.
“Yes, that’s right. Can’t have that, not with you running about like a hoyden.” He stepped toward Charlotte and clapped a hand on her shoulder, giving her an awkward pat.
