“It's a sensitive subject for Sarah,” my mother said. I shook my head in disbelief.
“I’m not asking you to rub it in her face. Both Amie and I understand that she is going through losing her mate and her pack. Can you honestly say that since you got here there hasn’t been a single moment where you could have pulled Amie and me to the side to talk? Just for a minute or two? Heck, you could have said something as you and I walked here, or after we sat down, but you still haven’t. I know I was never your favourite. That’s fine. Well, not really, but I could deal with it. Now youare doing the same to Amie as you did to me when I was a pup. Sarah is getting all your attention and Amie is being shut out. I’m not saying Sarah doesn’t need your support right now, but Amie does too. I thought you liked her? At the Games it seemed as if you were happy to have her in the family.” I vented all of my frustration in one go.
“I do like Amie. She is a good wolf and she is what you need. I’m happy for both of you,” my mother said. It sounded like a pre-recorded message.
“Right, thank you, mother. Do you know how embarrassed I am by the way you treat her? You mentioned Amie’s parents, and yes, they stayed for a month. Since the first time I spoke with them, they have treated me with respect and kindness. Since finding out I was their daughter’s mate, they have more or less adopted me as part of their family. When they stayed with us her dad took me out and talked to me about being a father. Her mom made sure to find out I like sweet tea made with lime. Each morning there was a freshly made pitcher waiting for me in the fridge and she would scold both Amie and her father if they snuck a glass of it. They treat me like a son. And what does Amie get? She gets to be ignored by my mother. That is embarrassing and I won’t put her through it. She deserves more,” I told my mother and took a deep breath. The more I thought about it, the more upset I got. “Will it be the same with our pup? If I let you meet them will you ignore them? Will you compare them to the imaginary pups Ryder and Sarah could have had and always find mine lacking? Because if so, you will never set foot anywhere near them.” My mother watched me.
“I may have put more time into raising your brother. It doesn’t mean I don’t love you. Ryder was to be the next Alpha. When he was about ten, your father spoke to me. He told me Ryder wasn’t performing as expected. He was not as strong or fast as an Alpha pup his age should be. You were seven at the time and youwere already his equal and had already started showing signs you would outperform him. Your father was a traditionalist and had some strong beliefs that the oldest son should inherit the title. He asked for my help. If we both helped Ryder, he would get stronger and better. How could I refuse my mate? How could I not want my son to succeed? Ryder was already so set on being Alpha, even at that age. It would have broken his heart if he would have had to give it up,” she explained. I was dumbfounded.
“So that is why the two of you didn’t have time for me? Why Aunt Matilda had to step in and raise me?” I asked.
“Yes. We hadn’t expected just how much time we would need to help Ryder become what your father saw as fit to lead the pack. Your father handled the physical training and I took on the responsibility of teaching him how to be strong for the pack. We didn’t see what we were doing until it was too late,” she said.
“You made his whole world revolve around being strong,” I said, the disdain clear in my voice.
“Yes,” she almost whispered. “We didn’t know that was what we were doing, not until just before the Games eleven years ago. During the meeting where the contestants were to be chosen, Ryder had a huge blowup. Your father wanted one of the older warriors to join the team, as he had a long experience and a good head for tactical thinking. Your brother saw him as weak and old. He wanted Karo to take his place.”
“Is that why Ryder didn’t join the Games that year?” I asked.
“Yes. It was your father’s way of teaching him a lesson. After that we tried our best to sort out our mistakes. Then your father died, and I was left with the responsibility of it all.”
“That explains so much. I could never figure out why Ryder was so obsessed with being strong. Or why you never took the time for me.”
“You were always strong, both physically and mentally. We knew you’d be fine.” As I listened to my mother, I laughed. It wasn’t a cheerful laugh, it was a hollow one.
“What a mess you and father made of things. In the end this whole mess is on your shoulders. Just because my father couldn’t accept that his second son was stronger than his firstborn. That is why you have always stuck to Ryder, no matter how much me and Aunt Matilda have asked you to join us,” I said.
“How could I leave him when I was responsible for what he had become? I couldn’t give up on trying to fix it. Now I take care of Sarah because she has suffered at the hands of your brother. Not like the other females of the pack. No, your brother would never let another man lay with his mate. But the things he told her, the way he kept her locked in the pack house. That is why I put all my energy on her. Amie is strong, just like you. You will be fine without me.”
“Has it ever occurred to you to give me love and attention just because I would like it? Not because I needed it to survive? Do you think Amie needs me to carry around fruits and snacks like a vending machine? Do you think she needs me to protect her from all unknown wolves? No! She is capable of walking to get her own snack. I have seen her take down full grown werewolves like it was nothing. I don’t do those things because I have to. I do them because I love her and it is my way of showing her I love her.” My mother looked at me like I had said something that changed the way she looked at the world, maybe I had.
“I never thought of it that way,” she said.
“It’s clear you didn’t.” I sighed. “It’s okay mother. I don’t expect you to change. We have been trapped in this relationship for too long. I just needed to get this off my chest. As a bonus I got insights I didn’t have. Thank you for that. You and Sarah are welcome to stay the week as planned. I can see she is wearyaround me, which is understandable. I won’t force her to be around me. I suspect Amie has a plan for where you can go after the week is over. Thank you for talking to me, but I think I need to head back to my mate. I have been gone far too long,” I said and stood up. My mother walked to the living room with me. I smiled as I saw how happy Amie got over the fruit cup I had brought her. The little things, the small gestures of love, were my favourites. I would do my best to make sure she knew every day how precious she was to me. As we headed out for our walk, she nudged my arm. I got the hint and put it around her.
Chapter 97
Amie
Finlay and I walked through the village as we shared what we had learned during our time apart. We made our way into the woods and ended up at our viewpoint.
“How are you doing? That is a lot of information to take in,” I said.
“I’m okay. But I don’t think it has sunk in yet. My worldview is slowly shifting to adapt,” he told me. I put my arms around him and rested my head on his shoulder. He hugged me back. “I feel sorry for my brother. That is something new,” he said after a while.
“I can understand why. It’s sad to think that if your parents had let him be who he was, even if that meant he wouldn’t become Alpha, he would have grown up to become a happy and productive member of the pack.”
“Yeah. It’s never a good idea when you try to force a square peg into a round hole. Now I find myself wondering what he really wanted out of life. What did he like to do? I mourn that I never got to know that part of my brother,” he told me. I could hear the pain in his voice. I rubbed his chest and he looked down at me.“Thank you, Red,” he said. I knew he wasn’t talking about the chest rub.
“Always,” I simply said and kissed him.
“What are we to do with them?” he asked as I again snuggled into his embrace.
“I was thinking we should reach out to our allies and see if any of them has contact with Sarah’s old pack. If they are willing, maybe the two of them can move to that pack?” I suggested.
“I knew you would have a plan,” he told me.
“I do my best.” We stayed in our spot for a while. As we headed back, we both were in a better mood. “We are in agreement that we won’t force our pup into a role they don’t want or can’t handle, right?” I asked as we were almost home.
