“Tough to outrun expectations and stereotypes in a town this small.” He knows better than anyone what he’s talking about. “Maybe you should quit focusing on how to act around women and be yourself. If Faith’s the right girl for you, it’ll work itself out. But as things currently stand, you don’t know for sure because you keep trying to put on a bad boy act. What’s worked with the other women won’t work with her. Faith’s a different breed, and you know that better than anyone.”
“But without my pickup lines and cocky comebacks, I’m a blubbering fool, bro.”
“Quit trying to act like Logan. Hell, even Logan doesn’t act like that since he met Jess. If it helps, try to think about what you really want instead of what you think you should want.”
I rub my hand over my heart, taking in his words. “What I want is a steady girl. One that I can count on and who I know will be there for me before, during, and after fire season,” I say it quietly. I don’t know if the words surprise me or Wolfe more.
He nods, and I know he gets it as a military man. “You want someone to make a home and a family with.”
Thinking about it for a long spell, I ask, “Kind of a stupid thing for a twenty-seven-year-old, right?”
“Nope. If that’s what you want, why question it? Instead, figure out what you need to do to get it and keep it.”
I sigh, letting the thought sink into my head. “Well, I guess I’d start by letting go of my good-time-guy reputation.”
“That’s a start. And maybe focus on finding a girl who wants you for who you are rather than who she thinks you are? I don’t know if that’s Faith, but you might as well find out.”
“I don’t know. I always thought she was the one who worried too much about what others think. Maybe I’ve got my own issues there, too.”
“Tough to hang onto the past and the present. I think if you’d start acting a little more like yourself, you’d quit spouting dumbass lines.”Dumbass lines.It’s the first time he’s said it, but I knew he would.
We sit in silence for a long time, and I’m thankful for Wolfe’s quiet, non-intrusive way of being. But the conversation feels one-sided, and I don’t want it to be all about me.
So, I ask, “Wolfe, what is it that you really want?”
He glances at me, frowning. “Forgiveness.”
The one-word answer throws me off. I don’t know what all has gone on between Izzie and him because he and my sister-in-law both value their privacy. But it’s a damn shame because they used to be so good together. Maybe there are no happily ever afters when it’s all said and done.
I ask, “Forgiveness from Izzie?”
He nods, looking away. “And forgiveness for her. That can be more difficult than you think when you’ve let pain after pain pile on top of each other with no resolution.”
Chapter Six
FAITH
Yesterday, Jess and I spent the afternoon in Ophir City on a shopping spree. Now, I stare at a bed laid out with frilly, lacy shirts, flashy jeans, and pretty bra and panty sets.
I hesitated about spending money on fancy underwear. An unnecessary expense in my book. But Jess explained, “Sexy underwear is the foundation of your entire vibe. Nobody has to know you’ve got them on. It’s about the confidence they give you. Trust me, they’re the most important thing you can buy today.”
Next, we visited a local salon where Jess talked me into getting highlights and a trim. It felt weird focusing on me for once. Having all the attention is a new feeling. It always went to my rodeo queen sister Birdie while I hung out in the shadows.
My mom rued the day my hips started growing and went into permanent mourning when they didn’t stop. She declared my rodeo queen days dead before they ever started. And once the initial sting wore off, I felt relieved. After all, whatBirdie endured under my mom’s controlling, microscopic gaze was nightmarish.
I resigned myself to being the ugly sister. The one nobody paid any attention to. This belief became a part of my identity, and I find it impossible to shake, especially in the context of Travis. But Jess is bound and determined to make me feel like the queen she says she knows I am. And I like the idea of it, for sure. I guess that’s a start.
I took the morning off from work and had my part-time employee handle the delivery with the help of Logan and his brother Maksim, and now I sit staring in the mirror at my transforming reflection. Jess spent the past half hour curling my hair, and the caramel-highlighted brown locks look lustrous and sexy.
She applies blush, eye makeup, and lip gloss. She doesn’t do anything over the top or that makes me feel like I’m no longer myself. Instead, she enhances my light brown eyes and long, thick eyelashes, and she makes my cheekbones stand out with the perfect amount of blush and bronzer.
By the time she finishes, my lips look full and shiny, my face has a fresh, dewy appeal, and my hair is downright fierce. I shake my head, staring at my reflection in disbelief. It’s still me but with so many glamorous possibilities emphasized.
“Damn, girl, you look hot! My brother’s going to lose his shit when he sees you.”
“Do you think so?”
Jess smiles next to me, staring in the mirror. “I know so.”
