For the secondtime that day, I slump in my office chair from relief. The sender, unlike me, did not click “reply all.”
Wincing, I brace myself for its contents, not sure what to expect. Maybe a curt “Please refrain from emailing stupid things to the entirety of the twenty people on this list.” Or even maybe a “I have contacted your superior for this extreme lack of professionalism.” Honestly, I wouldn’t even be surprised to read something like “Consider yourself fired.” The world of fashion is much more ruthless than you’d expect. Though I will say that, though it is occasionally toxic, most of the time I’ve found the hard work and competitiveness motivating—exhilarating, even. It’s simultaneously been grossly misrepresented and accurately depicted in the world of entertainment.
In the time it takes me to eat three small bags of salt and vinegar kettle chips and down two Diet Cokes, I imagine a whole slew of possible replies. I do not, however, imagine the words in front of my screen.
In simple Times New Roman (and who the hell uses Times New Roman in their emails anymore, anyway? Calibri—sure. It’s the default. But TNR? How oldisthis person?) are the words:
From:
To:
Subject: Your Reply All
It really is cool.
But please be mindful of your email etiquette. Wouldn’t want you getting in trouble over it. ;)
Best,
- W
Irritation flaresall over my suddenly heated skin. How dare they—But really, howdarethey email me that? How dare this person stick their (presumably) big nose inmybusiness? Sure, I made a mistake. But it’s not the end of the goddamn world. And yes, I love my new job. And yes, it’s given me a new sense of purpose that I’ve never felt before in my entire life. But I’ve also never felt more stressed. Never felt more anxious. Truthfully, it’s the first time I’ve felt like Ireallyhave something to lose. There’s no way I’m going to let some loser from the other company—who can’t even sign with their company signature, by the way (another big corporate email etiquette no-no)—tell me how to do my job.
Rage coursing through my veins, fear driving my actions, I click on thereplybutton—with a bit too much force.
From:
To:
Subject: Re: Your Reply All
W (or whoever you are, because you neglected to add your company signature) -
FYI, it wasn’t my intention to reply to everyone. OBVIOUSLY. That email was intended solely for my friend’s eyes. She was the one who sent the updated designs, and my intention was to reply only to her. I tried to recall the email and was mostly successful, but I guess you slipped through the cracks. Apologies for the inconvenience.
Bridget Quinn
Assistant to Lena Bouros
Sartoria & Co.
(212) 555-1234 ext 321
There.
Thinking that’s the end of it, Ihumphonce and nod, satisfied.
From:
To:
Subject: Re: Re: Your Reply All
Dear Ms. Quinn,
I’m sorry to have offended you. It wasn’t my intention. I simply wanted to point out that perhaps your “reply all” might not have been a good idea—especially given you work for one of the most demanding women in the industry. It’s the first time I’ve seen your name on these emails, so I thought you might be new. I wouldn’t have wanted for you to get in trouble just as you’re starting out.
PS. The name’s Will. Please don’t call me W. It makes me cringe.
