And just like that, he was gone — while I was still opening and closing my mouth, too shocked and furious to figure out how to argue.
The rain came downin a deluge, pounding the earth, rattling the leaves, drowning out every other sound. Torin’s shadowy shape mounted Lambo and disappeared from my view.
And it was terrifying. I crouched by the rock, the cold seeping through my plaid, water running in rivulets down my spine, peering into the not quite darkness, with a desperate, total inability to see. So I stopped looking. I sat down with my back against the rock, completely drenched.
The storm was deafening. I clamped my palms over my ears, and tried to keep my breathing under control. I didn’t want to freak out, but oh shit, I was freaking out. I was having trouble…
My breath came too fast. Too shallow. My chest locked, my eyes were wild and unfocused. I couldn’t see, couldn’t hear, couldn’t think.
Breathe, Lexi, just breathe.It was Cooper’s voice, but I couldn’t breathe… he wasn’t here and I missed him. I missed my house and my life and Jen, and it hit me truly — I would never see them again. Ever.
They would never know what happened to me, that I was crouched in a storm, terrified in the middle ages. That Torin left me in the forest in the rain, all alone.
18
LEXI
1558 - TO GLENESK
In the dimness... faint splashes... breath gone... slipping away...
Hands grabbed my shoulders — I gasped, I couldn’t get a breath —
“I hae ye.”
Torin pulled me to his chest and hugged me, stroking his hands down my back. “I hae ye, ye are okay.”
I couldn’t breathe, intake of air, shook my head, gasping, grasping.
He peered at my face, “Ye well, Princess…?”
I shook my head again.
My feet tingled, my chest hurt.
“Och nae,” he said. “Breathe, ye must hae air.” He grasped my shoulders and forcibly straightened me up. His face close to mine, he said, “Breathe, Princess, ye must draw it in.”
I drew in a staggering breath.
“Let it go now.”
It whooshed out, but then I panicked — I wouldn’t be able to get it again. Torin’s hands rubbed along my back. I drew inanother, staggered breath, and then released it, melting against his chest.
His voice low, his hands rubbing down my shoulders. “Once more.”
I let some air out and then drew in some more.
I felt like I could maybe possibly do it again. He rubbed my arm saying, “That is good.”
I nodded, but then snapped out of it. Fear turned to anger. He was crouched in front of me, I shoved him hard in the chest. “Get off me!”
I gathered strength from the rage in my heart and slammed my fists into his chest, once, twice. “I hate you! You left me! How can you do that to me? You promised you wouldn’t do it again!”
He stumbled back, landing hard in the mud. I scrambled up and stood over him, trembling with fury, rain streaming down my face.
Torin looked up at me, jaw tight. “I had tae see if our route was safe, Princess, I?—”
“Stop calling me that!” My voice cracked. “I’m not your princess! You deserted me in the middle of nowhere in the rain and—” My breath caught, my anger folding in on itself. I crumpled, dropping to the ground in front of him, my chest heaving.
