Emery catches up with me as I leave the locker room, myshoes squeaking on the tile in the hallway. With my bag over my shoulder, I walk toward the exit without paying him any attention.
A heavy silence stretches between us during which I try to keep my thoughts at bay. By the end of practice, I reached the conclusion that what we did was consensual, so I have no reason to dwell on it. Now, Alabama is just one of the women I've fucked, nothing more, nothing less.
But it was the first time you took a girl's virginity.
Looks like I do have a conscience after all, and it's decided to speak up.
"Fine, I'll just guess," Emery continues, clearly not willing to let it drop. I shoot him a sidelong glance before focusing my attention ahead. I quicken my pace slightly while knowing perfectly well that I have no chance of outrunning my friend. He’s huge, but he’s quick in short bursts, like the length of this hallway. "If Commissar Boardman isn't responsible for your bad mood..."
I could smile at the mention of the nickname he's given my father for years, but I don't feel like it. My throat is a bit tight and my nerves are on edge.
Fuck! I'm straying from my game plan, and I hate it!
"I only see one person capable of turning your brain upside down right now, and that's Dixie."
"Shut up!"
Emery responds with a laugh.
"I don't want to talk," I growl.
"Well, that works out perfectly," he continues, his tone suddenly very serious. "You can listen to me instead!"
I throw him another glance before furrowing my brows.
"Dixie is a good girl. You shouldn't play games with her."
Leaving the athletic complex, I spot a bench along the path back to the dorms and toss my bag onto it before sitting on thebackrest. My friend isn't going to cut me any slack, I know it, so I might as well wait calmly for the storm to pass before continuing on my way.
Immediately, images from Saturday night flood my mind. Dixie's body when she was naked on my bed, her skin striped by the light of lightning tearing through the sky...
A reaction stirs in my boxer briefs, but I ignore it.
Emery stands facing me, determined to set me straight. He hasn't done this often during all the years of our friendship, but I know I'm about to get a serious talking-to.
"I still don't understand what she did to deserve so much contempt from you," he continues.
His comment raises an interesting point. What is it about her that made me derail? Because I consider what happened between us a total loss of control. I mastered our sex session, and showed her pleasures I doubt she’ll ever feel again, but that's not the problem. The issue is that I came to desire her without even thinking before going all the way.
No woman before her had made me feel this way. And this is definitely not something positive, that Alabama has power over me. The fact that she's not even aware of it doesn't lessen my distress.
"She's nice, and she needs to study in peace. I get that you don't care about OMU, or anything else, but…"
My friend pauses. While he doesn't hesitate to tell me some hard truths from time to time, this is the first time he's brought up this subject. “Go on, Em.”
"You have nothing at stake, Player. You don't care about your classes beyond keeping your father off your ass. And you’re the only fucking starting level quarterback in college football who doesn’t give a fuck or not about eventually getting an NFL offer."
I detect a kind of bitterness in his voice that affects me, butI immediately push away this uncomfortable feeling, seething, "It's clear I don't give a fuck! I never asked to rot in this shitty college!"
Emery crosses his arms over his broad chest without stopping his stare-down. I never would have imagined he'd be the type of guy to lecture me. “You don’t mean that. I get why you hate OMU, but this school’s not shit.”
I straighten up, and scoff. “Whatever. And what I do with Alabama is none of your business! She's an adult, and she sleeps with whoever she wants."
My friend's eyes widen in surprise. While he had figured out something was off, he hadn't yet guessed what had really happened between her and me.
"And I do whatever I want, too. Just because you protect my ass on the field doesn't give you the right to lecture me off it. You know me, you know how I am."
"Everyone can change!" Emery says.
