“Hello?” I hear his voice come through the other line. As per usual, his voice makes me feel like butter melting on a warm piece of bread. Will I ever get over this feeling? God, I hope not.
“Yoooooooo, Matt!” Vinny says in his bro voice as he slaps some pastrami onto a slice of bread. “What’s good?”
My mother whispers something about how we’re about to have lunch and maybe he shouldn’t be eating anything right now.
“I’m a growing boy, Ma,” he whispers in frustration.
I hear Matt chuckle on the other end of the line at their exchange. “Nothing much. You in Sag Harbor?”
“Yeah, how’d you know?” Vinny raises an eyebrow at his phone, squirting some mustard on another slice of bread.
There’s a brief pause on the other end of the line. “You told me, man.”
“Huh, I don’t remember that.”
“Yeah, you did. Plus, I just heard you have a conversation with your mom.” Awkward silence… Danielle and I look nervously at each other. “So, what’s up?” he changes the topic quickly.
“Right, so do you have plans for Thanksgiving?” Vinny gets to the point quickly.
“Yes. I’m going to watch TV and eat Chinese food,” he says without humor. He’s not saying it to be pitied—that’s not the type of guy Matt is. He’s just accepted the fact that he’s alone over the holidays and going to take it in stride, which, to be honest, hurts my heart. I don’t want him to be alone. And I really don’t want him to feel like that’s okay.
I realize immediately that, by sending Matt that text asking him not to come, I may have inadvertently broken the one rule I promised myself I wouldn’t ever break. I’m scared I made him feel unloved or unwanted when all I wanted to communicate was that it might not be a great idea for us to spend a whole long weekend together at my mother’s, pretending like we’re not dating.
Luckily, my brother makes sure to let his friend know that he’s welcome at our family home. “No way, man. You’re coming back out to Long Island and spending it with us. You can stay the whole weekend, right? You’re off?”
Silence. “Yeah, I mean, I’m not scheduled for any shifts at the hospital, and our office is closed,” he says with hesitation. He sounds like he wants to be excited but knows he should be careful.
“Awesome! Can you come in Wednesday night? I’d give you a ride, but Dani and I decided to take the whole week off since we’re spending Christmas with her parents, and we want to spend more time with my mom.”
“No, it’s cool. I can drive in by myself Wednesday night after work.”
“One sec, Matt.” Vinny looks at me and asks, “When are you coming in?”
“Uh, I have a presentation Wednesday morning, so probably that afternoon or night?” I say in a low voice.
“Uh…hey, Liza,” Matt says nervously over the phone. What the hell does he expect me to say?
Danielle starts to laugh but tries to cover it up immediately with a cough, and I want to murder her. Her inability to be subtle is killing me.
“Uh, hey,” I parrot.
“Right, so it’s settled. You guys can come in together. Otherwise, Liza will have to take the bus or the train in, and that shit’s gonna be packed. You don’t mind, do you?”
“No.” I hear Matt’s smile on the other end of the line. “I really don’t.” I blush.
“Cool,” Vinny says as he finishes making his sandwich and stuffs it into his mouth. “I’ll send you her contact info so you guys can coordinate.” His mouth is full, and what came out was barely understandable, but it was clear enough to finally make Danielle’s self-control evaporate and burst out into a full laugh.
Fucking wine.
Should not have given any to her. She’s such a lightweight.
Vinny and my mother look at her quizzically, but she just shakes her head, apologizes, and says she just remembered a joke someone told her at work a couple of days ago.
“Smooth,” I mouth and roll my eyes at her once my mother opens the fridge to pull out the butter, and my brother takes another bite of his sandwich.
“Great, thanks, man. I know I said I was okay with spending it alone, but I was kind of bummed about it. I’m really looking forward to spending the holidays with you and your family.” He says it to Vinny, but I know it’s directed at me. He’s admitting that he wasn’t looking forward to it, that he would be lonely, and telling me that he can’t wait to spend the week withmeand my family.
“Yeah, sure.” Vinny clears his throat now, uncomfortable with Matt’s change in the tone of his voice. “Any time, man.”
