Jack scowled. “Well, you are doing your damn best that she does. How do you know this? Has she said this?”
Sam was quiet. Clara had not said those words, but all her distrust hinted at it. “Not in so many words, but she believes I am still involved with Lady Hawley and also with a mistress in Liverpool. She said my actions with acquiring her parents’ debt was unseemly.”
“Did you attempt to talk with her? Tell her about Abigail?”
Sam said nothing. Jack sighed and took a sip of his brandy. “You are blundering this. Why would you not tell her about Abigail?
He scowled at his brother’s reprimand.
“I know I am not one to talk but I think you are wrong to not open up to Clara. I can’t imagine what conclusions she is jumping to if you haven’t even shared why you are so concerned about Dolan. She needs to know how much of a monster he is,” Jack said.
“She already knows,” Sam said, defeated.
“She knows he brutalizes women, and her parents are complicit?” Jack asked bluntly.
No, she didn’t know that. “I don’t want her to know her parents would betroth her knowingly to such a man. I had hoped things between us and the Claremores could be at least amicable. She would be devastated.”
Jack snorted. “Do you think she would be shocked? What is this really about? You have grown increasingly moody and distant from Clara.”
Sam flushed not wanting to admit his own insecurities to his brother who never wavered in his own self-worth.
“Sam?”
He couldn’t keep it all bottled up and finally said, “I fear someday she will regret her choice in not marrying a lord. I don’t care what others think of me, but I care what others think of Clara. Everywhere we go there are whispers and gossip. She was the most sought-after young lady of the season and I have turned her into a mockery. The lady who fell so low she had to marry a commoner. A boy from the streets.”
Jack’s eyes flashed. “Yes, a boy who pulled himself up from the worst imaginable hell. Maggie would tear into you for acting as if you are not worthy of her.”
“I never said I wasn’t worthy of her. I want her to have the respect that goes with a title. She will never have that with me.”
Jack stood and walked over to Sam. Sam looked up at him puzzled. Jack swung his hand back and slapped him across the back of his head.
“Ow!” Sam said, hopping up from his chair.
“That is for Maggie. She would be so furious with you right now. None of those gossipers are worth your time. And I was around when Clara was getting the worst of the gossip. Your wife never once acted like she cared. Damn it, Sam. How I wish Maggie were here to set you straight.”
Sam thought about his mother. He could still remember all those years ago when as a boy of fifteen she told him the words he needed to hear. That he had value and he mattered. She along with Joseph had told him that every day until he believed it. He smiled, remembering eventually he had become so cocky that Maggie said he was unbearable. He would just wink at her.
“I miss them,” Sam said.
Jack nodded. “So, do I, my brother. They would be so proud of the man you have become.”
Sam felt tears prick his eyes and cursed. “No, you are wrong. Maggie would be furious I have doubted myself again. I have really blundered all of this.”
Jack clapped him on the back. “I think you and your wife need to have a real discussion. You underestimate her. She is not a lady to cower under society’s censor.”
“I was trying to protect her,” Sam explained.
“Withholding things from her and avoiding serious discussions, I can tell you from experience, is not the right course to take. You have chosen to let your own doubts fester. That is what is destroying your marriage, not Clara missing out on being married to a lord.”
Was he driving her away, Sam wondered? Was he making inaccurate assumptions about his wife? To protect himself, he had avoided asking her anything directly. He missed his wife and his friend.
“You are a damn fool, Sam. Don’t wait too long to swallow your pride and share your feelings with her. Take it from someone who almost lost their wife. It isn’t worth it. Even if she truly didn’t want you, wouldn’t it be better to know?”
“Perhaps you are right,” Sam said quietly.
His pompous brother nodded and said, “Of course, I am. Plus only one of us needs to be broody. It is my part, not yours.”
Sam chuckled. “I am going to tell your wife you admitted to being broody.”
