My fists clench, and I have to hold myself back from trashing everything in this fucking office. I didn't ask to be here, I didn't want any of this shit, and now I have to roll over like some damn lapdog!
Without answering, I turn on my heel and leavethe office.
"So? What's your punishment?" Ty calls out to me with a laugh as I pass by him.
I don't even glance at him, I'm so on edge. It would take nothing for me to snap and turn this place into hell. But I know what anger can make me do, and I can't let myself go. If I crack, the university will be the least of my worries.
I storm backto the dorm, pissed to high heaven. I find all my neighbors gathered in the living room, and one glance is enough to spot the anomaly. A stranger is present. Sitting on a chair, next to Dixie, he seems to be the center of attention among the students.
I freeze when he places his hand on Alabama's. She stares at him with an admiring look on her face. Her eyes sparkle and she's leaning slightly toward him. My jaw tightens until my teeth grind.
What the hell is this?
Shit, what's happening today? Destiny seems to have it out for me because problems are raining down.
"So you work with tanks?" Saphya simpers, addressing the stranger.
"I've always admired Marines," Sonam comments.
I haven't crossed paths with that one often, but right now, I want to strangle him. So the visitor is a jarhead. He's wearing civilian clothes, but now that I know, I notice his shaved head, his way of carrying himself.
"You've put on muscle," Dixie notes. She feels the military man's bicep, and I want to destroy everything in the building.
I step into the room and my gaze collides with the newcomer's. There's no expression in his, it's almost impenetrable. I'mused to sizing up people I meet, but this big guy is different. He's as armored as a bulletproof vest.
At that moment, Dixie turns her head toward me and realizes I'm there. She's about to speak to me, but I walk quickly toward my room and slam the door behind me. My movements are mechanical as I change into workout clothes. I've decided it's better for me to go for a run before practice to release my rage rather than give in to the temptation to wreck everything in my life.
Wise decision.
I grit my teeth thinking that's exactly what my father expects of me, to be a disciplined, reasonable, adult. The Player from two years ago would have smashed everything, would have taken no prisoners. I visualize the carnage he would have caused in the apartment, I can almost hear my roommates' screams when I would have thrown a chair through the common room window. Oh, that would have been so satisfying!
Once I'm dressed, I pass back through the living room ignoring everyone in it, but I can't help hearing Dixie's words, "I admire you, you know."
I understand she's speaking to this guy, the one who makes her eyes sparkle. She had that peculiar expression on her face when she looked at him earlier.
She loves him.
Fuck! This realization plants itself in my chest and it's not the sensation of a well-sharpened blade, no, it's as painful as a serrated knife tearing through my flesh. A fucking piece of metal sinking into my body, ripping it apart.
I rush out of the apartment, desperate to put distance between her and me. Betweenthemand me. Because there's no doubt in my mind that if this guy came to spend his leave with Dixie, it's because he has feelings for her too.
She's going to hook up with a military guy. Now that I've taken her virginity and taught her a bunch of things, he can enjoy himself.
I race down the dorm stairs to reach the main walkway outside. Running, far and long, seems like the perfect solution to channel my rage.
Anger, bitterness, aversion, contempt, aggression, this cocktail that's so familiar to me it's sickening, takes over again.
As my shoes slap on the ground, my heart rate soars, my lungs tingle, and my muscles start to burn. But I don't slow down. I head toward the stadium, covering a good portion of the enormous campus, and when I reach the enclosure that's the Jaguars' territory, I enter to do laps around the field.
However, for the first time in my life, physical exertion doesn't calm me. In fact, my thoughts rage, flashing images of Dixie in my head, reminding me of all the moments we spent together, those intimate times when I enjoyed myself like never before. Her smiles, her moans, her warmth, her scent—everything comes back to haunt me.
I'm not at all calmer when I head back toward the dorm. Far from it! You could easily think I'm under the influence of coke or some other substance, I'm so worked up.
When I arrive in front of the university residence, I slow down and eventually stop. I look up toward the top of the façade, trying to decide what to do. If I run into this guy, I swear that...
"So you're the one sleeping with Dixie."
Oh holy shit!
