I’m a ray of fucking sunshine, I know.
“Okay, calm down, Crazy. The point is, you asked me what made my breakup worse than I led on,” Josh says.
“Are you gonna give me a little uplifting speech at the end of your story about how, despite all the hurt, you’re still an optimist and people are good and nice and stuff?” I ask with a raised eyebrow.
He presses his lips together, trying not to laugh. “Maybe.”
I sigh. “Go on. Although I genuinely do not understand how this story could possibly get any worse.”
Josh laughs at my dejectedness and says, “I found out she cheated on me with my best friend.”
“She’s such a cliché.” Itskdisapprovingly, shaking my head.
“And gave me chlamydia.”
I uncross my arms and slam my hands on the table in front of us. “SHUT THE FUCK UP.”
I can’t help myself—I burst out laughing, gasping for air.
Now everything about this story is tragic. It’s a long-term relationship with what turned out to be a heartless, STD-riddled, free-loading bitch that came to an abrupt halt. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a more comical/sad end to a relationship.
“Shh! We’re still in the fucking library, Penny! This room isn’t soundproof!” He’s trying not to chuckle, but I can tell from the amused expression on his face that he’s seconds away from bursting out laughing.
“I’m so sorry,” I say quickly, sobering up. “It’s not funny, I know. I didn’t mean to laugh at your misfortune. It’s just…Jesus. The story just got worse and worse, you know? Who evenwasthis person? How did you end up with her?” I laugh again, not being able to help myself.
I can tell he’s trying to contain his amusement, pressing his lips together again, pretending to be serious and offended by my reaction.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’ll stop.” I sit up straight.
“You done?” he asks with a smile.
I nod and bite my bottom lip, trying my hardest not to smile, but I can’t contain it. I start laughing again at the series of regrettable and heartbreaking events Josh has just laid out in front of me. It’s just so wild. Like a ten-car pile-up in the middle of the freeway. What else could have gone wrong?
He breaks his expression and starts laughing with me. “I mean, she cheated on you and was dumb enoughnotto use a condom? Who is this chick? And with your friend!” I gasp between chortles. “I can’t, Josh. It’s too stupid. They’re just so stupid. I mean, honestly.”
He smiles as we both sober up. “Yeah, I guess it is pretty fucking ridiculous.”
“But see? You just further proved my point! You weren’t just betrayed by one person you loved, but bytwo. Your girlfriend and best friend. What a joke. I told you.”
He shakes his head. “Yes, they areawful, shittypeople, but don’t you get it? It was agoodthing this all happened.”
I snort. “How is getting chlamydia from your cheating girlfriend a good thing?”
“Somany reasons. First”—Josh holds up his index finger, counting off—“it helped push me out of what I now realize was a super toxic and unhealthy relationship I didn’t deserve and probably would have never left. Second,” he continues counting off, “it showed me what I want in a romantic relationship and friendship. Third, I would have never pursued my master’s degree. And fourth, I sure as shit would not have gone to London to do it. I wouldn’t have met you or Oliver or Jane—all people who are much cooler than those two idiots. Every bad experience with people should teach you whonotto surround yourself with, and that’sexactlywhat it taught me. Am I hurt? Do I carry some serious emotional baggage? Maybe. But I think I can definitely do better than them, and I will.”
“How do you know I’m cooler than Kat or your ex-best friend? I could be a serial killer. Or super into Nickelback.”
He laughs and shakes his head. “I don’t think you’re either—thank God.”
I take a deep breath and a good look at him. He looks serene. The sadness I used to be able to catch in his eyes sometimes has gone. I see clearly now what he means. Moving to London has probably helped him as much as it has helped me—and we haven’t even been here that long. Like Josh, I also realize that I possibly wasn’t surrounding myself with the best people. Of course, his realization came from an actual, tangible event, whereas mine was just a series of tiny cuts that, overall, I found could be equally as painful as getting an STD? Although, I can’t say with certainty, given that I’ve never had one.
Yes, I had been hurt by the person I thought I loved the most and my social circle soon after, but I suppose Josh is right in a way. Though he had not disproved my theory that, in general, most human beings are shitty to their core and good ones are rare gems, he did make a good point. Getting hurt by horrible people can sometimes push you in the direction of something better.
The difference between Josh and I, though, is that where he continues his search for better people, using the knowledge acquired from previous negative experiences, I have just given up and decided not even to try. Why waste time searching for the right person anymore? The risk is too high and not worth it.
“So anyway,” he starts, looking down nervously at his hands. “In light of this conversation, I thought that maybe we could—”
“Hello, friends!” Oliver bursts into our study room with arms wide open, smiling from ear to ear with Jane in tow. “I was hoping you would still be here.”
