I whip to face him, my elbow slamming hard against the glass vase sending it to the floor with a sharp crash. Glass shards skitter throughout the room, water seeping into the thin carpet.
“Shit.” I crouch down and attempt to pick up the mess. Another mess I couldn’t help but make. Why am I so clumsy with every fragile thing in my life? Avery. Fool’s Gambit. Everything. The only thing I can’t seem to shatter is my own career.
I reach for a large piece and stumble from my awkward crouch, slicing the fleshy part of my palm. Beads of blood seep to the surface a second before the lighting jolt of pain lances up my arm.
“Fucking idiot,” Garrett snaps. He hoists me up and away, tucking his arms under mine. “I hate it when you do shit like this.”
“Like what?” I snap. “It’s just a cut.” That is starting to throb, but I won’t letherget to me. A reaction is what she’d want and I won’t give it even when she can’t see.
Air gusts from my lungs as he shoves me hard against the door. His fists clench around the collar of my shirt, pulling the fabric taut around my neck. “Is it? Because last time, it was just you throwing a punch to start a fight you were never going to win. It matters that you get hurt. I’m so sick of you pretending you don’t care, because I know you do. I know Wesley Gaflin cares an annoying amount and he was the only person who could have convinced me to join his stupid band,” he seethes through gritted teeth.
“Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say so much at once.” Humor comes on instinct. Garrett is the one person who stuck with me through everything, but he’s never once voiced any of this.
“Wesley.”
“What exactly do you want me to do?”
“Take better care of yourself, because there are people who give a damn about your wellbeing. Promise me that I won’t have to call your mom one day and tell her you’re in the hospital.”
It’s the final nail, pounded right through my chest. For so long, I’ve pretended that I’m the only one affected by my actions, and even then, Derek or Garrett makes the consequences go away. But he’s right. If I keep going like this, one day I’ll be met with something I can’t recover from.
I can’t do that to them. I can’t be another person Mom sobs over in a hospital bed.
A knock rattles the door against my back sending a vibration through my spine. “Everything okay in there?”
“I promise,” I say, my throat is tight.
Garrett releases me. I step aside and open the door, throwing on a sheepish smile to the crew member on the other side. “All good. Well, mostly. There was a bit of an accident with a vase.” I shift so they can see then hold up my hand. “I also might need a bandage before going on.”
The on-site medical staff clean and bandage the gash in my hand. It’s shallow and doesn’t require any major care, but it throbs. A not-so-pleasant reminder I’ll have to carry with me through the performance.
Once I’m free to go, I’m rushed to the stage, where everyone else is already waiting.
“Sorry for the hang-up,” I say.
Garrett’s eyes find mine and I hold up my hand to show him everything is fine.
“Everyone good to go?” a stage manager asks, obviously eager to usher us into position.
“Just one second.” I step forward to look at my bandmates. “This is our last time doing this. And I’ve waited this long to tell you all how much it means to me that you took a chance on us all those years ago. I should have thanked you then, or anytime in the last ten years. We’ve already proved to the world we’re worth remembering. Let’s just have fun out there tonight.”
“Couldn’t help but be dramatic one last time,” Luca jabs, but there’s no venom in it.
“Gotta take every opportunity I still have.” Because there’s a chance that, after tonight, I’ll never see Luca again. I don’t know how to make amends for the past. The least I can do is help giveus all this closure. He never got that final performance with the rest of us. Now it really does feel like the end.
“Fuck. These lights are bright,” Jared says, his eyes glossy.
“The lights are all off,” Garrett says.
Jared squints, wiping at his face with the back of his hand. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah, because we’re supposed to be out there.”
There’s something in the way Garrett says it. We’re supposed to be out there, but it’s not just about tonight. It’s something deeper that we’ve earned and can’t be taken away. Not by Maddie or anyone else.
Jared and Luca step forward, but a firm grip clasps my shoulder. “Thank you.”
I nod; Garrett lets me go and walks past me to join them, leaving me a step behind, where it feels like I’ve been trapped for ages. But I move forward, closing the gap to join them.
