Silence fills the room, forcing me to look up. Her eyes are wide, and if I didn’t know better, I’d swear tears pooled in them. No, no, no. I can’t let myself go there.
I can’t start micro-analyzing every breath she takes, the color of her cheeks, the part of her lips, the fucking flair of her nostrils. All of those details that I try to make add up to something that isn’t really there.
She draws in a deep breath and floors me again. “I’msorry, Travis.”
Yep, there goes the ache in my heart. I rub my chest, sighing. “What are you apologizing for, Faith? You haven’t done anything wrong.”
“Yes, I have,” she replies on a breathy exhale.
“And what’s that?” I ask in a guarded voice.
She steps closer, and I feel like I’m right back to two weeks ago on the verge of kissing her and making a total ass out of myself.
“I’ve been playing with your feelings,” she says quietly. “Even though I never meant to.”
Yeah, and so?But I keep my lips pressed together and my eyes narrowed.
She continues, “You’ve been forthright with me while I’ve kept mine hidden … for various reasons. I shouldn’t have done that, especially since you’re my best friend.”
I don’t just want to be your best friend. I want to be your lover, your man, the one who cares for you and provides for you.
I shrug. There’s nothing in what she says to get excited about. I think we both know she’s fucked with me, and it’s pretty damn clear she doesn’t feel the same way. Time to move on and get over it.
“I think I ought to go now,” I say, striding towards the door. What’s done is done, but I don’t want to dwell on it, and I sure as hell don’t want to spend the next half hour dissecting it with her. Maybe it makes me immature, but she’s burned through all of my reserves of self-confidence, and what’s left isn’t pretty.
Chapter Eight
FAITH
The double-take Travis gave me when he walked into the store and the long, ragged sigh that escaped his lips flooded me with confidence. But everything since has me rethinking Jess’s plan.
Maybe it’s too late after all. From his downward gaze to the way he kicks the floor with his boot, his disinterest couldn’t be more apparent … or more disheartening.
I can’t stop now, though. I’ve got to focus on what I want. I ask, “Is that how this is going to go, Trav? You fuck up and say something stupid, and I’m punished for it?”
He turns on his heel, narrowing his eyes as he looks at me. “I’ve never heard a curse word come out of your mouth in my life. What’s gotten into you, Faith?”
“Trying to get your attention,” I reply, shaking my head and fisting my hands at my sides.
Frustration flashes across his face. “Well, I’ve been trying to get your attention for a year and look where it’s gotten me. The friend zone every time.”
Taking a deep breath, I remind myself of all the times Travis put himself out there over the past year, trying to makehis feelings for me clear. And I think about all of the times I shut him down with a trite smile and a tepid excuse.
I kept thinking he was a player and that I misread his signals. My lack of experience didn’t help anymore than my knowledge of his supposed ample experience.
A storm of confusion washes over Travis’s face, and I realize I need to explain myself. Finding the right words isn’t easy, though.
I confess, “I couldn’t wrap my head around the idea that the guy every girl in this town wants could somehow want me. I’m sorry, Travis.”
He shakes his head. “I don’t care about those other girls, and you shouldn’t, either. There’s a reason I’m standing in a fucking feed store right now and not drinking at Stonie’s Five Star. I know what I said after we kissed was stupid. But when I get around you, I have trouble thinking straight.”
I know exactly how he feels. I close the distance between us, standing in front of him and thinking back to how good it felt to have his arms wrapped around me. Instead of focusing on his stupid pickup line, I think about how my heart drummed behind my ribs, and the way his lips left their mark on mine, tender and urgent.
Our eyes lock, and he can’t hide the longing pulsing behind his. Their dark depths are a swirl of skepticism, pain, desire, and passion. Although his face is unreadable, I see everything I need to in his eyes.
I admit, “After the kiss, I probably could have handled things better. But then you could have, too. We both messed up.”
My heart’s beating out of my chest, and I have a thick lump in my throat as I wrap my arms around his waist, pressing myself against his hard body. He doesn’t move an inch, and my heart drops.
